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Finding a Balance : Swingers Discussion 439361013
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TOPIC: Finding a Balance
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I have no subject line as I start this because I'm not sure where it will go. I do know that I'm having difficulty with the D/s lifestyle due to the fact that I feel my sub is an unwilling participant. When I ask her, she tells me a 24/7 D/s lifestyle is what she wants and agrees to the terms set before her. However, only moments pass before these terms are ignored, forgotten, and abandoned.

My interest in the D/s lifestyle from a Dominant stand point is only to help my sub grow to be a better person. At the moment I would like her to work on being more considerate of others and also to be more motivated. Sadly these are the same issues that I feel keep her from truly submitting. Her lack of motivation/laziness is what makes her submissive when it's convenient and her lack of consideration for others allows her to feel guilt-free when it happens. When I attempt to punish her for her insubordination I get a look from her like I'm insane and I'm often left feeling as though if I push the issue to hard I will, in time, lose her.

At the moment I've returned to the basics. All I ask of her is to address me as Sir. and to post online once a day with the a numerical count and the phrase; "I am a collared sub". I am hoping that this will serve as a daily reminder of the commitment she has made to me. However, she's posted the line two days out of approximately 6 and rarely addresses me as Sir.

I think after typing this all out I'm finding some clarity to the reason for my posting... At what point should I simply say; "This isn't working", remove the collar and lead a vanilla life? At the moment I already feel we are living this way. With the exception of the OCCASSSIONAL punishment nothing would change. I'd still push for her to become a better person but I would no longer be living with the delusion that she will except any means I choose to help her achieve this.

I'm sure anyone reading this might be wondering what are the tasks I ask of My sub to complete, so here is a listing of just a few: - (In the beginning) Wear your hair down when you are out with me in public - She did this for a while and when she failed to she was punished and accepting of her punishment. [Note: some time later I collared her] - Write a submissive creed (Which I'll post in this thread as I think it will shead some light on her mindset) - once a week do something JUST FOR ME and mark it on the calendar - She was reminded on several occasions (about 15 times) and only did part of it once - Do all you can to get us on a schedule - I asked several times for this and made suggestions on how to do it but we (our family) still live in chaos. I am fair and will say that life does get in the way from time to time but when it doesn't we have nothing to return to. - For my birthday I would like EVERY room in the house clean - It wasn't - For my birthday I would simply like her to not create any stress for me. - Even after I emphasized how important this was for me many times and many days before hand she failed to do this and was punished for it. On this occasion she began by accepting her punishment but soon after and far before I was done she freaked out and demanded I stop. - Keep a list of things you accomplish throughout the day and keep it on you! - She did this for 2 days

This list goes on and on....

Currently I only ask the things previously mentioned: - Address me as Sir - Once a day create a post that numerically counts the phrase; "I am a collared sub" and also: - Have a hair tie on you at all time. - This is the only one that she has made an effort to follow and does well at.

[continued in the next post]

Mayfield PA
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(910 posts)
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TOPIC: Finding a Balance