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Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds : Swingers Discussion 2006661078
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsBDSMMaybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
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" In fact, they can go a lifetime without every touching a flogger or rope etc... "

MrsMuir got a tad cranky a few months ago and said I was not sufficiently dominating her in our sexplay because I was not using enough toys and props. I have not used much of anything since yet i seriously doubt she would think herself 'less dominated' than before. In fact, she most likely believes the opposite now as I made a particular point of reinforcing that.

That being said, don't you think this conversation is wandering rather close to The One Twue Way (TM) Sed? Your view of D/s is as always very strong, very unique and very much YOUR opinion.

There are many 'flavors' of D/s Sed. It would be pretty boring if we were shoehorned into yours, mine or any one's idea of what it should be. Just because YOUR submission must be won at such dramatic measure does not mean it's the same for others. It doesn't even mean it's a majority view.

I can certainly see needing to be dramatically dominated is the honest 'you' though. If I was your husband and you had the 'mouth' you have here I would have you in a 'special' position (sans vocalization) more often than not.

Somehow I suspect that for the most part you behave very well around your husband and save your vitriolic outbursts for this and other forums....

East Fishkill NY
 
 
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SB perfectly stated, I'm glad that you see what I'm trying to get across, despite the fact that I'm being slandered by a highly emotional woman.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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Hmmm initially, when you posted that you were being disrespected by men, I believed that you were a victim. After having this exchange with you, watching you descent into a hysteria, attributing things to me that I never said, not even implied makes me question whether it is the men who are in the wrong or actually you are.

Are you accustomed to making things up as you go, or is it just the topic of BDSM that makes you go nuts?

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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BINGO :)

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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Thank you, Sed. As always, makes sense to me now.... it's the difference between "being a submissive", and "being submissive."

Apollo PA
 
 
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When was the last time you opened up a dictionary? if not recently, please do yourself a favor and look up the meaning of the word submissive.

In my experience, people who shout that others shouldn't judge are probably the most judgmental of all. Everybody judges, some of us are just more honest about it.

I stated right off the bat that there is nothing wrong with playing with safe words, most do. There is nothing wrong with thinking that one is submitting and under the control of another even if they're really not.

I told you that we'd have to agree to disagree, but you returned for more. Allow me the same freedoms as you demand for yourself.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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Submissive, meek, obedient, docile.

I am being submissive when husband successfully dominates me. But I am not a submissive.

I still can't get over that bullshit that circulates in the BDSM circles, that submission is a gift! please! keep that gift, it's conditional :).

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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I am speaking of control and lack of it, dominance and submission.

B-Bondage D-Discipline S-Sadism M-Masochism

I am not talking about BDSM :). The whips and chains are just tools used by people who are kinky and enjoy them, including those who are into dominant and submissive. The one difference between those who are d/sers and the rest of the BDSMers, is that D/s'ers don't always use all those props. In fact, they can go a lifetime without every touching a flogger or rope etc...

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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Sed, as you know i read your posts on this subject and you always make a light bulb go on for me...and it always makes such perfect sense. These posts have been the same as i am reading them, but i do have one question... how do you define a submissive? I think i will "get" everything you are saying if i understand that! Thank you in advance.

Apollo PA
 
 
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It has nothing to do with with general BDSM and everything to do with dominance and submission, which is where the thread has meandered to.

It has nothing to do with Master or slaves or any labels, and everything with logic.

We're talking about dominance and submission. Not a scene, not playing.

Being whipped, blindfolded, tied, gagged (insert your favorite SM activity) is mere play if there is no bending of the will. There is zero submission, zero dominance in such exchanges. That kind of interaction is for the purpose of arousal, consider it foreplay that sometimes leads to sex.

I am a dominant, as is my spouse. Husband though, is by far more dominant than I am, and has been bending my will for over 25 years. I am not a submissive, I am not a bottom, I am dominated.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds