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TOPIC: Looking_for_recommendations
Created by: YouKnowMe888
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi all, I've been easing out of the sub role and into the switch/dom roles recently, and I wanted to find a forum or place where I could talk with actual doms about techniques, starting out, etc. I tried using what I learned as a sub, but I hit snags with my sub and things really didn't work out. I have a switch opportunity and want to go in with a bit more knowledge on the Dom aspect this time around and not make as many mistakes.

Can you recommend forums where real (not virtual) doms chat and that could offer advice? I am a member of fetlife groups, and intend to go to the next munch, but I don't want to assume that's the only answers in the world, I'd like to hit as many useful sources as possible. So far online, all I've found are poser sites and fake doms. Thanks

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First and foremost, ANY Dom that has not been Trained as a sub should be considered a Top and not handing out advice on how to go from sub/switch to Dom role. Mistress Frankie took me from sub/slave/bitch boy to Top over the course of 3 years before I was allowed to play with others and then I was placed in charge of punishment for her other subs and then finally to assist punishments of other Dom's subs. Punishment is not to be a fun experience and teach you the mistake you made while in service.....not saying you can make mistakes, but the mistakes that are made are more forgivable during this stage and process. I suggest finding other Dom's or your Dom that you sub'd for and request this action and their presence to assist. Do not be surprised if they leave the room after a relatively short time. This will make a great opportunity to learn the workings and fix your mistakes before moving to someone who is collared or even trusting you in role play. This role in some cases is referred to as the "Head Bitch" or even and "Alpha" because that role is just below the pecking order of Dom in a D/s relationship. I have been in the lifestyle for 20+ years and spent about 12 as a professional Dom with a collared sub/wife.

I hope this helps Jeff "AKA" Daddy

Columbia SC
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Thanks for the suggestions. I am looking into the local munches, and a friend of mine who is a novice domina is asking around her groups for some mentoring for me. I've also asked on fetlife, although I do have reservations about 'online' only Doms who dont have any actual experience. I'm trying to be careful about getting bad advice, especially when it comes to specifics. Thanks again

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The first thing I'd recommend is to start by topping before attempting to be a Dom. Go to events and play. Watch others top and talk with them after their scene is over. Next I'd recommend attending workshops. Fet often has events in your area that are designed for a variety of perspectives. Hopefully you live in an area where there is an active community.

Take your time and don't rush. There is no perfect way to Dom. Negotiate play with an experienced bottom and ask questions after the session for self improvement. Good luck.

Steve

Riverside CA
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Hi all, I've been easing out of the sub role and into the switch/dom roles recently, and I wanted to find a forum or place where I could talk with actual doms about techniques, starting out, etc. I tried using what I learned as a sub, but I hit snags with my sub and things really didn't work out. I have a switch opportunity and want to go in with a bit more knowledge on the Dom aspect this time around and not make as many mistakes.

Can you recommend forums where real (not virtual) doms chat and that could offer advice? I am a member of fetlife groups, and intend to go to the next munch, but I don't want to assume that's the only answers in the world, I'd like to hit as many useful sources as possible. So far online, all I've found are poser sites and fake doms. Thanks

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(73 posts)
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TOPIC: Looking for recommendations
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