Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM: Swingers Discussion 1927091031

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Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM: Swingers Discussion 1927091031

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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM

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User Details are only visible to members.	"So you understand a better 'description' of the two of you would be 'kinkster', right? D/s is very specific. Top/bottom is very specific. Etc." Another term/dynamic that comes to mind would be switch. In our local BDSM community, we have M/s, D/s, T/b, Switch, and Kinkster. How each person labels themselves and their dynamic is up to them. Generally though the M/s and D/s tend to be 24/7 where as the T/b, Switches, and Kinksters are more just in it for the physical play time. ~N
Daphne AL			Username hidden (33 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"The sub DOES have something to say about the play. If Kat is with me she doesn't have to say anything because I've known her for 30 years." Starry, Last week, in the same scene, a strange girl got pushy with Terri while I was nearby. I looked over and watched, but she seemed OK, and did not use her safe word. Later I found out that she was indeed uncomfortable and asked her to stop, she didn't. The 'new friend' I mentioned before resolved the situation gently but firmly once he knew what was going on. Two days later I decided to 'test' her safe word. Basically I just fucked her incredibly hard, past where I KNEW she was 'done'. She failed to use her safe word. She DID keep telling me "I'm done" (I usually drop her on the bed and say "you're done" when I know she has had enough ;) but it was NOT her safe word. I believe she got close to tears before I relented and let her go. As I was holding her coming out of 'subspace' I asked her if she knew why I did that. She didn't. I explained that she had forgotten the word and she said she did not think she needed to use it with ME. I have to admit to 'spoiling' her up to this point as she is very very new to this, but now she has a 'date' of when the kids are all out of the house for college in August as the time when she will be in a more 'structured' D/s relationship. Anyway, I digress... I tested her again a few days later, in a different way, and she failed to use it again. This time she got marks.... I will test her again. It's IMPERATIVE that a safe word is as automatic as breathing if you are going to play with others in ANY way. So yes, what you say really IS true....BUT, you may want to rethink the process, not only to play with others, but if you think you will be truly pushing her limits. Peace
East Fishkill NY			Username hidden (2777 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"When we play we don't even think about it as who is the D and who is the S We think about it as ooo it's my turn to be to receiver of pleasure tonight and you get to be the giver." So you understand a better 'description' of the two of you would be 'kinkster', right? D/s is very specific. Top/bottom is very specific. Etc. Probably make communication easier if other D/s couples knew that (by calling yourselves 'kinksters' for instance?) and perhaps even save time and energy? MHO only....
East Fishkill NY			Username hidden (2777 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Your correct, I'll see if I can explain,we enjoy a wide verity of the physical actives,both m to f and f to m. example, if she pegging me and bringing me to multiple orgasms until I slip in to sub space, I don't look at her as my dominant, but instead my deliverer of pleasure. The same can be said of her while I'm throat fking her and or spanking her ass. Or if she's tied to the bed and i'm bringing her to orgasm until she passes out. When we play we don't even think about it as who is the D and who is the S We think about it as ooo it's my turn to be to receiver of pleasure tonight and you get to be the giver. Everything we do ,be it flogging, spanking,candle wax,ect are all done to enhance the senses in preparation for intercourse.
Dallas TX			Username hidden (2225 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"After reading the last few post I now see why it is so difficult to mix bdsm with most swingers, It's not the physical play but the mental domination that turns most people (especially females)off." I'm not sure I'm reading this right. The mental play turns you off? THAT is the very thing that turns us ON! So you are saying that you enjoy the physical play, but the mental play is a turn off? Fascinating!
East Fishkill NY			Username hidden (2777 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hello Bilady33 I have sent you an invitation to our group and newsletter:BDSM + Swing = More Fun. We are in the Green Bay area if you are coming this way.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (109 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We have found it hard to play with anyone let alone couples that enjoy BDSM. We are not hard core but we do or should I say she enjoys rough play and being submissive from time to time.
Presque Isle WI			Username hidden (182 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	After reading the last few post I now see why it is so difficult to mix bdsm with most swingers, It's not the physical play but the mental domination that turns most people (especially females)off. I know for our experience most successful swing couples are comprised of dominant females, were most of the bdsm couples I have met and seen are comprised of dominant males. Actually I don't think I've ever seen a post in this forum by a couple where the female was the dominate.
Dallas TX			Username hidden (2225 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Hello Ghost I always appreciate when an experienced sub gives me a clue. I like it when communication leads to better, more satisfying play. Communication style from the sub can be very important. A respectful word or two from the submissive can help a new top move the scene forward. On the other hand, a SAM would just piss me off. I think situationally aware is a good descriptor.
Green Bay WI			Username hidden (109 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	In the 'wow, I really trained her good' category: In a swinging scene a few weeks ago. No actual Dom there but myself. MrsMuir is with a new friend. Later he tells me "she was telling me, harder, no there, yes" etc. He told me yesterday that he appreciated that, because he did not know her well and did not want to hurt her. This from a guy who is not a Dom, but IMHO could be a natural. Though this DOES border on topping from the bottom, she is too new to actually know what that means, so I chose to look at it as being 'situationally aware'. Though now she knows....
East Fishkill NY			Username hidden (2777 post)

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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM