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The fallibility of dominance and how submission is manifest : Swingers Discussion 41656
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsBDSMThe fallibility of dominance and how submission is manifest
TOPIC: The fallibility of dominance and how submission is manifest
Created by: mischiefnyou
Original Starting post for this thread:
The fallibility of dominance. I want a dominant who is dominant enough to admit his mistakes, weaknesses, and knows when to ask for help. I had a Mentor who knew one act didn't change his dominance. Immediately used the words. "I made a mistake."

He accidently cut my throat. I knew he cut it. I didn't react. It was a dermal cut nothing serious. When he saw the blood, his first words were.. "I made a mistake." I didn't mind. He said he failed by not checking out how sharp it was. Laughter.. I always have sharp knives. Put 12 hour nose spray on it. No more red mark to explain.

How do dominants control their submissives?

-Do they need a heavy hand or a strong voice? -Do they need to always be ON? -Can they take as well as give? -Is dominance defined by only the submissive providing service to the dom/me? -Do I need to capitalize His name while using lowercase with mine? -Is he less of a dominant if he’s not known by Lord, Sir, Master, or any of the other monikers some use?

The answer to any rigid question is always NO.

My Mentor was dominant in his bones, just like I am.. His control of me was near total. How did that control manifest? Was my ability to interact with other doms restricted? Could I play with other doms/bottoms? Could I only speak with his permission? Did I need permission to go places, have sex, play with bottoms, talk with/play with doms?

I realized that his dominance and my submission paralleled the way I treat close subs/bottoms. I have only one real limit with those close subs I play with. I want to know who, where, and when. It’s for the same reason, too. Safety of the sub.

The reason he had control? He earned it. With the skill of a surgeon’s knife, J earned my respect. His control was manifest by my near total attention when I was with him. I trusted him with my life (psychological/physical). I was required to have doms I bottomed to gain his permission. There was only one reason for that permission. He wanted to make sure I was safe. He wanted a report to verify that my behavior pleased the dom in question.

I had no other restrictions, never wore a collar, and had no need for one. I was virtually bound to him. No outward manifestation of my respect, submission, caring was needed. He and I exchanged power without all the black leather, titles, toys, and other clutter of the lifestyle.

We danced. He taught me. I was humbled that I was deemed worthy to be taught. His lessons are hard, emotionally/mentally painful. Such is as it should be. A good education is never easy.

For the rare person who witnessed it..my submission is an interesting thing, indeed.

What do you do when you make a mistake?

Bifem_top

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Wow, such insight in this forum! very refreshing. I will just add my 2 cents here in that Dominance/submission is a constant learning process, and trust and open communication are the keys!

Eastpointe MI
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(8 posts)
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If werun into any dominant personality that says my way or the highway, we take the highway. A Dom/Domme must realize that this is a constant learning process aand convey that to any sub. Experience brings on confidence and there is a difference between confidence and arrogance.

Center Valley PA
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(9001 posts)
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The fallibility of dominance. I want a dominant who is dominant enough to admit his mistakes, weaknesses, and knows when to ask for help. I had a Mentor who knew one act didn't change his dominance. Immediately used the words. "I made a mistake."

He accidently cut my throat. I knew he cut it. I didn't react. It was a dermal cut nothing serious. When he saw the blood, his first words were.. "I made a mistake." I didn't mind. He said he failed by not checking out how sharp it was. Laughter.. I always have sharp knives. Put 12 hour nose spray on it. No more red mark to explain.

How do dominants control their submissives?

-Do they need a heavy hand or a strong voice? -Do they need to always be ON? -Can they take as well as give? -Is dominance defined by only the submissive providing service to the dom/me? -Do I need to capitalize His name while using lowercase with mine? -Is he less of a dominant if he’s not known by Lord, Sir, Master, or any of the other monikers some use?

The answer to any rigid question is always NO.

My Mentor was dominant in his bones, just like I am.. His control of me was near total. How did that control manifest? Was my ability to interact with other doms restricted? Could I play with other doms/bottoms? Could I only speak with his permission? Did I need permission to go places, have sex, play with bottoms, talk with/play with doms?

I realized that his dominance and my submission paralleled the way I treat close subs/bottoms. I have only one real limit with those close subs I play with. I want to know who, where, and when. It’s for the same reason, too. Safety of the sub.

The reason he had control? He earned it. With the skill of a surgeon’s knife, J earned my respect. His control was manifest by my near total attention when I was with him. I trusted him with my life (psychological/physical). I was required to have doms I bottomed to gain his permission. There was only one reason for that permission. He wanted to make sure I was safe. He wanted a report to verify that my behavior pleased the dom in question.

I had no other restrictions, never wore a collar, and had no need for one. I was virtually bound to him. No outward manifestation of my respect, submission, caring was needed. He and I exchanged power without all the black leather, titles, toys, and other clutter of the lifestyle.

We danced. He taught me. I was humbled that I was deemed worthy to be taught. His lessons are hard, emotionally/mentally painful. Such is as it should be. A good education is never easy.

For the rare person who witnessed it..my submission is an interesting thing, indeed.

What do you do when you make a mistake?

Bifem_top

Glen Burnie MD
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(2783 posts)
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TOPIC: The fallibility of dominance and how submission is manifest