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How do I ask him for more : Swingers Discussion 85878
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TOPIC: How do I ask him for more
Created by: lovingfam
Original Starting post for this thread:
This is something I struggle with. I feel I am a true submissive personality for the most part which brings up my current problem. It is NOT in my nature to tell someone what I want or need in the bedroom. In fact it took me a very LONG time to tell hubby i was even into this stuff. Fear of rejection possibly anyway definately over that now. Hubby has taken over the more dom role fairly well for the most part. However, I am still left wanting more I guess wanting to be pushed farther, collared pretty much at all times but this is a decision that should ultimately be left to him. Looking for I guess a subtle way to tell him I want more without stepping on his toes. I want him to be as into it as I am and I think he could be but he needs to learn more about it. I do not feel comfortable nor do I feel I should be the one to teach him.

Any suggesstions?

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I am new to the site but this caught my eye. I have been her dom for 17 years now. We have only been swinging for about a year but I have always been her dom. One way to have him give you more is to go to him and ask for his help on something you need to work on. For instance, you want to get heatlhier. Ask him to hold you to task if you dont get to the gym at least three times a week. If you don't get to the gym then you need to be corrected. Give it a shot.

Washington DC
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Thinking you know what you want and can check out videos reflecting your ideal relationship in this regard. Pop one in for him on occasion, allow him to see just where your comfort level is. Answer whatever questions he may pose to you when you do so and you should be suitably entertained from that point foward.

Gerrardstown WV
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We are presently reading - "He's on top" and "She's on top" written by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Found her blog in the web - loved it. Bought her books on Amazon. Great quick reading short stories. Both are stories of dominance - one male and one female. Mostly written by women. Very intriguing and sensual. Recommend. S&C

Niagara Falls NY
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Find a nice, fashionable, contemporary leather collar-necklace that you could wear out to dinner as well. Start wearing it around the house. Surprise him - have it on for the first time when he comes home from work. Tell him you like it but you are really wearing it for him and hope he likes it. Eventually wear it out for a special - sexy dinner. After a few times wearing it around him; again surprise him coming home from work wearing your collar - with your wedding band suspended from the collar. Tell him it just makes you feel "more like his". When he inquires tell him - "I just want you to know I belong to you". Hopefully he will get the hint and things will move in the direction you are hoping. Good luck and have fun! Sean & Carol

Niagara Falls NY
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Well sweetie, I suggest either asking permission to speak freely, writing, or getting a book like Master/Slave. I used it to help nudge Sir in the right direction. I read the entire book both Master and Slave. I marked the stories that entrigued me and gave the book to my Sir with a note explaining that the stores I marked were stimulating for me. This gave a large guideline and left total control up to him. I hope this helps.


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Whenever I struggle with how to approach a subject, sometimes I write it first, in an email to him, or a note, and this gives him time to think about it a bit and then we talk about it more in depth. That may work for you as well. It saves you that initial reaction if you're concerned with that.

I don't have to do that very often, as this lifestyle has opened the door to some VERY detailed, open, and deep conversations for us.

G.

San Antonio TX
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For us the best way is to talk at length about the "more". Then you're sure that you both are on the same page.

Center Valley PA
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This seems to be part of the on-going dimension in a D/s relationship. Would like to know how other couples communicate the need for "more, please'. Hope you worked this all out LovingFam.

Mr. Lustybear

Hopkins MN
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Lusty Library...... Try it.

Dallas TX
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not yet, 1.78 bln.

Pretty sad, these kids that work here came to me on wenesday the oldest one is 24 Said "scott, would you mind taking the desk on friday so we can all take off for a party, you don't party with us and it would be great" I knew they were up to something when they brought me a pramanti bros sandwhich.

They always give me the "boring old guy" lecture. The one time i went out with them they were saying "you're to old to hang with us", well 4am rolled around and they wanted to go home, i said "hell were i party this is what time things start happening". LITTLE FUCKERS.

Lake Worth FL
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TOPIC: How do I ask him for more