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Safe Words : Swingers Discussion 200658
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TOPIC: Safe Words
Created by: stgalacouple
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The reason that "stop" often isn't used a safe word is that part of the scene could have the sub/bottom begging to stop: the intensity of the scene of is hightened if the bottom can seemingly beg for mercy and have none granted. A safe word allows for a scene to get to this level yet having a safe way to escape when needed.

The color system works great for us. Also, in those cases where verbalizing is not possible (for example, a ball gag is in use), a physical gesture needs to be readily available.

Remember that everyone's scenes are different. For some, it is as simple as taking someone over your knee for a spanking for which simply saying "stop" might work. For others, a full dungeon scene where verbal, physical, and mental torture are involved, politely asking your partner to stop may not work. By using "yellow," I am able to communicate to my Domme that this scene is getting close to not working for me without killing the mood completely; "hey, we need to make an adjustment so we can both continue to be in this." I've never had to use "red" (and I think I've only used yellow once or twice).

Brea CA
 
 
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If a bottom wants to stop everything, saying "stop" works perfect. If she she wants to slow down, saying "slow down" is easy to understand... no need for code words, unless you are including some sort of coercive roleplay in your scene.

Safe words are great, but I think a top still needs to take responsibility for being in tune and not going too far. Some bottoms won't use safe words when maybe they should.

The "scale of one to ten" idea is something very familiar to most. I use a ten scale when I am exploring edges with a new playmate, to get feedback about where she is. I say "ten scale" and she gives me a number -1 through 10- to let me know how close she feels to her limit - 10 says she feels she is at the max she can handle.

Pismo Beach CA
 
 
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We tried out several different safe words, but then came up with a simple solution. The word yellow mean slow down things are getting a little intense. The word red means stop immediately and completely. This is easy to remember, and it's almost idiot proof as most people are already familiar with slow and stop for yellow and red respectively.

Bristol PA
 
 
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lol...yeah well maybe that is what makes me so specail!

Most all of my play, including restraint and D/s play involves having multiple guys, each bearing (baring?) one cock. Hence, multiple cocks.

;^D

Poland OH
 
 
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Andy,

Multiple cocks eh?

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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CockS How many do you have hiding in those shorts of yours?

Augusta NJ
 
 
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My middle finger is normally in use and she can feel free to use whatever fingers she wants to signal with but her hands are usually wrapped around cocks.

Poland OH
 
 
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What would the middle finger mean ;)~

Augusta NJ
 
 
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What!

No middle finger? :)

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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I have used red and yellow as well and they are always easy to remember and their nmeanings are instantly clear. As a change of pace, I suggested using banana and cherry once but we decided that would just make us laugh.

For some play we also use hand signals. One finger = yellow, two fingers = red.

Poland OH
 
 
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TOPIC: Safe Words