125
Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds : Swingers Discussion 2006661082
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsBDSMMaybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
GoTo Page: Less ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Start   82 to 91 of 105   End
User Details are only visible to members.
Thank you, Sed. As always, makes sense to me now.... it's the difference between "being a submissive", and "being submissive."

Apollo PA
Username hidden
(741 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
When was the last time you opened up a dictionary? if not recently, please do yourself a favor and look up the meaning of the word submissive.

In my experience, people who shout that others shouldn't judge are probably the most judgmental of all. Everybody judges, some of us are just more honest about it.

I stated right off the bat that there is nothing wrong with playing with safe words, most do. There is nothing wrong with thinking that one is submitting and under the control of another even if they're really not.

I told you that we'd have to agree to disagree, but you returned for more. Allow me the same freedoms as you demand for yourself.

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Submissive, meek, obedient, docile.

I am being submissive when husband successfully dominates me. But I am not a submissive.

I still can't get over that bullshit that circulates in the BDSM circles, that submission is a gift! please! keep that gift, it's conditional :).

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I am speaking of control and lack of it, dominance and submission.

B-Bondage D-Discipline S-Sadism M-Masochism

I am not talking about BDSM :). The whips and chains are just tools used by people who are kinky and enjoy them, including those who are into dominant and submissive. The one difference between those who are d/sers and the rest of the BDSMers, is that D/s'ers don't always use all those props. In fact, they can go a lifetime without every touching a flogger or rope etc...

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Sed, as you know i read your posts on this subject and you always make a light bulb go on for me...and it always makes such perfect sense. These posts have been the same as i am reading them, but i do have one question... how do you define a submissive? I think i will "get" everything you are saying if i understand that! Thank you in advance.

Apollo PA
Username hidden
(741 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
It has nothing to do with with general BDSM and everything to do with dominance and submission, which is where the thread has meandered to.

It has nothing to do with Master or slaves or any labels, and everything with logic.

We're talking about dominance and submission. Not a scene, not playing.

Being whipped, blindfolded, tied, gagged (insert your favorite SM activity) is mere play if there is no bending of the will. There is zero submission, zero dominance in such exchanges. That kind of interaction is for the purpose of arousal, consider it foreplay that sometimes leads to sex.

I am a dominant, as is my spouse. Husband though, is by far more dominant than I am, and has been bending my will for over 25 years. I am not a submissive, I am not a bottom, I am dominated.

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Is it really control that the top has if at any given moment the bottom can get up and shout RED? how is it submission if at any time the bottom can take back the control? where exactly was the submission, who's will was bent?

It's ok, it's a common misconception. This is why we don't play with others when it comes to Dominance and submission. When it comes to Ds, for us, it's not play, it's how we live and how we interact with each other, it's who we are.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
You describe a top and bottom interaction. There is zero submission when you are able to give or take control while in a bottom position. There is nothing wrong with it, it's just not dominance nor submission. It's enjoyable play for all who are involved.

Dominant is what you are, a personality, you either have it or you don't. You can not switch it on and off.

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
If one is able to give control, then the one that the control was given to, is not really in control.

Control can not be given. Control is taken, just as submission cannot be conditional. Submission occurs in the face of successful dominance.

Rumson NJ
Username hidden
(16865 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"Sadly you seemed to have missed my point."

Sadly you failed to re-read your own post. Your post was not equivocal at all, you flatly state 'bdsm has negotiations, agreements...etc'. If you did not MEAN that, that's fine, clarify your position. Just don't take ME or anyone else to task for your failure to bring clarity to your own post when I comment on it...

East Fishkill NY
Username hidden
(3613 posts)
GoTo Page: Less ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Start   82 to 91 of 105   End
TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds