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Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds : Swingers Discussion 2006661079
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsBDSMMaybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
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SB perfectly stated, I'm glad that you see what I'm trying to get across, despite the fact that I'm being slandered by a highly emotional woman.

Allenhurst NJ
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Hmmm initially, when you posted that you were being disrespected by men, I believed that you were a victim. After having this exchange with you, watching you descent into a hysteria, attributing things to me that I never said, not even implied makes me question whether it is the men who are in the wrong or actually you are.

Are you accustomed to making things up as you go, or is it just the topic of BDSM that makes you go nuts?

Allenhurst NJ
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BINGO :)

Allenhurst NJ
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Thank you, Sed. As always, makes sense to me now.... it's the difference between "being a submissive", and "being submissive."

Apollo PA
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When was the last time you opened up a dictionary? if not recently, please do yourself a favor and look up the meaning of the word submissive.

In my experience, people who shout that others shouldn't judge are probably the most judgmental of all. Everybody judges, some of us are just more honest about it.

I stated right off the bat that there is nothing wrong with playing with safe words, most do. There is nothing wrong with thinking that one is submitting and under the control of another even if they're really not.

I told you that we'd have to agree to disagree, but you returned for more. Allow me the same freedoms as you demand for yourself.

Allenhurst NJ
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Submissive, meek, obedient, docile.

I am being submissive when husband successfully dominates me. But I am not a submissive.

I still can't get over that bullshit that circulates in the BDSM circles, that submission is a gift! please! keep that gift, it's conditional :).

Allenhurst NJ
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I am speaking of control and lack of it, dominance and submission.

B-Bondage D-Discipline S-Sadism M-Masochism

I am not talking about BDSM :). The whips and chains are just tools used by people who are kinky and enjoy them, including those who are into dominant and submissive. The one difference between those who are d/sers and the rest of the BDSMers, is that D/s'ers don't always use all those props. In fact, they can go a lifetime without every touching a flogger or rope etc...

Allenhurst NJ
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Sed, as you know i read your posts on this subject and you always make a light bulb go on for me...and it always makes such perfect sense. These posts have been the same as i am reading them, but i do have one question... how do you define a submissive? I think i will "get" everything you are saying if i understand that! Thank you in advance.

Apollo PA
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It has nothing to do with with general BDSM and everything to do with dominance and submission, which is where the thread has meandered to.

It has nothing to do with Master or slaves or any labels, and everything with logic.

We're talking about dominance and submission. Not a scene, not playing.

Being whipped, blindfolded, tied, gagged (insert your favorite SM activity) is mere play if there is no bending of the will. There is zero submission, zero dominance in such exchanges. That kind of interaction is for the purpose of arousal, consider it foreplay that sometimes leads to sex.

I am a dominant, as is my spouse. Husband though, is by far more dominant than I am, and has been bending my will for over 25 years. I am not a submissive, I am not a bottom, I am dominated.

Allenhurst NJ
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Is it really control that the top has if at any given moment the bottom can get up and shout RED? how is it submission if at any time the bottom can take back the control? where exactly was the submission, who's will was bent?

It's ok, it's a common misconception. This is why we don't play with others when it comes to Dominance and submission. When it comes to Ds, for us, it's not play, it's how we live and how we interact with each other, it's who we are.

We'll just have to agree to disagree.

Allenhurst NJ
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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds