Swinging and BDSM: Swingers Discussion 154413

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TOPIC: Swinging and BDSM

Created by: Soinloveagain Original Starting post for this thread:
HI! Danny and Leslie here, we are new to SLS but not new to the LS. We have been swinging for a little over a year and we love it, but we are little confused by the bias or discrimination perhaps between swingers and bdsm people. We have been living in a committed D/s relationship for over 17 years, I (Danny) am her dom. I think it's so funny how you hear... "those bdsm people are freaks" or "swinging, that is just gross". This from supposedly sexually liberated, intelligent people. While we are new to SLS we are on another swing site and in our profile we are open about our D/s and you'd be surprised how many women approach us who are curious about D/s. Isn't it a little duplicitious to look down on someone elses kink? We are new here and don't have any friends here yet, check us out!

Created by: Soinloveagain
Original Starting post for this thread:

HI! Danny and Leslie here, we are new to SLS but not new to the LS. We have been swinging for a little over a year and we love it, but we are little confused by the bias or discrimination perhaps between swingers and bdsm people. We have been living in a committed D/s relationship for over 17 years, I (Danny) am her dom. I think it's so funny how you hear... "those bdsm people are freaks" or "swinging, that is just gross". This from supposedly sexually liberated, intelligent people. While we are new to SLS we are on another swing site and in our profile we are open about our D/s and you'd be surprised how many women approach us who are curious about D/s. Isn't it a little duplicitious to look down on someone elses kink? 

We are new here and don't have any friends here yet, check us out!

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User Details are only visible to members.	We agree with that too Jason, we are not talking about the true newbes cause we all was that once and know it can be a bit crazy at time or a lot for others. We are talking about the ones we say one thing just so they can get with us and then they want the sex but than said we really don't do most of that other stuff or there profile says one thing but when you meet it's something else. We meet a lot of awesome couples & singles on sls but we also meet a small amount of fake ass couples on sls just the same. As for the newbes cum we well make you feel right at home in no time lol
Bronx NY			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	oh, and welcome to the forums! :))
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I agree Jason... :)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It seems to me that the most successful approach is to take beginners where they are at and play and teach at their level. What sometimes freaks people out is that we expect newbies to play at an experienced level. The experienced couple should structure play that nurtures a beginners interest. Trust and confidence must grow before any serious play can occur. So maybe we sometimes forget that beginners are just that, and should be approached that way. Sure it takes more time, but when you can nurture a new couple into bdsm, they can be very grateful.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (88 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yes kinddraggon, do get us wrong it's not with every body we do this with, so we can keep our selfs in check if need be and have fun. It's when your around the couples that show boat but look good doing it and you can have fun but when it comes down to the real stuff you said now its like "really" than you find your self in a party of just or most fake couples but you can spot the real ones, but we also have help out couples understand the BDSM fun and a few like it but most would say not for me. So not all the time but so couples once they find out what your into they go into kid mode and need a little team of fake couples that do cookie cut sex and talk about others it has happen to us to find out that at the end it all comes back to bite you on the ass. This is why we love our real couples & singles, cause you guys are open free and some things we my not like to do but cause we real we still love you for it, if all of us think and help and do this we can 100000% weed out the fake couples or singles out, so we all can just have a awesome what every time.
Bronx NY			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to the forums! :) About this "It's very hard to find couples that understand what is about to happen and the role of things we are very hard core so it can be a bit of a downer to play half of your self and have fun vs having fun with a couple(s) that know what the deal is and my very sexy sub with is a cryer & begs you to stop and if you do than its kind of done she will not play with you cause you stop" ---- I understand how hard it must be to find agreeable swing partners, and I see you say that the other couple 'knows what the deal is" but It sounds like they really don't. If it's a bit of a downer for you, it must be a big downer for them! Of course I am assuming they are completely willing but are you sure you're taking the time to teach them how you are and what they will be involved in? ...just wondering :)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Every one must understand that as a D/s couple, what my yes or no is, may be the other couples no or yes and even if that is the case the rules is what was set and you go with them and that's that. But if you find the couple or person that your no's & yes's our the same than its even better, and hat with anything in life. So you hot couples tku for in boxing us and have a D/s BDSM fun. H&a/sub
Bronx NY			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We find that we are a bit much for most couples, we love are swing life and our BDSM life too we have a very D/s relationship when it come to the sex part in our life's. It's very hard to find couples that understand what is about to happen and the role of things we are very hard core so it can be a bit of a downer to play half of your self and have fun vs having fun with a couple(s) that know what the deal is and my very sexy sub with is a cryer & begs you to stop and if you do than its kind of done she will not play with you cause you stop lol but we did find a couple that we go all in and it's awesome when we do and it's so hot as to.... You just got to be there to understand. H&a/sub
Bronx NY			Username hidden (8 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We are definitely new to the D/s side of life. Some very insightful information in these forums. We look forward to reading more and have 2 books on order that have been recommended in the threads.
Albuquerque NM			Username hidden (827 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	PABD, welcome to the forums! :) we are new to the LS and don't have much advice to give but i am sure you will find MANY others here in the forums will! ...and some may not, so expect that as well. ...my first thought is if you're screen name is turning swingers off from the get go... then you gotta get rid of it! ...consider posting a new thread in the Profile group and get some feedback on spicing up your profile a bit, i do like your honesty but perhaps it could use a little more of some other things and less about bdsm .... you need to get some pics... some body shots at the very least. i know it could be uncomfortable to do, but sooo many people do not even look at profiles without pics ...dont give up, it takes alot of time to develope the lifestyle you are looking for. ...like ALOT of time! LOL ,...good luck to you! Lady K second thought, dont give up just cause its a mess now. give it time
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

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TOPIC: Swinging and BDSM