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Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM : Swingers Discussion 1927091021
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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM
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This needs to be said about MFM. Two doms is something that rarely works well.

The enjoyment a dom gets out of a session is largely from being in control. Doms do not share well, and are unlikely to trust unknown doms with their subs. As a result, if a session is going to take place with two male doms, the two need to work things out well in advance.

Usually one of the doms would be the clear Alpha and the other more of a helper dom.

Kitty Hawk NC
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LA MFM is not uncommon. You can have two men dominating one woman. Many submissive women would love to be dominated by two men. Add three or more men and you could have a gangbang. As long as all parties are agreed you can have any variety of combinations.

Green Bay WI
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admittantly, I have only read back about 15 days worth of posts, but this is a very interesting and enlightening thread. One thing that strikes me as especially interesting is the age group of the knowledgable posters being essentially 45 and older. Is this due to overal sexual experience and maturity in that they have had the time and experience to sort out in depth their own desires and places in the sexual world?

Years ago, i had the pleasure of being introduced to the sensual and sensory side of BDSM by a close F friend. i was her bottom, and typically bound spread eagle and blindfolded. her "technique / scene" was to concentrate more on stimulating the senses and mind through subtle sounds, letting the mind churn on trying to figure them out, subtle touches and skin stimulations from a variety of materials and toys. the stimulations would gradually escalate in intensity as did the arousal level, leading up to direct toy usage and eventually orgasm. this sort of playing almost sounds like the "kinkster" level as associated with sweettart. i found it very erotic to "surrender" control to her and to be able to relax and dive fully into the experience and not be thinking about anything other than the stimulations.

here is a question for the room: is BDSM play possible in a MFM setting, and if so how does it compare to 1 on 1 situations?

Slidell LA
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"Good lord, have you been on FetLife recently? Mtf/sub (?) Tg/Dom (?!)"

Oh yeah, don't ya just love it? LMAO

and ya gotta love a good mindfuck <weg>

~N

Daphne AL
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:p

East Fishkill NY
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My take:

It's ALL about mindfuck

East Fishkill NY
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It seems to me that in all of the types of relationship dynamics describe there is one thing that is common in them all. That is that one person is dominant and in control and one person is submissive and surrenders control. All of the other descriptors are various manifestations of the dominant/submissive dynamic. It can be scene by scene or 24/7 or switching or top/bottom or master/slave. It all cases there is control/surrender dynamic. The rest is just each persons particular flavor. Look beyond the tools, toys and scenes and you will find one is topping and one is bottoming. When you realize it is all about the dynamic then every tool, every scene, can be used to enhance the dynamic of the moment. Just my take.

Green Bay WI
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"In our local BDSM community, we have M/s, D/s, T/b, Switch, and Kinkster. How each person labels themselves and their dynamic is up to them. "Good lord, have you been on FetLife recently? Mtf/sub (?) Tg/Dom (?!)

I can't keep track of them all!

On another note/start another debate? Are there REALLY such things as switches at all? Or just 'undecided' or those that have not 'discovered' their nature yet?

Perhaps another thread?

East Fishkill NY
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"So you understand a better 'description' of the two of you would be 'kinkster', right? D/s is very specific. Top/bottom is very specific. Etc."

Another term/dynamic that comes to mind would be switch.

In our local BDSM community, we have M/s, D/s, T/b, Switch, and Kinkster. How each person labels themselves and their dynamic is up to them. Generally though the M/s and D/s tend to be 24/7 where as the T/b, Switches, and Kinksters are more just in it for the physical play time.

~N

Daphne AL
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"The sub DOES have something to say about the play. If Kat is with me she doesn't have to say anything because I've known her for 30 years."

Starry,

Last week, in the same scene, a strange girl got pushy with Terri while I was nearby. I looked over and watched, but she seemed OK, and did not use her safe word. Later I found out that she was indeed uncomfortable and asked her to stop, she didn't. The 'new friend' I mentioned before resolved the situation gently but firmly once he knew what was going on.

Two days later I decided to 'test' her safe word. Basically I just fucked her incredibly hard, past where I KNEW she was 'done'. She failed to use her safe word. She DID keep telling me "I'm done" (I usually drop her on the bed and say "you're done" when I know she has had enough ;) but it was NOT her safe word. I believe she got close to tears before I relented and let her go. As I was holding her coming out of 'subspace' I asked her if she knew why I did that. She didn't. I explained that she had forgotten the word and she said she did not think she needed to use it with ME. I have to admit to 'spoiling' her up to this point as she is very very new to this, but now she has a 'date' of when the kids are all out of the house for college in August as the time when she will be in a more 'structured' D/s relationship. Anyway, I digress... I tested her again a few days later, in a different way, and she failed to use it again. This time she got marks.... I will test her again. It's IMPERATIVE that a safe word is as automatic as breathing if you are going to play with others in ANY way.

So yes, what you say really IS true....BUT, you may want to rethink the process, not only to play with others, but if you think you will be truly pushing her limits.

Peace

East Fishkill NY
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TOPIC: Difficult to find swingers who are also interested in BDSM