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Worth : Swingers Discussion 163731
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TOPIC: Worth
Created by: ohmysugar
Original Starting post for this thread:
A favorite quote follows. How do you feel on both sides about what it expresses? To have someone give you control of their bodies and minds, to be entrusted with the responsibility to take care of them, to have someone willing to suffer for you, to forsake pride and dignity to please you... what other gift in this world can possibility equate to that? And more importantly, what makes you worthy to receive it?
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P.S. My posting history can be followed. I stand by it*

joan*

Mantoloking NJ
 
 
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Bad? nahhh... I tend to be polite, optimistic and try to be helpful. Some folks just hate that : )

I do not think there is "one" right way. IF the dynamics of your relationship works for you and yours, whose to say its wrong. V and I are eternally happy.. nothing gets in the way of that.

When I was younger, and didn't know as much, I always gravitated towards strong, dominant men. If a man was wishy washy with me, I lost interest and had no sexual attraction. And if that wishy washy man was pushy? Id probably Dom and humiliate him. I didn't understand why then. It was just how it was. I learned more. I learned about myself. I learned what I needed to be happy and content. I found it.. the rest is history : )

Enjoy your day, joan*

Mantoloking NJ
 
 
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The thing I enjoy the most about the bdsm model is the perspectives. There are scores of interpretations of the same dynamic. Since my subs tend to come from high end academic or upscale professional backgrounds their life is full of structure and processes as mine is. In my 24-7 structure I require a process that places an emphasis on the seriousness of being under my authority and how valuable I see an s-type to invest the energy to prepare to serve. This is bigger than sex for me,being the Head of a poly household. I train my subs....that "they chose to serve,and can chose to leave."

Kensington MD
 
 
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Well put @ Joan I like!

Kensington MD
 
 
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Great post* Most subs I know are very strong, independent women. As most subs I know are female. You couldn't take or buy their submission, it must be given or maybe even earned.

I think whatever works for you, go for it*

joan*

Mantoloking NJ
 
 
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IMO it is the highest honor to be given the authority over an s-type's being. It is given as it should be a very rational process that enables an s-type to trust the leadership,experience and care of a D-type especially in a LTR.

Many suggest that owning/collaring is of a higher relational level than traditional vanilla marriage is as invented by western culture

Kensington MD
 
 
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Sexus ~ Thank you! That's how I felt the first time I read it. Why I couldn't articulate it, I have no idea. Maybe b/c it struck me so deeply, as oppposed to most BDsM quotes that are floating around.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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the worth in receiving such a gift lies in love and trust, true forms of both words. It's not so much that you "deserve" such a gift, but that you are the type of person deemed worthy by your nature, by your integrity. How worthy would that be if you take such a gift and abuse it and the person from whom it is received?

Good quotes. Good post. Good way to make us think about what it really means. Not many people "get it" that it isn't about being handcuffed or flogged, or wearing fetish garb. It is a gift of yourself.

G.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Awhile back I had a really interesting conversation about different thoughts on power and control being taken vs. given and how it works for different people. I know that I journalled about it. I'll have to dig it up

My recollection ~ and it's been awhile ~ was that some Dom's aggressively take, some say "Give me" and others do actually want to have it given to them without asking and all that works depending on their style and to a much lesser degree the type of sub they are involved with or getting involved with. Of course, the lines blur and it can all be interpretted in different ways off the page.

It was just a cool conversation after spending an evening w/ a couple that has a totally different dynamic b/w than we do.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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Hmmmm... I think I'm looking at it from a little different perspective.

Of course, all people are worthy of love and respect. (Maybe not mine, but someones. LOL!)

And I really do love the perspective on what you *do* with it ~ and that's tied to how I see it. It's not just a matter of being the right person, it's continuing to be the right person. It's a very introspective quote to me.

This exhange that we embrace requires ongoing effort, just as a marriage or a committed relationship does and it's an extra layer to that.

And since I was PWI, I was also thinking of a few guys that I've dated that just decided to show up and try to play Dom one day. LMAO!

New Orleans LA
 
 
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TOPIC: Worth