I can't thank you all enough for the support, words of encouragement, advice, and the confidence boosting compliment. Thank you. It's really nice to have some experienced players and veterans offer up words of wisdom, and insight.

That goes without saying.

One other option is to meet up with another couple, and during playtime take on both guys at once.

T

Good advice all around. I'd like to add that Mrs. Adari is one helluva hot babe. Wow...

The nerves are absolutely normal, though I don't recommend picking up a guy at a vanilla bar. At least not for your 1st time. Because unless you're planning on getting a hotel room, do you really want to invite a complete stranger back to your place?

There's plenty of single guys on this site, so pick out a few you (and hubby) are interested in and start contacting them. Some will inevitably flake out, that just goes with the territory, but don't sweat it.

Of course, we've found that a LS club is the best/easiest place to meet single men. What we do is identify a gentlemen that we both agree on and then Miss Cpl will approach him and strike up a conversation while I just sit back and relax. If she's still talking with him after a few minutes, I'll go over and introduce myself and we just let things play out from there. Usually we talk for a bit to get to know each other and then maybe hit up the hot tub. If everything is still clicking, we'll invite him to a playroom with us and explain our rules and exactly what it is we're looking for that evening. After that, it's go time.

T

Adri, it is perfectly normal to be that mix of excited but nervous, not only just because its new, but you might find you have that same feeling meeting new potential play partners. Even ones I have texted and chatted with at length there is still that feeling. Sometimes even when seeing someone I have played with before but haven't seen in awhile.

Thanks for the advice you two.

BLT2LST (I hope I got that right, I'm going by memory).. It is definitely something I want. I have a few things I like in porn that I'm just not down to do in real life, or maybe not ready for just yet.. who knows what I'll be into 5 years from now. Also, I personally think that we are normal.. hyper normal as far as desires go, but what makes us abnormal is our willingness to be real with what we want, and to overcome the necessary fears to have those desires fulfilled.

Nik... Thanks for that. I'm not really interested in dragging it out, but I would like to have me and the Mr. hang out with the guy for drinks or pool, maybe go dancing.. I don't know. Then have the Mr. sort of lead things, or the guys to have figured things out first. I think until I'm really confident in the situations it may just be easier if the Mr. would lead it, for the most part.

I'm a weird mix of Likes-to-be-in-control, and desperately-loves-it-when-a-man-takes-control.

Adari, my best advice is to go at your own pace, pushing your boundaries a little at a time. See if there is a single guy on SLS in your area that you are attracted to who has certs and specifically says he is willing to take things slow. Email him, explain you would like to meet for a drink. Nothing more. If you meet him and he isn't pushy but you still like him, ask if he wold like to get together again and maybe watch you and your husband with no guarantee of playing himself. If that goes well, you can decide if you want to play a little the next time, maybe oral only. Some guys won't have the patience and you can't do this for months on end but I am sure you can find a guy who is willing to take his time.

BTW, the exhilaration and nervousness are quite normal, can you remember the first time you had sex with your husband? Didn't it feel a little like that?

Adari: Please what's normal? If we were "normal," none of us would be on this site....LOL...I can see being taken totally off guard by this. I love to watch gangbangs in porn. Would I ever do it if given the chance, probably not unless I was REALLY in the moment. Go with your gut.

I (wife) fantasize about it a lot. It's typically plays a part in the majority of my other fantasies as well. At this point me and the Mr. haven't had a MFM, and last night while we were out playing pool he asked if there was anyone there I might be interested in for an MFM. I was completely overwhelmed at him suggesting it. I was equal parts intensely excited, and completely terrified. My brain shut down, and I was like a deer in headlights. If I can't even handle the thought of it without being so excited and scared that I stop thinking straight, then how am I ever going to make it through the actual event. I feel like I will just hyperventilate and pass out. hahaha.. sigh. Tell me this is normal, please.

I can't see any SM having performance issues with Mrs. Lonjo in attendance, but still very sound advice.