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Protocol Etiquette : Swingers Discussion 165894
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TOPIC: Protocol Etiquette
Created by: SUBSparadise
Original Starting post for this thread:
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A protocol is formalized agreed upon way of interacting. Usually a protocol is written, but whether oral or written, a protocol is immediately verifiable by experience. It is a code of behavior, a precedence, and procedure for interaction.

In D/s relationships protocol is set by the D, most often in consultation with the s. Protocol defines what is expected both ways, and lets the s know they are in obedience. A written household protocol provides consistency.

Pismo Beach CA
 
 
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Thanks Kat, Both for the compliment and summing up my thoughts so succinctly. My girl always says that once I get started with my mouth it just won't stop...

Round Rock TX
 
 
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Protocol in the BDSM world would refer mostly to the rules of engagement for the scenario. For instance, at a party it is typically required by the host that there is no blood play for instance. Another protocol might be that if you are playing in certian areas that you are open to observation and play for others.

Etiquette on the other hand would be more rules for communication. For instance, no one should ever address a submissive directly without gaining the pemission of their master. It is also common etiquette to ask or gain permission of a D to play with their s in a fashion that has not been expressly granted to that point (i.e. it is not ok for you to bend a sub over and have sex with her if her Dom only told her to blow you.)

Round Rock TX
 
 
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most of my understanding of protocol involves communicating with people of different cultures, where you want to adapt in order not to offend. The etiquette of that would pertain more to things like handshakes, personal space, etc.

In swinging, protocol dictates that "the woman is in charge" (which I don't always subscribe to that), so the etiquette involved here pertains to not offending the woman.

Personally, protocol in swinging with strangers, for me, means that if you are a single male, you have to have a rapport with my husband as well as with me. Etiquette would be to effectively include him in conversation, plans, etc., and NOT just hover around me when he goes to get a drink or steps out for a smoke, and then avoid us when he returns. That has happened on two occasions, and when I was not interested in one of the cases, the man said I was racist instead of asking why I was not interested in him. Which is also why he looked rather surprised later to find me in the middle of about 4 attractive black men who knew the proper etiquette to match the desired protocol. They complimented me in front of my husband and got the "go ahead" from him.

It's a vague line, but I understand what you're getting across here. Thanks for this well thought out post.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Unless i overlooked it I didnt see this as a recent thread topic. If so, pardon the redundance.

I was recently asked to share on the topic and here are a few blurbs....some from the wiki coupled with examples from person experience Wiki... “The protocols in human communication are separate rules about appearance, speaking, listening and understanding. All these rules, also called protocols of conversation, represent different layers of communication. They work together to help people successfully communicate.”

Etiquette. “Etiquette is a code of behavior that influences expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.”

Ok, so protocol is a set of rules for communication and etiquette is about behavior. Share some of your examples here for a better understanding of the differences between the two.

Kensington MD
 
 
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TOPIC: Protocol Etiquette