Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions BDSM Finding a Balance
TOPIC: Finding a Balance
GoTo Page: 1 2
Start   11 to 13 of 13 
User Details are only visible to members.
her submissive creed:

i am a submissive woman. i find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to Another in a loving relationship. i am not weak, or stupid. i am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what i want out of my life. i do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. i will look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never will i be more complete than when He is with me. i know that He will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with His strength and wisdom. He is everything to me, as i am everything to Him. His touch awakens me and His thoughts free me. Only in serving Him do i find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but i accept them thankfully, knowing that He has my best interests always foremost in His mind. If He desires my body for pleasure, i shall joyfully give it to Him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that i have brought Him happines. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship. my body is His, and if He says i am beautiful, then i am. No matter what i look like to others, i am beautiful in His eyes, and because of that i hold my head high... ...for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If He says that i am His princess, then i am that...regal and graceful. And if i see laughter at me in the eyes of others, i do not recognize it, for who are T/they to call my Master wrong? If He says i am His toy, His slut, His tramp, then i am that... as wanton and dirty as He wants me to be, and if O/others do not see this, then it is T/they who ae blind, not my Master. my mind is His, to expand, to explore, to know as only He can. i have no secrets from Him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly His. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself... and i do not want walls. His lessons are not always ones i would seek on my own, but they are lessons He has decided i need, and so i learn from Him. my soul is His, as bare to His touch as ever my skin could be when i kneel naked at His feet. Never a moment goes by when i do not feel His presence, be He miles away or standing before me. If i were ever to displease Him, His displeasures would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be. The anguish of my soul that i feel when i disappoint Him is harder to bear than the physical anguish i feel when His belt caresses me with fire. i spend my days knowing that the energy and thought He puts into O/our relationship is as much for my benefit as for His, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that W/we do together. His part is much harder than mine, and i know this and am grateful that He cares enough about me to spend His time and energy so freely on me. i have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Him. i am His pleasure and responsibility, and He takes both seriously. i am a submissive woman. i am proud to call myself that. my submission is a Gift that i do not give lightly, and can only be given to One who can appreciate that Gift and return it tenfold. Only to He who has that strength will i give myself fully, because i am strong and proud. i am a submissive woman.

Mayfield PA
Username hidden
(910 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
[continued from the previous post]

The problem is she only excels at the meaningless tasks. The ones that add value and substance to her life she puts little or no effort into and gets wild eyed when I attempt to punish her for it.

I've finally got it ...

I love this woman in a traditional way and this is what makes me fear punishing her for her failures. I fear that she may one day think "I don't want this" and if the only side of me she knows is a dominant one she may leave thinking that is all I have to offer her. Ultimately I'm having a hard time finding the right balance of our D/s and vanilla life. (Especially since we are supposed to be living a 24/7 D/s one)

So my question is ...

She is obviously unsure of exactly what she wants because her statements directly conflict with the majority of her actions, so would it be wrong for me to set the "balance" for both of us and stick to it no matter what?

I realize this isn't a black and white issue but if anyone has some guidance or wouldn't mind sharing a similar experience with these types of issues it would be appreciated

Mayfield PA
Username hidden
(910 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I have no subject line as I start this because I'm not sure where it will go. I do know that I'm having difficulty with the D/s lifestyle due to the fact that I feel my sub is an unwilling participant. When I ask her, she tells me a 24/7 D/s lifestyle is what she wants and agrees to the terms set before her. However, only moments pass before these terms are ignored, forgotten, and abandoned.

My interest in the D/s lifestyle from a Dominant stand point is only to help my sub grow to be a better person. At the moment I would like her to work on being more considerate of others and also to be more motivated. Sadly these are the same issues that I feel keep her from truly submitting. Her lack of motivation/laziness is what makes her submissive when it's convenient and her lack of consideration for others allows her to feel guilt-free when it happens. When I attempt to punish her for her insubordination I get a look from her like I'm insane and I'm often left feeling as though if I push the issue to hard I will, in time, lose her.

At the moment I've returned to the basics. All I ask of her is to address me as Sir. and to post online once a day with the a numerical count and the phrase; "I am a collared sub". I am hoping that this will serve as a daily reminder of the commitment she has made to me. However, she's posted the line two days out of approximately 6 and rarely addresses me as Sir.

I think after typing this all out I'm finding some clarity to the reason for my posting... At what point should I simply say; "This isn't working", remove the collar and lead a vanilla life? At the moment I already feel we are living this way. With the exception of the OCCASSSIONAL punishment nothing would change. I'd still push for her to become a better person but I would no longer be living with the delusion that she will except any means I choose to help her achieve this.

I'm sure anyone reading this might be wondering what are the tasks I ask of My sub to complete, so here is a listing of just a few: - (In the beginning) Wear your hair down when you are out with me in public - She did this for a while and when she failed to she was punished and accepting of her punishment. [Note: some time later I collared her] - Write a submissive creed (Which I'll post in this thread as I think it will shead some light on her mindset) - once a week do something JUST FOR ME and mark it on the calendar - She was reminded on several occasions (about 15 times) and only did part of it once - Do all you can to get us on a schedule - I asked several times for this and made suggestions on how to do it but we (our family) still live in chaos. I am fair and will say that life does get in the way from time to time but when it doesn't we have nothing to return to. - For my birthday I would like EVERY room in the house clean - It wasn't - For my birthday I would simply like her to not create any stress for me. - Even after I emphasized how important this was for me many times and many days before hand she failed to do this and was punished for it. On this occasion she began by accepting her punishment but soon after and far before I was done she freaked out and demanded I stop. - Keep a list of things you accomplish throughout the day and keep it on you! - She did this for 2 days

This list goes on and on....

Currently I only ask the things previously mentioned: - Address me as Sir - Once a day create a post that numerically counts the phrase; "I am a collared sub" and also: - Have a hair tie on you at all time. - This is the only one that she has made an effort to follow and does well at.

[continued in the next post]

Mayfield PA
Username hidden
(910 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2
Start   11 to 13 of 13 
TOPIC: Finding a Balance