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Is this bdsm : Swingers Discussion 91329
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TOPIC: Is this bdsm
Created by: newtofun31
Original Starting post for this thread:
This weekend we were at the Splash event and wandered into the bdsm room. I was fascinated by the whole thing and came so close to getting up there on the rack. I did get to feel the suede flogger and was so suprised it didnt hurt. So, I always thought bdsm was about pain. I think I could really get into the different textures and sensations, but not the pain. Is it bdsm if it doesnt hurt? For all of you who do enjoy the bdsm aspect of sexual play, would someone who was interested in sensations and not pain be appealing to you? Im thinking from what little I know that a (dom) would not find this to be very exciting.

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Our lifestyle embraces all levels of pain and pleasure. Some Dom/mes enjoy the D/s part only, with no pain at all. Many of us span the spectrum depending on our moods.

Linden NC
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Raising them is pretty painful, especially when estrogen sets in. :0) Shelly


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the sub/dom relationship does not have to include pain. given both have that understanding before hand and you manage to establish and utilize a safe word, nothing can be beyond your exploration. Your fear of pain though, facinates me. Women endure childbirth ffs, and I could not imagine anything being more painful then that, and you guys for the most part survive these occurances with no regrets. Given this being factual, and it is, how much of a stretch would it be to think that while you may be against pain in your normal frame of mind, that when properly stimulated before hand, a little pain might just be an enhancer rather then an inhibitor? Take Cathy for instance. She's submissive, collared in fact, but she's not a huge pain freak either. BUT, now when she crests, and her juices are flowing freely beyond her control, a little hint of pain in the correct measure sends her into the beyond. Never say never and continue your exploration with an open mind. You may just end up surprising yourself.

Gerrardstown WV
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Being new to this site I just now read the question.......I am a real life 24/7 slave to a Master in the BDSM lifestyle and have been for about 5 yrs. In response to your question........like the swing lifestyle there are general guidelines in the BDSM lifestlye. But basically your relationship with a Dominant, Master, or Domme is basically defined between the 2 of you in the relationship. Everyone in the lifestyle has different "kinks" they are into and no it is not uncommon to not be into pain most in the lifestyle aren't. Some are into pain for sexual enhancement not to hurt but to heighten an orgasm. I however, am what in the lifestyle is called a pain slut. I do like the pain but not for pain's sake but for enhancement. So, yes liking the flogging is part of bdsm. So is ice play, and dildos and many other toys. I hope this helped answer your question..........curi

Clarksville TN
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God that's hot...good job.

San Antonio TX
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Its funny because I have seen him at several conventions and at the last one I ran into him in the parking lot. we had a great conversation, he's a very likeable guy outside of the bdsm room and that i liked. Im sure it will be some time before we see him again, but I will keep ya posted. Thanks so much for all of your input.

Panama City Beach FL
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Cool. I think its all a personal choice. For me, even if a dom is experienced and has a good reputation I would not do any roleplay or bdsm play on the first meet...this is because I myself would not be able to trust this person to the extent that I would need to trust him in order to completely relax and enjoy the experience. But hey, if you know that this person is reputable have fun! Shelly


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Heres one of those stupid questions now..... Do you think one of the bdsm rooms at one of the conventions is a good or bad place for a first experience? For me it would be a private session. My thoughts are the person there is probably pretty well respected. I have seen the same man at several conventions and think he most have a good reputation to continue on at so mant events.

Panama City Beach FL
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Thanks everyone for adding your thoughts here. I will do some reading and probably spend quite a bit of time observing at the next convention we attend. I do realize I have no idea where my limits are yet and so think it best to sit back and watch until i am a little more sure. I can imagine jumping in and having a bad experience would ruin it for me forever and wouldnt be a great experience for anyone else involved. Ill keep peeking in the forums and probably asking a lot of seemingly stupid questions!LOL

Panama City Beach FL
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Thank you for your compliments; they are much appreciated.

I did forget to mention one thing that is usually, not always, characteristics of those that enjoy BDSM. Most Doms, be it male or female.....Though I only submit to my husband, who is a male....Are usually loving gentlemen. Who by nature seem to use good judgment, don't rush into things, are honest, thoughtful people....If you encounter a Macho, bossy, trying to prove how much control he has over you to himself or others. He is an abusive Dom. Most subs are strong males/females, that are in control of who they are and know what they want. They are not welcome mats. In their daily life, they are opinionated, introspective, and very self aware. These are the two types of individuals who do this in a healthy way, for the exchange of power. Not because they are psychologically flawed or damaged. Though I have met many who seem to default to this due to some childhood trauma which to this day affects their sexual behavior. So make sure you chose wisely when picking a Dom. Also be self aware enough to know why this type of sex is appealing to you....M

Tinton Falls NJ
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TOPIC: Is this bdsm