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Swinging and BDSM : Swingers Discussion 1544131041
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TOPIC: Swinging and BDSM
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You can see her in just about anything by visiting her profile pix ;)

Not that I have spend hours gazing fondly her her wonderful figure. No, not all...

Brea CA
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I can totally see you in a blinged out choker!

New Orleans LA
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I was on a bdsm/leather/bondage site friday night and saw the most darling black collar with 3 rows of rhinestones. It is just gorgeous. I love chokers.

San Marcos TX
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Completely private just isn't an option. He enjoys sharing me very much, which doesn't always mean that there's an obvious D/s thing going on, but that certainly can be what it is in certain situations. It makes him happy and proud. I enjoy it. So, it works.

I'm not running around in a leather collar or anything like that, tho I do have public collars that I wear quite a bit. One is a pretty pearl and silver choker that people who know, recognize it for what it is, but that I get a lot of compliments on from people that don't.

We certainly aren't "that BDsM couple" at the club, tho. LOL!!

New Orleans LA
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Our D/D (Dominant Dominated) is intensely private, we rarely if ever show a glimpse of it."

THANK YOU!!! Thank you. THIS is the truth.

San Marcos TX
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"Yeah, do not mention true bdsm to swingers. Most I have talked with are okay with roleplay and things like light bondage...but you start talking about being topped and either they will be curious or offended."

We *know* that we play harder than a lot of people do and that's why we don't generally have much cross-over. People seem to be more interested in the D/s aspect w/ us ~ probably b/c once they ask about what we like as far as play and realize that it's *not* fuzzy handcuffs, that's out the window. The Dom/sub control thing seems to fascinate them, tho. LOL!

New Orleans LA
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I sensed a bit of the "rift" between swingers and BDSM'ers some weeks ago when I began to investigate further."

HAHAHA. Yeah, do not mention true bdsm to swingers. Most I have talked with are okay with roleplay and things like light bondage...but you start talking about being topped and either they will be curious or offended.

San Marcos TX
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Interesting topic. Mr. SKE writing here.

I have had yearnings to explore submissive feelings for a while. The Mrs. tried, but it wasn't her cup of tea. Not that she dislikes it, in fact, kind of enjoyed whipping me (I am a bit of a pain slut). But she couldn't get into the role, which is so important (to me at least) to the whole scene.

Through evolution, I found avenues to explore my submissive side. Out of courtesy to SLS, I won't mention the site, but there I was able to post a personal ad looking for a Dominant Mistress. I hooked up with a Domme who is part of a performance troupe that puts on scenes at clubs in Hollywood (CA). My relationship with this Domme is non-sexual: it is not her thing. Mrs SKE is happy that I have found a situation that makes me happy. She comes along to most of the performances and has a great time (although last weekend was really the epitome of the fact that we are swingers: we, as a happily married couple, were going to see my mistress; each of us might have been bringing a date [my date was not able to make it], and Mrs. SKE's date was ALSO bringing a date).

However, BDSM is not something we incorporate into our swinging. We have a group that we meet up with once a month for a hotel party. The hostess of this party is a sub and other than our once-a-year "Kinko de Mayo" party, BDSM never comes up.

I would like to experience a sexual Domme/sub relationship at some point, but I am happy with my life right now.

The people we have met through the BDSM lifestyle have been SUPER nice and friendly, which to be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect.

After reading this thread though, I am wondering whether I should remove the reference in it about my being a sub.

Brea CA
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Some books worth reading: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller & Molly Devon, SM 101 by Jay Wiseman, The Control Book by Peter Masters

Pismo Beach CA
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Good call, JandM! Finding an experienced couple would be a great idea. I didn't catch from their first post that they didn't have much experience.

mntn ~ when you do find a couple to show you a scene, don't be afraid to tell them *exactly* what you are interested in and what you aren't. There are so many different ways to play in this arena and so many different intensities. Being specific will make it the best experience that it can be for *all* of you.

As for online resources ~ I agree w/ JandM again. Google away. I peruse subbie websites, but I know that there are sites out there w/ very speciific info for Dom's that cover everything from the emotional/psychological aspect to how long it is safe to engage in certain activities. Those things are *very* important. Talk to as many experienced people as you can, too. Online resources are great, but nothing beats the one on one question and answer exchange with someone that you respect and connect with.

Good luck and have fun ~ and read away!!!

New Orleans LA
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TOPIC: Swinging and BDSM