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Curiosity about the BDSM lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 1716981011
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TOPIC: Curiosity about the BDSM lifestyle
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lol@ricky. You just can't help yourself, can you? :-D

From my previous post which you apparently forgot to read or couldn't comprehend:

"I have openly stated that I know very little about this fetish..."

"I will not offer advice on bdsm as I am not qualified."

So what's your excuse for "pontificating" ricky?

I will offer one piece of advice that is pretty universally accepted as lesson #1. You need to practice self-restraint before you try to restrain others.

Poland OH
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Be careful Lynn. Others have expressed curiosity about bdsm and gotten roundly criticized for their efforts. As Kitty mentioned, there seems to be a lot of different kinks and if you express one that is different from the self-proclaimed experts here, you may be ridiculed.

I have openly stated that I know very little about this fetish yet I have engaged in some forms of it, I just didn't know the terminology. There is one couple here where the husband says he has little experience but wants to learn while his wife claims to be the end-all know-all. Wonder who her dom is, lol.

I will not offer advice on bdsm as I am not qualified. My only advice to you is not to believe everything you read here and maybe pick up the book Kitty mentioned. Good luck!

Poland OH
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No reason for someone to take offense to your question.

BDSM is really hard to boil down to generalized statements since at it's core it involves a variety of different aspects. B/D=Bondage and Discipline D/S=Domination and Submission S/M=Sadism and Masochism. Some people prescribe to just one of those while others might enjoy all aspects. Also, within even these categories there are seemingly innumerable numbers of Kinks. Some kinks do center around humiliation or degradation. A submissive may enjoy these things in various forms--whether it's physical, emotional, or mental.

So yes... some people my prefer a flavor of BDSM which is more degrading to the submissive, but not ALL BDSM is oriented that way. Some seem submission and dominance as complimentary gifts to be given and accepted by one another--that there is beauty in the dynamic. I know that for our own dynamic... trust and respect is paramount between us. Even in scenes that might be "rough" for Kitty physically, mentally, or emotionally... we have discussed the scene prior to engaging in it and have 'negotiated' what is and isn't acceptable. Along with always having safewords.

Both of us have also wondered if there are events or things that could cause a predilection for BDSM in people. It could be an interesting psychology evaluation. However, in our own sphere of friends... we haven't found any consistent theme. Folks come from all walks of life and all sorts of backgrounds and careers.

Just as I started this reply by indicating just how many varieties and flavors of BDSM there are... these are just my own thoughts and views on the matter. Depending on who you talk to, you may receive just as many answers.

There are also some great books about BDSM ('Different Loving' by Gloria Brahme, for example) and some wonderful online resources, as well. Even just to satisfy some curiosity, peeking at the forums on FetLife dot com can be an interesting adventure. As with any group, there are some who take things to greater extremes than others.

Denver CO
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TOPIC: Curiosity about the BDSM lifestyle