Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM: Swingers Discussion 1927091071

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Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM: Swingers Discussion 1927091071

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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM

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User Details are only visible to members.	Ya know, just keep the BDSM with BDSM. Trying to mix vanilla swingers with your BDSM is a formula for trouble. I want my play to be controlled. Trust is a wonderful feeling. If I leave Kat in a hotel room bound to the bed while I have drinks with a couple, I need to trust when I send the female to the room. Why leave this to "wanna be's?"
Morgantown PA			Username hidden (2965 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	When we go back into a swinging/BDSM situation we will be much more careful. We won't talk limits, we will discuss and agree on the specifics of what is allowed. I think we can find enough common interests to keep everyone happy. I am sure that we will find the right couple and we are very open to finding that couple. In the interium, we are happy with regular ole swinging swinging with nice people.
Clearwater FL			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hi StPete and Swingov ~~ Welcome to the forums! We had several bad experiences after sharing with two different couples about our BDSM. Even though everything was discussed prior to playing...when we went to separate rooms, the men REALLY overstepped their bounds with me. Now, we don't hide it (we mention it in our profile), but we state upfront that it's between hubby and I, and now we only do same room. To encourage you...we HAVE finally met another couple into BDSM and have struck up a very strong friendship with them. We have complete trust - the only way any kind of relationship, let alone one focused in BDSM, can work. Kat
Morgantown PA			Username hidden (2965 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We come from the sexual side of things if you are talking swinging. But we start on the BDSM side for our own sex life. We do see BDSM done correctly as very sensual and totally sexual. We haven't had much success combining the two beyond some light bondage and toys. We had one expereince with a submissive lady -- who had a vanilla partner. She got off so hard on the BDSM play that it upset her vanilla half. However it would be great to find a couple withwhom we could share a true BDSM scene.
Clearwater FL			Username hidden (2 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I would agree we have actually lost like 5 coulpes after talking to them when we told them we were into bdsm. So we ended up sugar coating our profile and bring it up in conversation but no luck here yet with another bdsm couple
Bethany Beach DE			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Actually it is to the opposite for us. We have found many that are into it, several that dabble in it once they hear what different things are actually a part of bdsm and even a few willing or wanting to see/learn talk about it. Our issue is just time and distance. On the flip side, we still find a lot of people easly offended and so judgemental over the subject. Of course most of these are people who claim open mindness, educated professionals etc. Same ones are usually the ones who claim political correctness and so forth. And for the most part have the driest since of humor and stuck up sticks in the mud. MOHO of course. Those people we love to meet in a big crowed area, stand behind them, fart and when people look that way, POINT to that couple/person. DOC SWAMP
Hot Springs National Park AR			Username hidden (155 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Think the last post more or less nailed it, there is fault on both sides, a lot of swingers seem to be unwilling even to try an understand the BDSM dynamic and in our experience quite a few so called serious BDSM players see anything which involves simple penetrative sex as somehow undermining their "art form". Things hit a new low for us recently when we were actually asked to leave a club in London, our crime using the dungeon equipment for the purposes for which it was designed!!!! Apparently the sight of Slave L in rope bondage was "upsetting their other customers" What a crock of s**t!!! i
Havering United Kingdom			Username hidden (12 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We managed a swing club for many years, and added a dungeon there because we saw a need. What we found is most of the time the 2 groups did not mix well in the party space. For a bunch of people who should be the most open minded, many found fault within either group. We being both swingers and BDSM, did find some people who wanted to learn some of the kinkier side of things, but many of the swingers who were so against BDSM, made it difficult for anyone who wanted to try anything, feel like they were still welcomed. We have since left that club and the first thing the new management did was remove the dungeon, they were on the swinger side who didn't appreciate it. My suggestion is your more likely to find a poly/swinger group of BDSMers than you are swingers who dabble into BDSM. We converted a few over the years, but for many they just couldn't grasp it even enough to just accept it.
Hammond IN			Username hidden (441 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	And, actually, now that I'm thinking of it (and I have no clue why it didn't register when I was first posting and it doesn't look like I can just edit) the swingers club that we have attended over here also has a small dungeon for BDSM play (although apparently they had an issue with a couple doing some golden shower play on the new carpet but that's just a "use your brain" moment especially since there are perfectly usable showers for that kind of play). Perhaps it has more to do with the general climate in the area but it seems that BDSM play is already infiltrating Southern California swingers.
Fullerton CA			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It doesn't look like it would help any of the other posters directly due to the location (Southern California near Los Angeles) but there is at least one swingers club that intentionally includes the BDSM culture. Evolution Kink. They have a website and they are listed in the Clubs section of SLS as well and if I remember correctly their description there is a little better. It looks relatively new but I'm not sure about that. My partner and I haven't actually made it out to this club yet but we have pretty limited time and a lot of the clubs are primarily weekend events which conflicts with other bits of life. I'm interested to get out to this one someday and see how the two lifestyles work together. Since I rarely drink much when swinging (or during BDSM play) the drunken whip disasters don't worry me personally although I can see how it could be a problem.
Fullerton CA			Username hidden (14 post)

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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM