Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds: Swingers Discussion 2006661011

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Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds: Swingers Discussion 2006661011

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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds

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User Details are only visible to members.	A sub has control in the following ways: Sub gets to decide to 'play or not play' Sub gets to decide what are hard limits. Sub gets to stop scene at any time. Sub gets to decide to play again or not. Sub gets to give up control for the period of the scene. Giving up control is a big part of what D/s is. It is a choice to play and part of that play is giving up control. No one is force to play. It is consensual on both parts.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (85 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	All due respect to the B/D S&M D/s community, IMHO, what you do is not swinging, and has nothing to do with the swing lifestyle. The closest I brush up against this in our clubs is that we have a room in the Chicago venue with a swing and some lite toys, a fake flogger, paddle, etc, but it is all pseudo "scene". Frankly, to me it is a liability issue. As for the scene itself, I will only say that in the lifestyle, honestly is key, even to one's self. Again, with all due respect, methinks there is a lot of dishonesty that those in the scene have agreed to agree on. Before you say "You don't get it"...I DO get it. I fully understand the argument that "the sub is in control"...I know the sound bytes, and I know the talking points...but sorry guys...I'm not buying it. No one suspended from a ceiling bound in shrink wrap blind folded with a ball gag is "in control" of anything, least of all the person or persons who put them there. If you want to tell me you have gained enough "trust" in the Dom where you know he will end it before he hurts you, that is one thing, but if you believe that consent denotes "control" you are mistaken.,..just my 2 cents
Elk Grove Village IL			Username hidden (2587 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Oh yes. It takes so much time. But oh, is it soooo worth it.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You just cannot trust someone like the sub trusts the dom in an hour this is so true, and probably why there isnt alot of bdsm in swinging
Philadelphia PA			Username hidden (1415 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sorry to be coming into these threads at the tail end y'all. I have not seen many couples that live the bdsm lifestyle mix that with swinging. We are very close to a couple where he is actually a mentor in bdsm and she attends munches in Austin...that is their way of life. I would love to be there some day. Anyways. They never mix swinging and that, we are one of the very few that even know they are in bdsm to that level. Most bdsm'ers, in that capacity, are monogamous. The D/s relationship takes time, its a growth and trust process that you just cant have in a house party scenario. You just cannot trust someone like the sub trusts the dom in an hour. Now, its fun to play around with toys and little crops and floggers, teasingly...but the real topping is usually done in private.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23645 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We hope to help bridge the gap. Or at the very least give both a perfect place to play. Coming from BDSM background AND good friends with swingers over the years, our house parties every weekend will accommodate BDSM on Fridays and Swingers on Saturdays. All guests can use the whole house. So.. perhaps some swingers will venture into the dungeon and use some of the equipment? Or a D/s couple will end up using one of our bedrooms for what is sometimes a by-product of BDSM - - -> "sex"...Don't 100% know what will happen. But my honey helped to build the A2 SpeakAZ (swinger club which is gone now) and it was known as the A2 Reformatory on opposite nights (Swinger/BDSM club) .... So... maybe bridging the gap won't be too difficult. We're all just trying to get our kink on, right? (smiles)... Domina
Lincoln Park MI			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hi Bi I think it was probably someone else you met as we have only be attending and teaching at Secrets for the past year. Never before that. As for playing with others, we have always done that with couples. Sometimes both parties are interested in the bdsm and sometimes the men just like to watch, or they may play with my submissive but in a more conventional swing type play. Sometimes the men want to learn and sometimes not. But we always encourage their participation. Our goal is to help others develop their kink as part of their own personal dynamic. That's part of our fun as well.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (85 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Jason I think we met a few years ago at one of there parties but you were busy flogging someone so we didn't stick around. When we got back you were gone, like not even in the motel anymore. We don't go to there parties anymore as we moved way up north and it's hard to get away. On another note, I would never let my wife go anywhere by her self because you just can't trust everyone. I would go stay in the background and watch if for no other reason then to be there for her safety. It is cool to watch other Doms do there thing and see the response they get.
Presque Isle WI			Username hidden (182 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	biLady There is a group in Wisconsin called BDSM + Swing = More Fun. There are other like minded people from all over as members, but primarily in WI. We also have a newsletter which is geared for beginners. I will send you an invitation to both. We also teach and demo bdsm at the Secrets Hotel Parties. The next on is Feb 16. These are fun events where you can do a little of both. We also teach, mentor and play with others in private as well. Enjoy your journey.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (85 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Great thread, I think since being involved for so long with the swing side we have lost a lot of the other. I will say this we were swingers first and were introduced to BDSM at Swingstock about 7 or 8 years ago. We enjoyed it a lot but by moving away from a larger city it is very hard to find those who practice it. I must say we really only looked briefly.
Presque Isle WI			Username hidden (182 post)

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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds