Is swinger sex a part of BDSM: Swingers Discussion 70026

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TOPIC: Is swinger sex a part of BDSM

Created by: dplusj Original Starting post for this thread:
We are swingers that are interested in BDSM. We have two questions for those folks in both camps. First, is sex, good old fashioned in and out sex, a central element of the BDSM world? As near as we can tell, it is not. For example, we went to the local porn shop and picked six BDSM movies at random. Not one included male-female sex. The closest was a forced orgasm bondage thing with industrial strength vibrators. We have not found anything akin to swapping in foursomes or more-somes, soft or full, on any BDSM website. Are we just missing it, or does BDSM focus elsewhere? Second, what attracts swingers that do put sex first to BDSM? We have a theory –natural subs look for dominant lovers and vice versa, with an emphasis on passionate sex – but it is only a theory. You folks are in a position to know. Thanks, D+J

Created by: dplusj
Original Starting post for this thread:

We are swingers that are interested in BDSM. We have two questions for those folks in both camps. 

First, is sex, good old fashioned in and out sex, a central element of the BDSM world? As near as we can tell, it is not. For example, we went to the local porn shop and picked six BDSM movies at random. Not one included male-female sex. The closest was a forced orgasm bondage thing with industrial strength vibrators. We have not found anything akin to swapping in foursomes or more-somes, soft or full, on any BDSM website. Are we just missing it, or does BDSM focus elsewhere?

Second, what attracts swingers that do put sex first to BDSM? We have a theory –natural subs look for dominant lovers and vice versa, with an emphasis on passionate sex – but it is only a theory. You folks are in a position to know.

Thanks,
D+J

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User Details are only visible to members.	As a couple that is more into BDSM, yes sex CAN be part of the scene. That being said, when you go to a BDSM club, you typically only play with the partner or group that you came from. There are times I will start a scene with my wife, and tease her only to deny the orgasm until much later. Other times I will take her right there. The key to BDSM is the power exchange, with the top being able to do what he or she wants with the partner. Sometimes that may be sex, others not. As for the movies, in the US they cannot show sexual intercourse in BDSM movies. Stupid, but that is the law.
Libertyville IL			Username hidden (7 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Too bad you're so far away. Dark Odyssey is an event in the Washington DC area that combines both worlds in a great way. Check out darkodyssey dot com. You can combine the two but it is tricky!!
Willingboro NJ			Username hidden (41 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As with anything there are all types and levels of BDSM. And there are no good movies on the subject. The leather movement started with gay men and trust me sex was a big part of it. To many of us it still is. Thank you swinger clubs because swingers are usually more accepting of our fetish than many bdsm people are of swinging. You just need to find the ones that cross over and we are out there
Windsor CO			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	For a site that shows bdsm and sex, try Sexandsubmission. It's part of the hogtied. series of sites. Also insex. had some sex along with the bdsm, but not much. Insex got sold, and has not risen from the ashes. Some of the work is available for download at "those" download sites, napster like. Most of the partys I've been to had no sex at all. It's almost as if they don't do that. I can remember one party in which two submissives got naked, and started touching each other in front of the whole room. It was obvious the doms wanted their girls to get it on, and be fucked, but the owner of the house, (female) got all whacked out. She didn't want "them" doing "it" in her bed. Sheesh! She wanted to fuck me though. And her guy wanted to fuck my girl. ???? What's THAT about?
Altadena CA			Username hidden (20 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We've met some "very into it" people that do not mix sex and their play. That does not work for us. It's always a part of our play and we know many that are the same way. If you're thinking of exploring, take what works for you and leave the rest behind. There is nothing in the "rule book" that says it has to be all or none.
Center Valley PA			Username hidden (8498 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We are swingers that are interested in BDSM. We have two questions for those folks in both camps. First, is sex, good old fashioned in and out sex, a central element of the BDSM world? As near as we can tell, it is not. For example, we went to the local porn shop and picked six BDSM movies at random. Not one included male-female sex. The closest was a forced orgasm bondage thing with industrial strength vibrators. We have not found anything akin to swapping in foursomes or more-somes, soft or full, on any BDSM website. Are we just missing it, or does BDSM focus elsewhere? Second, what attracts swingers that do put sex first to BDSM? We have a theory –natural subs look for dominant lovers and vice versa, with an emphasis on passionate sex – but it is only a theory. You folks are in a position to know. Thanks, D+J
Lake Bluff IL			Username hidden (5 post)

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TOPIC: Is swinger sex a part of BDSM

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