Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds: Swingers Discussion 2006661041

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Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds: Swingers Discussion 2006661041

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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds

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User Details are only visible to members.	Try telling the stranger who raped me at age 17 that he couldn't take what I didn't want to give. Extreme example, but control is control. It is not a gift to be given. Here is my own personal experience with it. I am submissive. I am a submissive. Those are two different things, actually. One is a label, or a noun, or a title; the other describes my personality, is an attribute of my behavior and psyche. Sexual or not. Not sure that I would describe myself as meek, as I can be kind of bitchy. I was married first to a dominant male. He controlled both sexually and materially, emotionally, physically, etc., not only what I did and how I did it, but also where I went and who I was friends with, what job I had and didn't have, etc. I became an abuse survivor. I was also raped byhim. And then, at times, I was very sexually satisfied by him. He controlled, or dominated by force, by demand, by threat, by instilling fear, and so on. He could also be very passionate. How confusing, eh? (more in next post)
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6002 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ghost, Your reading comprehension skills have a problem as of late. Last night you accused VA of things that he hasn't said. Now you're claiming that I am claiming one true way? really? or are you still worked up because I pointed out to you that you are accusing VA of things that he hasn't said? :) At no point, not one time have I said that my way is the ONLY way. I'm pointing out that twisting words to advance your outlook are just that. You can't change the meaning of dominance and submission so that you can feel all cozy and warm about what you do. It's like being a little pregnant, you are either pregnant or not. Furthermore, I went above and beyond to explain my point, while I was being slandered with things that I never uttered. But that's ok, I understand your frustration Ghost. :)
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12218 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	" In fact, they can go a lifetime without every touching a flogger or rope etc... " MrsMuir got a tad cranky a few months ago and said I was not sufficiently dominating her in our sexplay because I was not using enough toys and props. I have not used much of anything since yet i seriously doubt she would think herself 'less dominated' than before. In fact, she most likely believes the opposite now as I made a particular point of reinforcing that. That being said, don't you think this conversation is wandering rather close to The One Twue Way (TM) Sed? Your view of D/s is as always very strong, very unique and very much YOUR opinion. There are many 'flavors' of D/s Sed. It would be pretty boring if we were shoehorned into yours, mine or any one's idea of what it should be. Just because YOUR submission must be won at such dramatic measure does not mean it's the same for others. It doesn't even mean it's a majority view. I can certainly see needing to be dramatically dominated is the honest 'you' though. If I was your husband and you had the 'mouth' you have here I would have you in a 'special' position (sans vocalization) more often than not. Somehow I suspect that for the most part you behave very well around your husband and save your vitriolic outbursts for this and other forums....
East Fishkill NY			Username hidden (2772 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"We'll just have to agree to disagree" - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Wisely said.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (2719 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	SB perfectly stated, I'm glad that you see what I'm trying to get across, despite the fact that I'm being slandered by a highly emotional woman.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12218 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	This is merely an opinion, not intended to offend anyone. There are many differences in the way people view this, but I think that respect is an important component in D/s. It seems to me that when there are two truly dominant individuals involved, that the person being dominated would not feel "truly dominated" unless their Dominant has siezed the control. In the one being dominated's view, he/she are ONLY capable of "submitting to or being dominated by" another Dominant that successfully siezes the power, thereby, making the Dominant "worthy of the dominated one's submission and respect" because the Dom has proven he is truly the Dominant.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (2719 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hmmm initially, when you posted that you were being disrespected by men, I believed that you were a victim. After having this exchange with you, watching you descent into a hysteria, attributing things to me that I never said, not even implied makes me question whether it is the men who are in the wrong or actually you are. Are you accustomed to making things up as you go, or is it just the topic of BDSM that makes you go nuts?
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12218 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	BINGO :)
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12218 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thank you, Sed. As always, makes sense to me now.... it's the difference between "being a submissive", and "being submissive."
Apollo PA			Username hidden (741 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	When was the last time you opened up a dictionary? if not recently, please do yourself a favor and look up the meaning of the word submissive. In my experience, people who shout that others shouldn't judge are probably the most judgmental of all. Everybody judges, some of us are just more honest about it. I stated right off the bat that there is nothing wrong with playing with safe words, most do. There is nothing wrong with thinking that one is submitting and under the control of another even if they're really not. I told you that we'd have to agree to disagree, but you returned for more. Allow me the same freedoms as you demand for yourself.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12218 post)

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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds