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When were you born : Swingers Discussion 163283
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TOPIC: When were you born
Created by: RickNKat The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Back from my little road trip.

All I have to say is WOW, what an eye opener for this guy. Deanna, and I will both sit down tonight and review the responses here. All are on the same path to find ones self first and foremost, before assuming anything.

Please hit me up off the board with links that you would find helpful to us both.

One thing I have noticed about our relationship is how insanely alike we are in our thinking. We tend to push to see who's in charge at any given moment and sometimes that has led to fierce wrestling matches and tickle fests.

We are best friends and the line gets blurred when trying to establish dominance.

If we weren't such good natured people to each other, we might be able to clear that line up a bit. We hardly ever say "no" to one another, so I can see a hurdle approaching.

I really appreciate all of your support in helping me figure out my roll in this.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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D/s extends beyond bedrooms and relationships. My subs have been PhDs but you would never see them being disrespectful to ANYONE that doesn't disrespect them first. I train mine to remain humble,brilliant and sexy and I'll take care of everything else.

Kensington MD
 
 
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The bdsm dynamic is known to also have a poly dynamic as well. I did an interview in oct 09 called "misconceptions of polyamory" while I was in LA. I'll send u the link. In reality, you can have any dynamic that pleases you in these lifestyles.

Kensington MD
 
 
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LMAO! No ~ there's no way I can be in a relationship, be the dominant one and be happy. Dominants take pleasure in dominating. When I have the upperhand, I don't enjoy it. And sexually? I can be aggressive at times, like most everyone, submissive or not, but I don't like that to be anywhere near my primary role.

New Orleans LA
 
 
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I see many concepts being used naively. It is possible to be entirely submissive. A submissive does have choices not to be confused with a slave...whose ONLY choice was to be a slave. @ ohmy describes a "switch" A switch is s type at times and D type at other times and is comfortable in either dynamic.

Kensington MD
 
 
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Well stated and congrats to you both! You appear to be terrific people

Kensington MD
 
 
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"Whenever you hear: I'm submissive (error corrected *wink*) to only one, know this, it's a facade for "I'm submissive for as long as I like it! and I'll kick your ass the minute that I don't want to be submissive". Around here we call it the spoiled bottom who's top is about serving the bottom, and not the other way around :)."

I see what you're saying above. The *last* thing that most men that I've been involved with would describe me a is submissive. I've been called an emasculating bitch or something to the effect more than a few times and I can't say that those who said it were wrong. I *will* walk all over a man if he lets me ~ and then I'll be disgusted with him for it. Before my first Dom and i even started dating he said, I thought jokingly, that I'd chew up and spit out any man that couldn't control me. I thought he was joking b/c I couldn't imagine anyone controlling me. I *am* a brat. I *am* a sassy pain in the ass. I *will* tell a man to make his own damn sandwich. And twice I've found men that I wouldn't dream of being that way with. Absolutely not. No choice about it. It's just how it was. Has that brat still been in me? Indeedy ~ and I love nothing more than when a man quiets that. I may be twisted in admitting that, but I need a man stronger willed than I am, plain and simple. I've found two. I've never been a bratty sub. I *love* to serve and spoil. Only with a Dominant, tho. If topping from the bottom was even a possibility, it wouldn't be D/s to me.

Back to sa ~ sorry, baby! ;) I think that I kind of round about answered part of your question above. I don't think that how we are in our professional or family lives dictates if we are Dom or sub. Sometimes it's in line, sometimes people need to be on the other side of it ~ think the stereotypical Fortune 500 CEO going to a Domme. I thnk that what you enjoy *is* innate, but I think that there's no time table to discovering it. Keep experimenting and researching and you'll find your niche!

New Orleans LA
 
 
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Anytime Rik I'll inbox you. I think a major pitfall can be not balancing nature & nurture. It may be "natural" to be a D type or s type but is also vital to have the dynamics nurtured by learning from within & without.

Kensington MD
 
 
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@SA if interested I have some absolutely terrific books on the topic ...let me know if you're ever interested.

Kensington MD
 
 
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@ SA I know of many hitmem & hitwomen for Uncle that D/s has been a natural fit for. Often the brain chemistry changes with ones environment. Scientifically we call this the theory of adaptability. As Seduction has said in another thread the opposite can occur. The burden of certain alpha vocational burdens can lead to a desire to surrender.

I would recommend a mentor. i was fortunate many years ago to meet three D types that educated me to the expected protocols & etiquettes associated with bdsm.

Kensington MD
 
 
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TOPIC: When were you born