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BDSM tendencies Inherent or learned : Swingers Discussion 39947101
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TOPIC: BDSM tendencies Inherent or learned
Created by: livewire68 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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a:

Exactly. The sub has all the choices. The dom can then choose to play or not. The sub sets the rules, limits, the entire scene. I always retained the choice to safe word out..if I needed to. I needed to safe word twice. He immediately stopped, canceled the scene, and never asked for that again. He respected my submission. I know he was disappointed. That didn't matter. I trusted him all the more because he braked so quickly.

I miss him. He does not exist any more. sigh. I will always retain his teaching, lessons, attitude, and limits.

Mischief<--good to be ruined the first time out.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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Ditto Missy...great post

No cat fight. I'm not fighting. I'm seriously disagreeing. I don't care how you practice WIITWD. My only concern is the misrepresentation of BDDsSM on a public forum.

Fling what you can at me. I stand my ground. I have an investment in the BDSM scene being represented accurately.

-The beauty of the dance. -The minds intertwined. -The love, trust, respect,

Even if it's not that for all, so be it.

My counter point has been made. I rest my case. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Mischief.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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Here is my opinion. Yes I have been on both sides. Victim and Non Victim. But as someone before being victimized, I was a shy, scared, introverted girl with extremely low self esteem. Through my life I have had to deal with alot of ugly demons. I could have went either way. Given in to it, or overcome it. I pulled myself out and overcame it. I like to call myself a "butterfly". Because of my experiences in life , and overcoming them, I am today a strong, assertive, confident woman. Everyone that truly knows me, knows that my Dom personality doesn't just play out in bedroom fun. Its who I am 24\7. Was I born a Dom? No. Did I become one through experiantion? No. My life and experiences made me who I am. A proud, Assertive, Confident Agressive, Dominant Woman. In and out of the bedroom or dungeon, lol... The victim No More!!!!

Missy

Pittsburgh PA
 
 
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There was no abuse anywhere here, we just decided to explore it and after doing so realized that we both enjoyed the "result".

Center Valley PA
 
 
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I am dominant in my bones. It’s inherent in my being. If there is a power vacuum, I will step in. I was sexually assaulted at 4. I attacked the perpetrator the next day. I threw mud all over his business shack. My dominance is not dependant on others. I just am. If someone in control is competent I have no problem.

Dominance is about responsibility, taking action, controlling yourself-first. My dominance manifests it’s self when persons perceived as weaker are abused or taken advantage of.

Most who know me personally, can’t imagine me as submissive. I am extremely submissive. It is not learned. My submission slept waiting for the right man to grab me. I didn’t see it coming. A gentleman I picked up in a swing club perceived me as worthy of teaching. He became my Mentor in an instant. He merely reached over an took possession. Sigh.

My submissive response is has only been tripped by 3 men. I top females. I am not submissive to women. This is specific to my history, emotional make up, and experience.

Part of my responsibility as a practitioner of BDSM is first and foremost to help others stay safe. It doesn’t matter what my role is. Dominant, submissive, switch. This is a dangerous game if not played with knowledge, skill, and a constant eye to safety.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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"my circle of friends comprised of those who would do things my way. ***** And if they didn't, or suddenly stopped, I'd kick them out in the most humiliating way, and regardless of what they did, they were never allowed back into my circle." *******

This isn't dominant/sadistic. It's being a jerk/abuser. The public punishment/banishment was meant as a warning to other "friends" in YOUR circle. The reason it's not OK/dominant? It wasn't a BDSM scene. It was you enforcing your selfish wants, needs, and desires. It was/is abuse. Abuse has nothing to do with BDSM or domination. The abuse you perpetrated comes from the same sources as other abuse.

It was/is? all about your need for control, attention, and power at all costs. This is NOT BDSM. BDSM is all about consent. This is the stuff of DSM-IV.

Note: NEVER use a sock or soft fabric as a gag. Your gagee could suffocate. Only use approved devices or make safe ones. Plans can be found on the internet.

I will not co-sign abuse/unsafe play descriptions especially on a non-BDSM site! Cosigning=silence.

Mischief practices RACK. Risk Aware, Consensual, Kink.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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For him it was part of the normal scheme of things mentally , for her once we experimented and she reached subspace that did it for her and we've always played the way we do.

Center Valley PA
 
 
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TOPIC: BDSM tendencies Inherent or learned