Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions BDSM Turning into Hubby's Whore
TOPIC: Turning into Hubby's Whore
GoTo Page: 1 2
Start   11 to 14 of 14 
User Details are only visible to members.
There is a reason why men with only minimal knowledge about D/s want to be doms. Their understanding of what being a dominant is goes only as far as being able to tell the sub what to do. In their minds, this translates into having sex any time they want, being able to have it any way they want, and what I'll call the "big game bonus." When the dom wants to watch the big game on TV, he can sit on the couch and tell the sub to bring him beer and chips and dip whenever he runs out and not to bother him otherwise. That sounds pretty damn good!

The problem is that very few subs see that as the ideal relationship, so they don't stick around very long.

What these wannabee doms don't understand is that they're responsible for everything that happens in a session. If the sub doesn't enjoy it, it's the dom's fault. If the dom didn't enjoy it, that's his fault too. It takes a lot of effort to be a good dom, and particularly the ability to know what the sub is feeling both physically and mentally. That's a far cry from hollaring for more chips and dip.

Some of the wannabees partially get this, they don't want to hurt the sub, and they've gone to the Alan Alda sensitivity school and know what a woman is supposed to want. So they're fine with being "dom" as long as they don't have to dominate.

The bottom line is that there are always going to be a lot more wannabee doms than real ones. If you're a sub and want a real dom, it would be wise to spend much more time than you'd like on getting to know him.

Kitty Hawk NC
Username hidden
(271 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"We met a guy that just didnt look the "aggressive part" . Mild mannered and somewhat quiet in public. Very attractive but just didnt look like he was the aggressive type."

Eventually you will begin to know what to look for. Bravado-never. Quiet self confidence-always.

Best of luck to you

East Fishkill NY
Username hidden
(3613 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Just read your profile and while it does mention your preferences, you could be more clear and make those preferences REQUIREMENTS.

For a while we were only into bi friendly guys. We had no interest in straight guys at all. So we made it very clear that bi friendly was REQUIRED, NO EXCEPTIONS.

Even with that we had guys who would say they were into it but then figure they could get around that once we were together.

So we added.....AGAIN NO EXCEPTIONS AND NO FAKERS. DUE TO LIARS, SHE WILL BE RIGHT THERE READY TO GO, BUT WILL NOT TOUCH YOU UNTIL THE GUYS GET STARTED. YOU WILL HAVE A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH BEFORE A TIT.

That seemed to work. And thats how we did things for a while. We have since changed that up because, ive started getting turned on by taking more of a passive (watching) role and dont always join in. So we're a little more flexible with guys.

But in the end, no matter what you say in your profile or what you say in conversation.....You wont know until you're there.

Some of the biggest "dirty talkers" and ones who sounded so aggressive and dominant online that my wife was almost intimidated to meet were the shyest most passive in person.

Yet our last experience was the opposite. We met a guy that just didnt look the "aggressive part" . Mild mannered and somewhat quiet in public. Very attractive but just didnt look like he was the aggressive type.

Took him home and it was like a switch flipped. Rocked my wife like nobody we ever met. Had the best "single male" experience to date.

So you just cant tell

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Thats tough. While we're not into the "scene"....yet......

My wife likes someone who is dominant. By that I mean "take control"

A lot of our experience has been with newer or shy guys who end up naked on the bed laying there like "here i am, what now?" and basically just ends up being a lot of work and a lousy experience for her.

She likes a guy that when they walk into the bedroom, takes charge, and rocks her world.

One that "knows what he wants and goes for it"

So we put that in our profile, and also make that pretty known in chat. So far so good. Our last couple experiences have been what she was looking for.

There is no way to tell for sure but it doesnt hurt to make it VERY clear thats how you want to play.

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2
Start   11 to 14 of 14 
TOPIC: Turning into Hubby's Whore