Erotic and Esoteric Impressions and Illusions : Swingers Discussion 177490
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TOPIC: Erotic and Esoteric Impressions and Illusions
Created by: Z_Z_Krewe
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Here at an internet cafe I can use a laptop computer and write to express myself while enjoying the view of the Gulf of Mexico while sipping a white desert wine. My career has taken me here after years of yearning and planning. Thoughts both erotic and esoteric compete for my expression.

Why did I agree to attend my first swinging party? My conscience seems to ask, but it could be the internal voice of my mother, the wine, or the ocean breeze. None of my brothers is involved in a swinging lifestyle, nor my sister. Why me? Was it the erotic imagination that came from viewing my brothers' Playboy and Penthouse magazines and hoping, wishing to be like those alluring females? Who really needs to know the answer? I wanted to be liked by the boys in my class, and had thoroughly convincing romantic day fantasies while learning in English language skills, writing essays and giving reports.

After that came cosmetology school, and the freedom of being able to choose my own clothes, makeup styles, hair styles, and sexual interests. Regina somehow discovered and exploited that. At first she came for hair care, and then made an employment offer. She enticed me into the adult hospitality industry. That is an entire story my mother and sister did not know about me. Why was I different? Is that how porn starlets begin? I know a few dancers who went away to California after working at the Cheetah Club in Chicago, and a few who worked at the Lake Geneva resort club of the Hefner empire at that time.

All these questions that my day time mind silently asks seem to require some kind of esoteric explanation. Doctor Sandra tells me it is my hormone imbalance, but I don't like her answer. That explains the chemicals of my body's mind, but not the excitement of arousal and passionate encounters. My sexual satisfaction has a mind of its own apart from hormone activity, that other part of my body's mind tells me. My day time fantasies just occur, they just float in my head. That phantom of my day time opera lives inside my mind. Those two-act dramas involve two men, three men, none of them needing to be my husband; one other female, sometimes lez, sometimes bi, sometimes straight. Whenever the thoughts float into my mind, they want expression. Sometimes I can disclose them; sometimes they must remain secrets. Sometimes we act them out in our encounters.

Here I am then, part of an internet social group for swingers. Why did I agree to join? Why do I write this in a blog today? I have read other members revealing their fantasies, and have written one or two myself before now. Yet I seem to be searching for someone to help me understand. Another female. A female who writes erotic notes, letters, blogs, maybe even books. Or could it be that another man would like to engage in conversation about these day time fantasies without any expectation of expecting me to have an encounter.

My day time fantasy today was about sexual submission to another female, an experienced femme. Could this be just a memory of my relationship with Regina from long ago, or is it something I am being asked to explore again by inspiration of an esoteric 'watcher,' a sensual voyeur who lives inside my mind?

Soon my toes will be in the sand and I will walk to the shoreline and wade into the waves. It is a beautiful sensation, a wonderful afternoon, with incredible erotic and esoteric undulations coaxing me to consider their pleasures.


Treasure Is FL
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TOPIC: Erotic and Esoteric Impressions and Illusions