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Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM : Swingers Discussion 1927091071
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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM
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I would agree we have actually lost like 5 coulpes after talking to them when we told them we were into bdsm. So we ended up sugar coating our profile and bring it up in conversation but no luck here yet with another bdsm couple

Millville DE
 
 
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Actually it is to the opposite for us.

We have found many that are into it, several that dabble in it once they hear what different things are actually a part of bdsm and even a few willing or wanting to see/learn talk about it. Our issue is just time and distance.

On the flip side, we still find a lot of people easly offended and so judgemental over the subject. Of course most of these are people who claim open mindness, educated professionals etc. Same ones are usually the ones who claim political correctness and so forth. And for the most part have the driest since of humor and stuck up sticks in the mud. MOHO of course.

Those people we love to meet in a big crowed area, stand behind them, fart and when people look that way, POINT to that couple/person.

DOC SWAMP

Hot Springs National Park AR
 
 
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Think the last post more or less nailed it, there is fault on both sides, a lot of swingers seem to be unwilling even to try an understand the BDSM dynamic and in our experience quite a few so called serious BDSM players see anything which involves simple penetrative sex as somehow undermining their "art form".

Things hit a new low for us recently when we were actually asked to leave a club in London, our crime using the dungeon equipment for the purposes for which it was designed!!!! Apparently the sight of Slave L in rope bondage was "upsetting their other customers"

What a crock of s**t!!! i

Havering United Kingdom
 
 
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We managed a swing club for many years, and added a dungeon there because we saw a need. What we found is most of the time the 2 groups did not mix well in the party space. For a bunch of people who should be the most open minded, many found fault within either group.

We being both swingers and BDSM, did find some people who wanted to learn some of the kinkier side of things, but many of the swingers who were so against BDSM, made it difficult for anyone who wanted to try anything, feel like they were still welcomed.

We have since left that club and the first thing the new management did was remove the dungeon, they were on the swinger side who didn't appreciate it. My suggestion is your more likely to find a poly/swinger group of BDSMers than you are swingers who dabble into BDSM.

We converted a few over the years, but for many they just couldn't grasp it even enough to just accept it.

Hammond IN
 
 
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And, actually, now that I'm thinking of it (and I have no clue why it didn't register when I was first posting and it doesn't look like I can just edit) the swingers club that we have attended over here also has a small dungeon for BDSM play (although apparently they had an issue with a couple doing some golden shower play on the new carpet but that's just a "use your brain" moment especially since there are perfectly usable showers for that kind of play).

Perhaps it has more to do with the general climate in the area but it seems that BDSM play is already infiltrating Southern California swingers.

Fullerton CA
 
 
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It doesn't look like it would help any of the other posters directly due to the location (Southern California near Los Angeles) but there is at least one swingers club that intentionally includes the BDSM culture.

Evolution Kink. They have a website and they are listed in the Clubs section of SLS as well and if I remember correctly their description there is a little better. It looks relatively new but I'm not sure about that.

My partner and I haven't actually made it out to this club yet but we have pretty limited time and a lot of the clubs are primarily weekend events which conflicts with other bits of life.

I'm interested to get out to this one someday and see how the two lifestyles work together. Since I rarely drink much when swinging (or during BDSM play) the drunken whip disasters don't worry me personally although I can see how it could be a problem.

Fullerton CA
 
 
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We are finding a similar problem in our area. Not many who mix the two things together.

Vancouver WA
 
 
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Luv to help you out but she is more of the domme type and he is the sub

Chambersburg PA
 
 
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we would love to meet another couple to introduce us to BDSM

Hagerstown MD
 
 
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Like you guys we come at the swinging scene from a BDSM background, in fact I suspect we are probably not really swingers in the classic sense of the word, given that we are not that interested in simply having sex with another couple, rather we are looking for experiences which can form part of our wider Master/ Slave relationship, be that having slave used by a group of guys, playing with other BDSM couples, or dommes or just having fun with people who accept us for what we are.

I don't think the two worlds sit comfortably together, for a variety of reasons, the trust thing is one, alcohol is another (let's face it a lot of swingers parties are very boozy affairs while for obvious reasons whips and strong drink are not a good mixture). I would also say there is a significant degree of snobbery , and misunderstanding on both sides.

Based on our experiences over the last five years, my advice would be as follows:

1. See if you can hunt down some Swingers clubs who put on occasional Fetish or Fetish Friendly events, these tend to draw more of a mixed crowd, that hardcore fetish clubs, and seem especially suited for people like us who have a "foot in both camps".

2. Every now and again go to a straight swingers club, leave the whips and chains at home and just check out the scene, once you have seen people a few times then gradually introduce the BDSM side of things. In our experience a considerable number of swingers have and interest in BDSM, but have no idea where to start or anyone to show them the ropes (pardon the pun!!) In this regard having some sort of visible talking point (like a collar) can be a good start.

3. Don't be afraid to be different.

Regards

Master G & Slave L

Havering United Kingdom
 
 
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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM