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Safe Words : Swingers Discussion 39524101
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TOPIC: Safe Words
Created by: Germancple The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I've been playing as a bottom for about 5 years, 3 years in earnest; as a top occasionally for about a year. I've never used a safeword, nor had a bottom use one with me. But I never play without agreeing on one.

It is important, especially with people who don't know each other well, that there be available an unequivocal method for the bottom to say "STOP" if necessary. Some bottoms want to "protest," and it can be hard for a top to know when they really mean it. Some tops are idiots and won't take a hint to back off a little.

I totally agree that this doesn't release the top from responsibility to monitor the situation. There are definitely times when a bottom is so zoned out in subspace that they cannot stop a scene that should be stopped.

Springfield VA
 
 
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Ahhh..BR10..Helped build that dungeon. Being a builder chick..always helps. Put it together in 36 hours. ****** Body fluids. Where swingers and scene folk vary. Scene people are super conscious regarding bodily fluids. Swingers seem not to notice. ********* Agree safe words are not an "out" for irresponsible topping. There are times when a bottom/sub can't SW. The dom must stop the scene.

My Mentor told me to "go". I left and went to my "place" mentally. I was well aware he was beating the crap out of me with a wooden paddle. He would check in, repeatedly. Verifying what my SW was and if I was using it. He finally stopped the scene because I was unable to protect myself.

We used another safe word system when playing with others vanilla or otherwise. If my fingers were spread open, I was ok. If I had my fingers together, I was SWing. This worked well in a very dark room. I shifted my fingers from open to closed while pressed into his back. He knew to stop the scene. The scene was a gang bang. Not something I'm given to do.

I give SWs to everyone I play with. I never intend for them to use them. I stay well below their limits until we know each other. It's a failure in my reading of the situation, if they jump from green to RED. ****** Agree that long term partners don't need them. I only SWed once or twice with my Mentor. This was regarding a scene that was over my limit.

Subchick and I don't use them. I watch her. I KNOW how hard I can bite, spank, and psychologically stimulate her.

Bifem_top.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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Agreed on the blood spraying being usually a no-no... unless the area is designated... the DM forewarned... the clean up materials handy.. and the spray being held to those in scene (similar for scat and golden play). This is why one does edgier stuff in the comfort of their own home.

Phoenix AZ
 
 
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Safe words are unsafe when used by an inexperieinced top. When the top can transfer responsibility to the bottom, they cede their control of the situation and can, and do sometimes, release the beast.

I've stopped more than one scene, as a DM, where the top claimed they hadn't heard the safe word, as the blood spurted and the bottom was so high in flight it would take 30 minutes of experienced aftercare to get them down.

Female tops with male bottoms are the worst. I have seen too many stupid men refuse to utter their safeword, and go unconscious, out of some challenge to "take" whatever she could dish out.

I never play with safewords. A bottom comes to me and after spending an hour or so discussing their medicaI history, I alone assume responsiblilty for the safety of our scene.

Phoenix AZ
 
 
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TOPIC: Safe Words