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The BDSM Mental Game : Swingers Discussion 39514
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TOPIC: The BDSM Mental Game
Created by: mischiefnyou
Original Starting post for this thread:
>We've all probably heard that the mind is the greatest toy of all. But how does everyone employ it?

My Mentor placed hypnotic ques and used guided imagery very early on. He didn’t tell me he was doing this. I knew the techniques. I waited to see how he would use these tools. Once I was sure that his intentions were benevolent, I bought into their use, totally. He uses these tools to soothe, relax, or place me in a holding pattern.

When topping women, I talk to them...constantly. I tell them... -What they are going to do for me. -How they are going to expose themselves. -I’m going to use them for my pleasure. -I incorporate a strength move with the talk. I grab their nape hair. Push them into a wall or onto the floor. -I look into their eyes..Let my eyes wander down their body. -I blatantly assess their body. -I speak very close to their ear...using a non-negotiating, firm voice.

>It could be subspace, or fear-play, or a sense of total helplessness, or whatever.

My Mentor used fear play. He told me everything we are going to do. What I need to get ready for it. Clothing, extra equipment...etc. I had major anxiety attacks the night before we play. The basis for the fear? I know we were going to do exactly what he said. He always picked scenes custom fit to freak me out, push my limits off the charts...etc. He’s a mean, emotionally sadistic, bastard. I hate/love him for it.

I use sex play when topping women. I use appropriate strength, pain. I tend to use my mouth and hands to give pain. Tools, except knives keep me too far away. I use their clothing as bondage material or to stimulate them. I use blindfolds for women I play with often. Generally I want them to see my face, eyes, power. I do point, counter-point. Pleasure, pain, pleasure, pain. I love to walk that yellow-to almost RED line.

>Is it just things the Dom/me says?

Just???What the dom says? Women RESPOND to words whispered in their ear.

>Is it physical actions like hair pulling, rough or gentle handling, positioning the sub's body...??? Is it the surroundings? Is it all in how the scene gets started?

All of these things matter less. I have topped women in loud, packed, dungeons. I’m sure they knew of nothing except what was going on between us. Why? Because I grabbed their mind. I topped women with business cards, a candy wrapper...you name it. It’s not the tool...It’s the mind behind it.

Bifem_Top<–a psychonaut from the 70's

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Constant communication, before, during and after is the key. That brings about trust. You can not enjoy this without communication and trust.

Center Valley PA
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(9008 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
>We've all probably heard that the mind is the greatest toy of all. But how does everyone employ it?

My Mentor placed hypnotic ques and used guided imagery very early on. He didn’t tell me he was doing this. I knew the techniques. I waited to see how he would use these tools. Once I was sure that his intentions were benevolent, I bought into their use, totally. He uses these tools to soothe, relax, or place me in a holding pattern.

When topping women, I talk to them...constantly. I tell them... -What they are going to do for me. -How they are going to expose themselves. -I’m going to use them for my pleasure. -I incorporate a strength move with the talk. I grab their nape hair. Push them into a wall or onto the floor. -I look into their eyes..Let my eyes wander down their body. -I blatantly assess their body. -I speak very close to their ear...using a non-negotiating, firm voice.

>It could be subspace, or fear-play, or a sense of total helplessness, or whatever.

My Mentor used fear play. He told me everything we are going to do. What I need to get ready for it. Clothing, extra equipment...etc. I had major anxiety attacks the night before we play. The basis for the fear? I know we were going to do exactly what he said. He always picked scenes custom fit to freak me out, push my limits off the charts...etc. He’s a mean, emotionally sadistic, bastard. I hate/love him for it.

I use sex play when topping women. I use appropriate strength, pain. I tend to use my mouth and hands to give pain. Tools, except knives keep me too far away. I use their clothing as bondage material or to stimulate them. I use blindfolds for women I play with often. Generally I want them to see my face, eyes, power. I do point, counter-point. Pleasure, pain, pleasure, pain. I love to walk that yellow-to almost RED line.

>Is it just things the Dom/me says?

Just???What the dom says? Women RESPOND to words whispered in their ear.

>Is it physical actions like hair pulling, rough or gentle handling, positioning the sub's body...??? Is it the surroundings? Is it all in how the scene gets started?

All of these things matter less. I have topped women in loud, packed, dungeons. I’m sure they knew of nothing except what was going on between us. Why? Because I grabbed their mind. I topped women with business cards, a candy wrapper...you name it. It’s not the tool...It’s the mind behind it.

Bifem_Top<–a psychonaut from the 70's

Glen Burnie MD
Username hidden
(2783 posts)
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TOPIC: The BDSM Mental Game