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Romance : Swingers Discussion 2175831021
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TOPIC: Romance
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Sure, balance is key, but there is something to be said for variety as well.

As a young man, I used to imagine the perfect woman being a blend of Ginger and Mary Anne.

From the perspective of age, however, I think I'd rather have one of each.

Amherst Canada
 
 
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ChasnGwen, there's something to be said for that "perfect balance" between the two {wink}

Mcallen TX
 
 
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I don't see anything wrong with being a gentleman... or a caveman ;-)

Visalia CA
 
 
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Oh, & Nic, that wasn't the assumption I was referring to.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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Wow, Sb! Very well said....both posts! Your description of your secure relationship with Mr. Sb describes mine with my husband perfectly. The only difference is that we've been married over 21 years....together for over 27! I'm fortunate that he understands that I do have fantasies, & wants me to fulfill them. Unfortunately, that's why a lot of vanilla spouses sneak behind each others' backs, & marriages fail. This situation may not work for everyone, but it does for us. I'm also thrilled that there are classy sm out there whom we can trust.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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Mrs. SB, I agree with you. One of the first things I ask when talking with any couple is "What are your rules/boundaries?" I actually appreciate it from time to time when people ask me the same thing.

To me, there is a difference between a deep, romantic love and a sensual, romantic evening. Sure, many people combine both. But in the swing lifestyle, there are some that can keep them separate.

Syracuse NY
 
 
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Nin: "Nic, not clear how you can make that assumption,"

You have been talking about him coming to meet you for weeks and posted this ("Nic, ground rules have been discussed, established & agreed upon.") so it seemed clear you were describing an impending meet.

Poland OH
 
 
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Thank you Gina. I appreciate the response.

And for the record, I am not against some hardcore fucking. It can be damn fun with the right partner.

Syracuse NY
 
 
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why oh why did I have to stumble in here? This is actually the fantasy thread, not the Intentions thread.

I lean more towards aggressive fantasy, not choking, but certainly the take charge thing. In that vein, I do not care for soft porn, or porn with a story line, sensuality in porn, romance in porn, and/or fantasy romance, but that's just me. It's not my fantasy. It wouldn't turn me on to be romanced in this way by a swing partner; instead it would probably be confusing a bit. AND NO, that does not mean I have self esteem issues, it just means I like to fuck.

ANYWAY...when (and okay, if sometimes) my husband does things that romance me, then it's a turn on. I think it's b/c I have my heart invested and it will touch my heart to see that effort made to make a statement of romance/love. He always opens doors, helps me on w/ coat, just nice chivalrous things like that. He has lit candles and run me a bath, and there is an intimacy to that. Maybe that's where people take issue with your fantasy, Tim, but I don't know. Again, it's a fantasy. It's neither "right" or "wrong." These are just people's reactions, not necessarily judgments.

I find that swingers are among the most judgmental and narrow-minded people I've ever met. Both on here and in person.

But back to the romance fantasy: some women (myself included) are a bit put off by the notion of being romanced. I don't know exactly why. I'm not a "chick flick" girl, but sometimes I am. :) I'm not necessarily a hearts and flowers and cards and candles and wine girl. But sometimes I am. In other words, no one can assume to "know" me, not even my husband, at any given time. I like it sometimes, not always, and not as the norm.

Now, if Mr Sexus were to SAY to me, "I'd like to romance you with rose petals and a massage and a hot bath," etc., I'd make a face and probably roll my eyes. But if he were to just do those things without a word, okay, I'd be melting in his hands, probably. Or it would start that way, perhaps, and then I'd be all over him impatiently wanting him inside me.

So, I'd say that a lot (most?) of women are a bit "complicated." Some prefer the romance over the raw sex, and some the other way around. I'd say most like a mixture of the two. But to post a fantasy of pure aggression (ie choking/rape) or to post a fantasy of pure romance is going to garner some negative responses b/c they are at two ends of the sexuality/sensuality scale.

That's all this is about.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Nic, not clear how you can make that assumption, but thank you! We certainly will!!!

New Orleans LA
 
 
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TOPIC: Romance