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Romance : Swingers Discussion 2175831031
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TOPIC: Romance
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why oh why did I have to stumble in here? This is actually the fantasy thread, not the Intentions thread.

I lean more towards aggressive fantasy, not choking, but certainly the take charge thing. In that vein, I do not care for soft porn, or porn with a story line, sensuality in porn, romance in porn, and/or fantasy romance, but that's just me. It's not my fantasy. It wouldn't turn me on to be romanced in this way by a swing partner; instead it would probably be confusing a bit. AND NO, that does not mean I have self esteem issues, it just means I like to fuck.

ANYWAY...when (and okay, if sometimes) my husband does things that romance me, then it's a turn on. I think it's b/c I have my heart invested and it will touch my heart to see that effort made to make a statement of romance/love. He always opens doors, helps me on w/ coat, just nice chivalrous things like that. He has lit candles and run me a bath, and there is an intimacy to that. Maybe that's where people take issue with your fantasy, Tim, but I don't know. Again, it's a fantasy. It's neither "right" or "wrong." These are just people's reactions, not necessarily judgments.

I find that swingers are among the most judgmental and narrow-minded people I've ever met. Both on here and in person.

But back to the romance fantasy: some women (myself included) are a bit put off by the notion of being romanced. I don't know exactly why. I'm not a "chick flick" girl, but sometimes I am. :) I'm not necessarily a hearts and flowers and cards and candles and wine girl. But sometimes I am. In other words, no one can assume to "know" me, not even my husband, at any given time. I like it sometimes, not always, and not as the norm.

Now, if Mr Sexus were to SAY to me, "I'd like to romance you with rose petals and a massage and a hot bath," etc., I'd make a face and probably roll my eyes. But if he were to just do those things without a word, okay, I'd be melting in his hands, probably. Or it would start that way, perhaps, and then I'd be all over him impatiently wanting him inside me.

So, I'd say that a lot (most?) of women are a bit "complicated." Some prefer the romance over the raw sex, and some the other way around. I'd say most like a mixture of the two. But to post a fantasy of pure aggression (ie choking/rape) or to post a fantasy of pure romance is going to garner some negative responses b/c they are at two ends of the sexuality/sensuality scale.

That's all this is about.

Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Nic, not clear how you can make that assumption, but thank you! We certainly will!!!

New Orleans LA
 
 
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And for the record, this has nothing to do with any upcoming plans.

It was just a representation of my views in general.

Syracuse NY
 
 
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I don't associate it with love or courting. Well, I mean it obviously is part of that as well, but I cerainly didn't mean it in that context on a swing site. In fact, that was the furthest thing from my mind.

My point, which seems to have gotten lost somewhere, is that this is a fantasy. A idealized concept of a great evening. I think it is perfectly okay to wine & dine and charm a woman with no strings attached. This is a swing site after all.

It just seems to me that there are so many fantasies on this board that talk about aggression, domination, or animalistic behavior that there needs to be equal time discussing something with class and sophistication. Not to compare the two, mind you. Just to provide equal opportunities for discussion.

Syracuse NY
 
 
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be that as it may Tim I think most of the time when you bring up "romance" on a swing site it throws up red flags. Most people associate Romance with Love or courting a girl. You may not but many do. The word Romance would make me run for the hills if used by a SM.

PG

Louisville KY
 
 
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PG, that's ONE definition. Not the only one.

Romance -

strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something

mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful

artistic work, such as a novel, story, or film, that deals with sexual love, especially in an idealized form

I never at any point fell "in love" with anyone I have played with in the lifestyle nor have I attempted to get them to fall in love with me. Either I am doing a poor job of explaining or folks are misinterpreting what I'm saying.

Syracuse NY
 
 
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NiN, since he posted this as a fantasy I had no idea he was describing your upcoming weekend together. You may recall he blocked me and tried to get me suspended so I can only read the op, not his other posts.

Hope you two have a great weekend. You seem like a good fit.

Poland OH
 
 
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Tim, I think it's simply the way it initially came across. {key word initially} No need to be defensive.

I, personally, am in agreement with your feelings toward choking, rape, etc. But, that comes from personal experience making it impossible for me to even consider that as something I could EVER be cool with, and I also don't feel critical toward those that do enjoy that type thing.

Mcallen TX
 
 
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definition of Romance- A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

I only want romance from my spouse.

Louisville KY
 
 
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Nic, ground rules have been discussed, established & agreed upon. PG, I think it's the word "romance" that's throwing everyone off. The actions you described are very similar to what I like to experience with sm.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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TOPIC: Romance