Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions BDSM Can a Submissive Woman Also Be a Feminist?
TOPIC: Can a Submissive Woman Also Be a Feminist?
Created by: Jason685
Original Starting post for this thread:
Or can a feminist woman be sexually submissive? This is a big issue for some. Does feminism preclude being sexually submissive OR should feminism give all women the right to choose their sexual preferences? Many are conflicted and confused on this point. Here is an interesting article on this topic. Here is one quote: "Submissive kinky women are far from the shrinking violets that BDSM's critics have characterized them as being and in many cases, they are women who know exactly what they want in a relationship." This article includes quotes from some of the top women in BDSM and sexual freedom. It is very well articulated. I think you may learn something.

Alternet d*t o*g - written by Alex Henderson entitled "Women who like to be dominated in bed. Talking to BDSM submissives."

I find that a lot of swingers are confused or conflicted about bdsm because it seems so contrary to what we are being taught about how to treat others. It seems so un-PC. Understanding and accepting our bdsm urges give us the freedom to explore and enjoy whatever is our particular desire. This article and others that I will be recommending can give you insight and perhaps the courage to step out and explore your fantasies.

GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 15   End
User Details are only visible to members.
Rabbits post is spot on.

Although for me slightly different, as much as I love my man I will never truly be sub to him, its not the way our relationship works. He is too laid back for that role, and knows all too well all the issues from my past.

Louisville KY
Username hidden
(19378 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Well said sweetie and I agree 100%. Once a trust is established, many strong women love not having to be in control for a change.

~scamp

New Orleans LA
Username hidden
(1435 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I am most certainly both. I am completely submissive to my Sweetie--well, I do have a habit of being a brat BUT that just keeps things interesting! lol I cannot imagine actually saying no to him (and meaning it) With sex and play he gets to take control completely if he wants to (and I love it when he does.)

However, I rule my own life. I'm an activist on many issues, including woman's rights. I will stand up to anyone, even my sweetie, if I think they are being sexist, classist or racist. I have no tolerance for meanness and little more for ignorance.

I also know a woman that is a "slave". Her man calls the shots all of the time. They live that lifestyle 24 hours a day. She has to ask his permission to leave his presence and if he tells her to do something she stops everything to comply--BUT she is also a highly opinionated, makes her own life decisions and has an active business career. He does not interfere with who she truly is.

I think the best Subs are strong women that can handle their own lives, have their own thoughts yet are willing and able to release all of that control to someone else. What a turn on it must be for the man to know that a strong woman willingly gives herself over so completely! Dominating a passive woman leaves little challenge.

Of course, something that people tend to forget is that in the end the Sub is actually the one in charge. That's what the "safety word" is there for. If the Sub wants things to stop, she has that complete control. A true Sub isn't actually forced, she chooses to submit.

~rabbit~

New Orleans LA
Username hidden
(1435 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I like to reread all the ignorant shit that we post from time to time. Ms. Cougar's light bondage issues are so different from me than from a BF. We wrestle around and I'll pin her down. Shortly she wants me to lighten up so we can fuck/make love. When she is with a BF she wants him to make her feel what she is doing is very illicit . Kinda like he is taking something and she under pressure giving something that neither one of them have a right to.

Charlie

Fort Myers FL
Username hidden
(820 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Interesting question and it goes back to the beginnings of the Women's Movement. There were two main camps that butted heads with each other. One said women must be free of sex and being seen as sexual was demeaning (seeing it as a masculine demand imposed upon women) . The other camp said women must be free to have the sex as they wished, whenever and whoever they wished on equal footing with the perceived sexual freedom of men. The two that most exemplified this were Gloria Steinem and Betty Frenen who frequently butted heads over this.

In the latter view, women are free to be sexual as much as they want and in any ways they want. Being dominatrix or submissive are equally valid from a feminist point of view because you are free to choose as you like. So there is nothing inconsistent with submissive and feminist (just don't let Gloria Steinem know, lol).

Newark DE
Username hidden
(1 post)
User Details are only visible to members.
I was telling Ms.Cougar about his thread last night. and she said how much she enjoys being held down by a strong man with arms above head(I do it to her all the time) but I realized last night just exactly how much she loves it. She doesn't even want to be able to move her arms. She loves that powerless feeling when a nice cock is in her pussy. One thing though when she says let go it's best to let go lol. trust me I have wrestled with her enough

Charlie

Fort Myers FL
Username hidden
(820 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Feminism should be the right of a woman to be what she wants to be, right?

A woman who realizes that her sexual desires are to be submissive would be feminist if she embraced and expressed her desires confidently. Just as a woman who wants to be a housewife can be a housewife while supporting the right for another woman to be a CEO if that is what she wanted.

A better question might be: Why do some seem to think that a woman who wants to be submissive or wants to be the stereotypical "kept" woman is unable to be a feminist?

Longwood FL
Username hidden
(1 post)
User Details are only visible to members.
To answer the OP yes if by feminist you mean an emotionally stable,assertive take no shit kinda chick . My girl was my business manager for years and still is. If I was short handed on a pour she'd put on her boots and get right in the thick of the operation. Then that night she'd put on her silk boxers and a skimpy top and cuddle next to me on the couch and seduce me and as tired as I was she was always successful . Once in the bedroom she has always wanted to to be held tight, kissed deep and fucked slow,hard and deep(well as deep as I can go lol) but she also likes the feeling of a strong man that is passionate that will hold her down and make her feel as if he is taking something from her but the truth of the matter is she is taking something from him. So yeah a feminist can be very submissive

Charlie

Fort Myers FL
Username hidden
(820 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I'm one of those women... I'm in charge of the kids; I'm in charge of the house; I'm in charge of dinner; I'm in charge of the Booster organization, etc. so when it comes to sex I just want a man to be in charge!

Visalia CA
Username hidden
(140 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I understand the "spirit" of Lost's comment, I was just clarifying.

DD, I've heard that for years, and even though some judge the behavior odd, it seems many find it very rewarding and even therapeutic. I say as long as no one is being harmed (that doesn't want to be), get your D/s on and work it. LOL.

Feminism is like so many other things we deal with in these few days we have on the big blue marble. Some feel you're not a REAL feminist unless you're out marching in parades or just generally trying to break the balls of every guy you know. We fully support women's rights and equality on every level and in every facet of life, but my wife loves a guy who takes the lead in the bedroom. It's one of the reasons we clicked from the beginning and have been together for so long.

Orlando FL
Username hidden
(5951 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 15   End
TOPIC: Can a Submissive Woman Also Be a Feminist