Her Submissive Desires: Swingers Discussion 2138251011

155
Her Submissive Desires: Swingers Discussion 2138251011

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TOPIC: Her Submissive Desires

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User Details are only visible to members.	Part 2 of 2 "You are either dominant, or you are not. Dominant is not a trait, it's a personality, it's how a person carries themselves, thinks, interacts, decides, every single day. A dominant does not have a switch that can be turned off or on. It's either there, or it isn't". One can certainly be a dominant and be an asshole, or an abuser, etc. Being a dominant personality does not create a successful dominant. It takes skill, perception, practice, study and all of the training that can take one from being a novice with little or no skill, to a dominant with discernment and power. These traits do not occur naturally in most dominants. "And that is precisely why there is so much of what is known as fluff BDSM, feel free to carry on." It is so easy to be judgmental when one is sure they know the only real path. "I would never offer my services to mentor anyone, some things can not be learned nor taught. They come from the gut, from who you are, not from what you what you imagine yourself to be." Have you never learned from others or taught others? If not, you are missing a great deal. "Dominance like submission, comes from within, a personality trait. It's how you live, it's how you think, it's how you function every moment of your life. It isn't a feature that you can turn on and off" Do you turn off your dominance when you submit? If not, where does it go? "You can not, I repeat, CAN NOT learn dominance through training " You can learn to be dominant, if you are so inclined. Athletes, musicians, and successful people in every profession, learn how to be successful. They may have aptitude, and they may have wonderful natural ability, but without training they will never be successful. Dominant personalities can also be huge pains. And not in a good way. "One simply cannot be whom they are not! " Then how can one be submissive if they are 100% dominant? "You can not train a personality type into someone." Maybe not, but an untrained personality is also not likely to be successful.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (81 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We do not "play" with others when it comes to SM, unless we know them and they us well enough to build enough trust where safewords aren't required. As to dominance, we are both dominant ALL the time.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12187 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	* Life and play are never really clarified. * That is because for some, it's just life, it's not play. It is how we live, how we interact, how we do things, how we communicate, even when we're what others refer to as, playing!
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12187 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sweethart, I understand your comments. I am submissive by nature, but by no means in my relationship with my husband am I weak willed or mousy. Because he IS dominant, and LOVES me truly, he brings out my very strong willed side and loves it about me. We argue. I no longer have to back down to anyone (as I did in a controlling childhood and an abusive marriage). I think someone did mention the right kind of Dominant person. The one who doesn't use it to control or oppress, but instead to bring out the very things that others tried and failed to repress. Will. Wit. Intelligence. Capabilities. Independence. Dreams to fulfill. Because I am confident and comfortable that I have a safe place within his arms to fall, I am so very free to be myself. Finally in my life I can be Me. And he is supportive, caring, loving, and doesn't let me get back into my former head that was told I couldn't play sports, was told to shut up, was told I wasn't good enough in almost every aspect. Because D knows and loves me, he is encouraging. Because he is truly dominant and confident and doesn't not ever feel insecure or threatened by anything I succeed at, he cheers me on. My nature is to automatically feel like shit with any mistake or failure. His will is to bend mine to believe otherwise. to believe in myself. And when I get in my head and start to play those old abusive "tapes," all he has to do now is say, "Gina, stop." I hope that makes sense. It does to me.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6002 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Honestly the few experences i have had with Sub females,turned my stomach. Why, well i grow up in an abusive home where we were not allowed to think for ourselves and where survilly punished when we did. And the demeanor I say in these women was the same I saw in my mother. weak willed and mousey. My wife grew up in some what the same environment minus the physical abuse And the idea of a man trying to domanat over her puts her on the defence. The words I heard from her most during the first few years of our marraige were, "I'm not a child,don't treat me like one" So because I love her more than live, I learned how to be more submissive with her as not to crush her spirit.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It's my understanding that the whole D/S thing goes way beyone the scene. Even in a normal sexually setting their can be one who in dominate and one who is submissive.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It has been said by many, "the bottom is always in control of the scene by having the ultimate right to stop it..." but this logic has a big blind side. A top has exactly the same right to stop the scene. Both sides have the same right. The reality that either can stop the session has nothing to do with who is in control.
Pismo Beach CA			Username hidden (302 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Submission is certainly a choice. No one submits without choosing to do so. Submission is not necessarily coercion. It can and should be totally voluntary. In either case, the submissive is yielding consensually. Here is one definition of submission. The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. Accepting and yielding are choices of the submissive that are freely given to the dominant.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (81 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Only in relationships where the dominant partner isn't really a dominant, but more of a top. Submission isn't a choice, it's a natural response to successful dominance. I have to agree, this sounds as close to the wife and I's relationship as you can get.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2186 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Only in relationships where the dominant partner isn't really a dominant, but more of a top. Submission isn't a choice, it's a natural response to successful dominance.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12187 post)

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TOPIC: Her Submissive Desires