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Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds : Swingers Discussion 200666102
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsBDSMMaybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
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I really wasn't apologizing, I was using "sorry" in the sense of pathos as opposed to remorse.

Rosemont IL
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The OP writes: "It can be fun to talk with newbies and offer grounded opinions, but it can also attract a difficult element of drama, forum queens, One Twue Way (TM) proselytizers and frustration of having to function in unmoderated spaces where trolls are allowed, nay encouraged, to begin flame wars over the most minute ideological differences."

Best bet is to completely ignore trolls.

"So, what's left for sites such as SLS, aff or alt in my opinion are the fringes. The newbies. The misfits and outcasts...and of course the slummers...lol."

I'd say there are a lot of hotties on sls who are interested in sexually focused bdsm - both single and married women. I've met and played with a fair number over the years. Some have become long term ongoing relationships that have continued for years.

Pismo Beach CA
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PP - It was not my intent to point fingers or blame. No names were mentioned. I was not looking for an apology although I appreciate the sentiment. Just like to see a little lighter tone.....

Media PA
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playfulcpl140 ...speaking only for myself, I don't believe I personally attacked anyone, at least no one who is present in these fora. I was simply responding to the OP in a constructive way..I am sorry if Jason took offense

Rosemont IL
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Wow - I was amused for a while by the continuing discussion - and I use that word lightly on this subject. I don't know how many others agree, but it has become a bit tiresome. Personal attacks do not advance an argument nor a discussion. I am not accusing anyone of anything as I do not intend to take sides here. Please accept this post in the spirit in which it is given - to lighten up a little and avoid personal attacks.

Media PA
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Jason, you have totally misrepresented what I said, put words in my mouth, and assume things that are totally incorrect. Most importantly, you make it clear by your taking it personally and being hyper sensitive that you totally DO understand what I AM saying and know I am correct, which is why you attempt to build a straw man and claim I am saying things I have not said. Again, the OP presented a BDSM view of why the lifestyle and BDSM are "at odds", I simply gave the Lifestyle perspective. Like it of not Jason, no matter how purist YOUR intentions may be, as I have accurately pointed out many prominent people within your scene are con artists, bullshitters, and frauds (Even YOU don't dare deny it) If you are not among them, your beef is with THEM Jason, not me.

Aside from that, I simply gave you a truthful, accurate view of what the scene looks like to many of those outside it, and even provided published commentary which supports my prospective. You may not agree, you might take offense, but it is what it is. What you claim to find hot and erotic, looks like a role playing board game to others, who find it way to rehearsed and too close to comic book store pseudo wisdom to be arousing.

I am not the first, and by far not the only person to feel this way. The fact is, my views represent the majority of those in the lifestyle. I am just the one with enough integrity to tell the truth about it....like I said, you should be grateful.

Rosemont IL
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PP I was not involved in the event you describe, but you were very willing and able to assume that I was. And you seem to want to assume all bdsm players are like those that you've encountered. It was as if I said you are the prime example of all swingers, and we know you aren't. To stereotype either lifestyle by a very small subset of those players is not useful to either group. You persist in trying to show us what is wrong with out lifestyle and this only shows us how little you know about it. Again it puzzles me why you care what we do and why you seem so determined to prove why your perspective is the only valid point of view.

For those following this thread. I just returned from one of the premier bdsm events in the world. Shibaricon is a weekend event for those who love rope bondage. It is a world class event for people from around the world who share a common interest in all things related to rope. Unlike PP's experience in Chicago, it was a weekend of learning and positive mutual experiences. I encourage those swingers who are interested in bdsm to look into these events and see if they might be right for you. As for me I prefer bdsm events to swinger events. There are many that go on around the country and the world. If you want to learn about bdsm events in your area search online for thebdsmeventspage dot c*m and or fetlife dot c*m for people, groups and events in your area.

If you want to learn more about bdsm, let me know and I will send you an invite to my newsletter "BDSM + Swing = More Fun. I will also answer questions you may have. Send them via the mail feature.

As for this thread, I have had my fill of this particular debate. I won't be responding to any more posts by PP. They seem to go nowhere and we are not going to change each others perspective so I am moving on to something more productive. You have all heard enough to make up your own minds.

Best wishes.

Green Bay WI
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Jason...I am most definitely not confused about who you are, as I said, we have met briefly and spoken in the past Actually I didn't know if you were an associate of "Z" or not, but I mention him because i would hope even YOU would agree that if the scene has a PR problem, (and if it doesn't, what was the point of the OP?) it is people like him who are part of your problem. He touted himself as a "Master" and the sage of the BDSM Scene in the area, and then put together events which were nothing more than C grade gang bangs where he offered his "subs" up to any jagoff willing to pay the $80 admission fee. If you weren't invited or you didn't know about the great Chicago/Stateline/Wisconsin BDSM/Swing Club powwow of 2010, not to worry, you didn't miss much. It was without a doubt the worst prepared, worst presented, most long winded crock of bullshit Ms Perks, myself and the other club owners ever had the displeasure of sitting through....and like I said, whenever any of us raised a question or concern, the answer came back the same "If you knew how much money you could make, your wouldn't worry about that" That's what the sacred bond between sub and Dom came down to...money. Again, the OP was about why the BDSM scene and the lifestyle seem to be at odds...it gave the BDSM prospective, I am just giving the lifestyle prospective

Rosemont IL
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PP I never pitched you any business or to anyone else, so I don't know what you are referring. Why do you keep mentioning Howie? I have never had any association with him. Maybe you have me confused with someone else.

Green Bay WI
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Judge all you want Jason...just telling you what most of us see from the outside looking in. I see it on a regular basis and I know many of the the same people you know. I make my living in the lifestyle, it's not a weekend hobby

At least I am being honest and frank with you, you should be grateful.

I'm giving you good advice, quite the pretense if you want to be respected and taken seriously, don't be so defensive if you want people to believe YOU actually believe what you say, and next time you folks want to pitch a business proposition to those of who work in the lifestyle industry, get someone other than "Howie" to speak for you...what the PHUCK were you people thinking? Did you honestly think he was the person to represent you folks in that situation? Send someone like Tristan or Ruby next time, you would have probably won us over. LOL If you ever really want to discuss this at length in private I would be happy to be of help, you know where to find me.

(To those outside the Chicago/Stateline/Wisconsin area, sorry for all the "inside baseball" talk, I am just pointing out some people, places and things Jason is familier with in hopes he can understand my point)

Rosemont IL
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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds