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TOPIC: BDSM Cliff Notes needed
Created by: USTO24U The original post for this thread was deleted.
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love to have wife/mistress tie and tourment me. nipple clamps are about the only pain, and its kind of erotic when she takes them off.

No pain necessary just erotic fun

SWAK

Stevensville MD
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We then agree. Thanks for your direct, respectful response. Based on your posts, I sense we would agree on many things related to the scene. I reacted because I felt it was too harsh of a response. Besides, I like to see how folks describe WIITWD*.

Mischief

*What it is that we do. (for the lurkers)

Glen Burnie MD
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Since this is the BDSM "FORUM." AND forums are used for discussing subjects. Your criticism would apply to all topics involving question. In other words, there would be NO forum. Everyone would access google and find the likes of Castle Realm and other such drool.

This was exactly the correct place to ask such a question. This is exactly the correct place to get an answer. Dialog is the relevant key here.

I expect to see NO questions from either of you since you can look it up.

Bifem_top a.k.a. Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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M/s for us allows bliss in defined roles and duties. We think of it more in terms of a 50's marriage, kind of "Father Knows Best". He will always have final say, she will always be respected and listened to. She serves, he often serves by being served. We each validate the other, enhance the other, and keep each day as a special celebration of union.

We understand the realities of control, the strength of obedience, and the connections and spiritual awakening possible in the intense psychodramas of our scenes. We have just chosen another way to express our love, no one wants to say better or worse, just ours.

Phoenix AZ
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Hi,

You say that you can't see how many BDSM activities fit into a mutually respectful and loving relationship, and that's cool. It can be a paradox. But just think....how many, many people fail to understand how non-monogamy fits into a mutually respectful, loving, ethical relationship? Some people can't fathom how or why I would "let" my partner hurt me or why he would want to, just as some people can't fathom how we could ever consider sexually, or even emotionally, sharing the person we love.

I can't explain why I like what I do. I'm just wired differently mentally and physically. And it's okay, for me. It works, for me. I have a wonderful relationship.

Farmington MO
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USTO:

You are very welcome. Now. Can you explain what childbirth is like? The only thing in my mind that is comes close? A MASSIVE painful BM.

Seriously kidding.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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Poly:

This is what I meant about vanilla swingers. There's no way to easily understand BDSM. It's like trying to explain color to a blind person. It generates confusion. You do WHAT? to the person you love the most??

I'm not saying I told you so. I'm merely pointing out the confusion in non-BDSM folks who KNOW you.

Swingers have their own issues. People understand and partly accept cheating. Tell them your husband knows and approves of your outside sexual activity. They will freak! Call you names. Generally, bash and trash you for being HONEST with your spouse.

I throw no stones.

BiFem_Top

Glen Burnie MD
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We have managed to intertwine it within our marriage for 25 years. Respect and trust are key as is the desire to learn and admit mistakes when they happen. Playing in a dungeon can be fun and reaching subspace is the the payback for us.

Center Valley PA
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These behaviors: submission, dominance, humiliation, Pain production, sexual stimulation etc. Generate a chemical soup.

Fear= Adrenaline Sex=pleasure chemicals (dopamine etc) Pain= Endorphins (natural morphine) Dominance=Power. Pleasure in controlling the scene. Submission= Letting go. Pleasure of having someone pay total attention to you. This soup make folks VERY high.

Emotionally BDSM play allows some to blow off emotional baggage. Anger is not a part of safe BDSM play. However all of the above allows the person to move far, far away from the realities of everyday existence.

The main woman I play with uses painful play to get rid of emotional pain. It’s her medication. It works. It’s why troubled folks cut themselves. The physical pain is easier to process..

Why do I do what I do? What benefits has the scene provided me with?

-I can no longer be humiliated. -I have a psychological construct that allows me to remain in control in those rare instances I have been hysterical -It allowed me to process, grab a hold of and resolve my issues around my childhood molestation. -It bonded me to my Mentor. It’s a mental bond that can never be broken. -I have the confidence to turn on a dime, reversing a scene, and switching into a nurturing role. -I have learned very clearly who I am. -The power rush of having a woman at your feet, trusting you, and having that power used precisely, correctly, and completely is huge. -The rush of having a very strong, skilled, man focus totally on you is delicious.

The thing that is confusing about BDSM is what you see is NOT what is going on. You see someone tied up and being beaten by another. Beaten to the point of bruises, welts, and other lovely marks. The person looks totally helpless. The truth is the reverse of what you see. The person having all those awful things done to them is in total control of the scene. There is intense communication/constant feedback that is unseen. The receiver only has to make their safe sign. The giver will stop on a dime.

Another thing not evident?. The receiver looks weaker than the giver. They are in fact of the same strength. They are finely balanced. For a REAL powerXchange to occur the receiver must have some power to give up. The Giver must know what to do with that power. No one want’s to hang a mouse head on the wall. No one wants a doormat either.

This is the first blush of this DEEP subject. Some call it the abyss. I agree it is an abyss.

Sighs at the thought of her Mentor. The evil, kinky, bastard. ruined me for life..

Glen Burnie MD
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I will attempt to answer your questions. It’s like describing childbirth to a woman that’s never had a child. Words can only do so much. This is MY take. Other’s MMV.

The goal of BDSM behavior is to: -Alter the senses in a deliberate way. -Rebalance the psyche. -Bond deeply with another person. -Blow off steam. -Convert emotional pain into physical pain. -Enhance sex.

Many BDSM activities can permanently hurt the other. Hence, formal BDSM is a set of guidelines, behaviors, techniques, and actions that safely provide the above. The mantra for many is RACK. Responsible, Aware, Consensual, Kink. Some make fun of RACK. I don’t. It describes exactly what happens for many.

The “classic” BDSM scene involves a very powerful man (captain of a corporation) who secretly goes to a Mistress. She “makes” him wear diapers, worship her, grovel at her feet. Etc. Why would he do this? Why would he pay hundreds of dollars to be treated like this? Simply it balances out his psyche. It’s a huge relief to let go of the life altering decisions and allow someone else to put you in your place. Very high to very low.

The reverse is true. Some one who isn’t very powerful in public life can develop a role of a dominant.

The bonding that can occur is intense. You let a person inside your mind. Into you deepest places, where your fear is kept. They guide the entire journey, safely to a conclusion.

Glen Burnie MD
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TOPIC: BDSM Cliff Notes needed