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Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds : Swingers Discussion 2006661041
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsBDSMMaybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds
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All due respect to the B/D S&M D/s community, IMHO, what you do is not swinging, and has nothing to do with the swing lifestyle. The closest I brush up against this in our clubs is that we have a room in the Chicago venue with a swing and some lite toys, a fake flogger, paddle, etc, but it is all pseudo "scene". Frankly, to me it is a liability issue. As for the scene itself, I will only say that in the lifestyle, honestly is key, even to one's self. Again, with all due respect, methinks there is a lot of dishonesty that those in the scene have agreed to agree on. Before you say "You don't get it"...I DO get it. I fully understand the argument that "the sub is in control"...I know the sound bytes, and I know the talking points...but sorry guys...I'm not buying it. No one suspended from a ceiling bound in shrink wrap blind folded with a ball gag is "in control" of anything, least of all the person or persons who put them there. If you want to tell me you have gained enough "trust" in the Dom where you know he will end it before he hurts you, that is one thing, but if you believe that consent denotes "control" you are mistaken.,..just my 2 cents

Rosemont IL
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Oh yes. It takes so much time. But oh, is it soooo worth it.

San Marcos TX
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You just cannot trust someone like the sub trusts the dom in an hour

this is so true, and probably why there isnt alot of bdsm in swinging

Philadelphia PA
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Sorry to be coming into these threads at the tail end y'all. I have not seen many couples that live the bdsm lifestyle mix that with swinging. We are very close to a couple where he is actually a mentor in bdsm and she attends munches in Austin...that is their way of life. I would love to be there some day. Anyways. They never mix swinging and that, we are one of the very few that even know they are in bdsm to that level. Most bdsm'ers, in that capacity, are monogamous. The D/s relationship takes time, its a growth and trust process that you just cant have in a house party scenario. You just cannot trust someone like the sub trusts the dom in an hour. Now, its fun to play around with toys and little crops and floggers, teasingly...but the real topping is usually done in private.

San Marcos TX
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Hi Bi I think it was probably someone else you met as we have only be attending and teaching at Secrets for the past year. Never before that. As for playing with others, we have always done that with couples. Sometimes both parties are interested in the bdsm and sometimes the men just like to watch, or they may play with my submissive but in a more conventional swing type play. Sometimes the men want to learn and sometimes not. But we always encourage their participation. Our goal is to help others develop their kink as part of their own personal dynamic. That's part of our fun as well.

Green Bay WI
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Jason

I think we met a few years ago at one of there parties but you were busy flogging someone so we didn't stick around. When we got back you were gone, like not even in the motel anymore. We don't go to there parties anymore as we moved way up north and it's hard to get away.

On another note, I would never let my wife go anywhere by her self because you just can't trust everyone. I would go stay in the background and watch if for no other reason then to be there for her safety. It is cool to watch other Doms do there thing and see the response they get.

Presque Isle WI
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biLady There is a group in Wisconsin called BDSM + Swing = More Fun. There are other like minded people from all over as members, but primarily in WI. We also have a newsletter which is geared for beginners. I will send you an invitation to both. We also teach and demo bdsm at the Secrets Hotel Parties. The next on is Feb 16. These are fun events where you can do a little of both. We also teach, mentor and play with others in private as well. Enjoy your journey.

Green Bay WI
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Great thread, I think since being involved for so long with the swing side we have lost a lot of the other. I will say this we were swingers first and were introduced to BDSM at Swingstock about 7 or 8 years ago. We enjoyed it a lot but by moving away from a larger city it is very hard to find those who practice it. I must say we really only looked briefly.

Presque Isle WI
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Hi Dixie Love your reply. You describe a wonderfully complex picture of human interaction. You demonstrate that it does not matter so much the role you play but rather that you enjoy that which you do. Humans are wonderfully diverse and I encourage everyone to celebrate who they are and to explore that which appeals to them. Bdsm is typically a diverse and accepting community. That's one of the elements of a bdsm life that I love. We all get to live the kink we love. Best wishes.

Green Bay WI
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Hi Jason685,

The writer was Dixie, the male half. We both are switches, although Pixie prefers to sub when it is us two.

When topping, I act as a dominant. When bottoming, I act as a submissive. I am not really either one by temperment.

Pixie is more naturally submissive than dominant, but can still take either role. Of course much depends on whom we are with. We both find it's easier to top 3rd parties than it is for one of us to top the other. We came to D/s play relatively lately in our relationship.

Lineboro Cpo MD
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TOPIC: Maybe this is why bdsm and swinging seems at odds