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just something to think about : Swingers Discussion 57727
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TOPIC: just something to think about
Created by: nib
Original Starting post for this thread:
Does anyone else like to cuddle some before and after sex? I like to do this. Am I the only one who does this?

Niblet

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Hub loves to cuddle and I do to, I just tend to get very heated and need some space. That does not mean I don't come back for a little cuddle of atleast snuggle a little first. Hub often teases me about how hot I get even when I sleep. LOL naturally hot I guess..

Cumming GA
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Unless I missed your point, I think that's pretty much what I said. -Mr. Fun

Henderson NV
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Aw shucks, Mr. Fun! Thank you! -MJ :)

Boulder City NV
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Mrs. W, that's an easy one. Any man who would not want to snuggle with you is gay. ;) -Mr. Fun

Henderson NV
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I think you said it well, Mr. Fun. In my opinion, both you and Jim have a handle on different reasons people have these rules, and why they often change. I also fully agree with what's been said on intimacy when warming up: without that, I just wouldn't be turned on. As far as snuggling afterwards...to me it feels strange to go from full speed to a sudden stop, so I do prefer to snuggle afterwards. Mr. is the same way. We try to get some kind of read on the other couples' preference though, and at times I may seem to be holding back if I'm unsure, just to be considerate. I know some couples do save that. I sure do like when the other man's arm goes up and he pulls me in though :) It's nice to feel welcomed and uninhibited! If that doesn't happen though, I am fine to fall into a sweaty heap like a pack of pigs in a mud puddle! Hell, sometimes it's too hot to snuggle anyway! -Mrs. W. :)

Boulder City NV
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Next time I won't be so shy! :-))

Jim

South Riding VA
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"Anybody who has been swinging for years will confirm that there is a very common pattern among swingers. Newbies are full of rules, because they are very naturally full of anxieties & insecurities about swinging, and need rules to feel more secure. As time goes by, they get over it, and rules fall by the wayside."

While I agree with the observation that, generally speaking, rules go by the wayside after a period of time, I feel the reason is not due to initial insecurities. IMO, many couples initially set rules to make the transition into swinging easier to accept, e.g. "I want to have sex with other people, but I will save the kissing and cuddling just for you." It lets them feel like they still have something only they can share and still have sex with others. In a manner of speaking, it is a negotiating tool.

In our own experience, and in others we know who have been around this activity for awhile, after awhile many of the rules you started out with are no longer a big deal. You come to realize it is the love you share that makes your relationship special and no one can replace that. The kissing and cuddling become another form of intimate activity. When you think about it, putting a dick inside a pussy is more intimate than putting a tongue inside a mouth.

Think about those who are not in this lifestyle. Would they rather discover their spouse had kissed their best friend or had sex with their best friend? Would one or the other upset them more or less? -Mr. Fun

Henderson NV
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J_D, we also agree that sweetblonde is a fantastic lady. We had the pleasure of having dinner with her and her very charming and funny hubby, and we had such a wonderful time, and we haven't laughed so much in years. And it was the 1st time we ever met in person, too.

Besides, she's a beautiful lady, and Mrs. Valovers thought her hubby was just SO cute!

Jim :-))

South Riding VA
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Wow, J_D, thank you so much! You are too kind!

SandJ, you may be onto something about separate room swingers being more prone to cuddling. When you use separate rooms, you never know for sure when the couple in the other room is "done," so when you are done you cuddle & talk for a while. If it gets to be too long, we head downstairs for dessert and holler out "We're going downstairs!" so the other couple knows they don't have to wait around for US!

Jim

South Riding VA
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I think it is safe to say VA and Here2 will not be hooking up anytime soon. As for reaching an age when you will do anything to get laid, speaking stricktly for myself I think that age was about 15. As for cuddling Webster's defines as "hold close for warmth or compfort or in affection, to lie close or snug, a close embrace" . I tend to think, like it or not, if you have done the deed with another party you have by definition have cuddled. Unless of course you are equipted with a tool that allows you to work from afar. But alas even those so equipted that we have meet seem to work for a snug close embrace. We say cuddle and feel the warmth.

Emerald Isle NC
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TOPIC: just something to think about