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Good Friend : Swingers Discussion 188453
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TOPIC: Good Friend
Created by: GardenCpl0322 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Straight out? Ny advice? I would say that you should keep it a fantasy if you value both your marriage and your friendship.

I advise that you should keep such activities limited to swingers who actually understand that this is a fun thing that does not (should not, anyway) carry any baggage with it.

I do not believe that your friendship will be improved by the experience, but probably lessened. You marriage relationship may be lessened as well. Swinging with others that you initially do not have a friendship relationship is different. You may become friends later, but the whole dynamic is different.

My advice is, "do not do it."

San Luis Obispo CA
 
 
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If I were in your position, I would do what sextus did. I would start talking about it in bed with her. Say something like, "It would be hot if 'Bob' were here right now" and get a reaction. If she knows this guy, you will get a sense of her interest in him. If she doesn't know him, talk about having a stranger in bed together. If it gets her excited then continue to talk about it, include it in your fantasy talk during sex. Start telling her that you are going to make this a reality one day, maybe even tell her one night that "Bob" is on his way over (even though he isn't). If she freaks out, maybe the time isn't right but if she gets turned on by the thought, then make it happen. Even though it may be less of a surprise this way, you will know that she is ok with it and trust me, she will still be surprised you actually went through with it.

good luck and have fun!

Poland OH
 
 
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"When dominating her you dont ask her if everything is ok, thats kinda part of the fantasy."

Which illustrates perfectly why there's a huge difference between fantasizing and actually dominating someone.

Kitty Hawk NC
 
 
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"she . . . likes being dominated and told what to do."

Hmmmm.

If you are in a D/s relationship, have discussed her limits, and she's fine with being told to serve some guy who shows up unannounced, I'm sure this would be a successful session.

However, if she sometimes likes to be told what to do and sometimes doesn't, this would be a scenario that could turn out very badly if she says, "Hell no, no way, no how!"

There's another thread on here about taking one for the team in which several experienced couples make clear that they wouldn't ask a partner to have to make a decision when they know it would put that partner on the spot. While what you're proposing makes a great fantasy, I think if you want to go beyond fantasizing, you have to discuss this beforehand with your wife and make sure it's a fantasy for her too.

- ST

Kitty Hawk NC
 
 
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Speaking from my own personal experience - about a decade ago, I was involved with a gal who enjoyed hearing me speak of fantasy of inviting a mutual friend of ours over.....for some fun.....

Over the course of several weeks when we were in bed together, I could tell she was sorta getting "into it" when I would talk about inviting Him over for a shared evening. This sorta fantasy talk carriend on until one evening I actually took the initiative and called him up by phone & "we both" invited Him over to my place for some drinks, etc.......

He had no idea what the GF & I were thinking/planning that evening....but after arriving and having just another night of "normal" socializing.....we brought it up to him.....of course, he couldnt turn the opportunity down....

We had a fantastice evening in the sack. It was obvious she enjoyed it....He enjoyed it and I loved being a participant in the MFM thingy...

However, I didnt "surprise" her. I took it upon myself to speak about it on occasions when it was just the two of us. When it was obvious she seemed receptive to the idea - then I took the action.

Of course, your wife may not have an issue with being surprised in the sack....to each their own.

Bee Caves TX
 
 
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"would like to know if this is a fantasy I should keep to myself or make happen."

Call me crazy, but the wife might have a better opinion about this than anyone in the forums. Good luck.

Belle Chasse LA
 
 
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TOPIC: Good Friend