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both new to this and are interested where and how do we start : Swingers Discussion 109472
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TOPIC: both new to this and are interested where and how do we start
Created by: ohhboy46 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Strange to me that no one suggested reading a book or two on the subject. I agree with meeting people with lots of experience is a very good thing. However by reading a couple of the books you have a better feel for that they teach you and something to bounce what they say aginst.

Before I will mentor anyone i require that they read at least "Screw the roses, send me the thorns" or any of the other great books out there.

Rialto CA
 
 
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There are established BDSM groups in just about every major city. You may have to look around some, but I would suggest doing what a previous entry said and get to be friends with an experienced couple and have them mentor you in the lifestyle. Join a local group and go to their munches. Thats a good place to meet the local people, get to know them all in a vanilla-social environment, then go to the lifestyle events they plan. Here we have a place called "Sanctuary," we meet on the 4th friday of every month at a restaurant and have dinner, then go from there to the dungeon. At the dungeon, a demonstration of some featured subject is demonstrated and Masters/Mistresses get a chance to try out different things with their slaves/subbies in a group environment. I'm sure that where you live, you'll be able to find something similar. Just don't give up, keep reading and looking. Good luck!

Paris TX
 
 
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SOMEONE in or near Detroit HELP! She really wants to learn the basics of B&D from a patient experienced fem dom so she can decide if she wants to go further in the lifestyle. We have played around with it a bit but she needs instruction, and someone to show her the "right" way to do things and the "right" words to use so she doesn't feel "silly" or "bad" saying things or being in command. and most of all a Mistress that can be there with her until she starts to feel comfortable letting that side of her come out and play any time and not feel the shame that the world pushes on a woman that takes charge of life and more over her own sexuality! HELL! I'm just a lowly male sub-e and i even feel it! So if this sounds like you go to our profile and send us an e mail plzzz!

well thanks for taking the time to read this hopefully soon to be happy hubby sub-bey's plea for help and knowledge, our soon to be Mistress instructor..we hope!

FemWolf&I-ZOMBIE

Lake Orion MI
 
 
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Responding to the original poster... since you live within driving distance to Philadelphia, you may want to check out the monthly Fetish Party at the Pleasure Garden. They hold this event on the first Wednesday of every month. See their website in the Clubs section for more information.

The nice thing about this event is you can ease into it and meet some potential friends and playmates with similar interests.

R & M

Hagerstown MD
 
 
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the best way to experiemnt is under the supervision of an experienced couple. The dom will show you how to stretch the limit but not pass it. THE sub will show your subservient half how to explain what they like and do not like. Also when to say no and how to stop sessions which are not exciting and enjoyable

Hamburg PA
 
 
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Ok I am new to this too, but learning quick. Posting questions on a forum is a good place to staret.

Personally I boaght a few toys and dove right in. But I also read a few great books in no certain order:

The loving Dom The New Topping book (companion The new bottoming book) Masters Manuel S&M 101 The erotic bondage hand book

You see my partner is a lot more experienced and I have some catching up to do. These are great books. Also see if there are any S&M groups that meet in your area, they have workshops support groups etc..

Hope that helps from one newbie to another. M

East Elmhurst NY
 
 
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BDSM is art. Find someone who understands it to get you started. Many things in BDSM are like magic tricks, if you do them right the audience applauds wildly, wrong and people get hurt.

Phoenix AZ
 
 
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TOPIC: both new to this and are interested where and how do we start