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BDSM + Swing = More Fun : Swingers Discussion 199031
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TOPIC: BDSM Swing = More Fun
Created by: Jason685
Original Starting post for this thread:
I am one of those optimistic types who think bdsm and swing can go together very well. To that end, I have created a group and a newsletter and now a forum topic dedicated to this pursuit. I have written 9 newsletters so far. Mostly dedicated to beginners and novices. They are all called BDSM + Swing = More Fun. It seems impossible to find my newsletter. This website can be kinda clunky and I haven't figured out it's nuances. I don't know how to make it visible to you or how you can search for it. I don't know how this system works to promote it. So I am going to post excerpts here for discussion. The only way I know of for you to read the newsletter is for me to invite you. So I will invite people who post here. The newsletter will serve as a starting point for new discussions. From what I have seen there is a lively debate amongst some members. I like that. I would love to hear comment on the first 9 issues. Are they useful for newbies? You tell me.

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I enjoy roleplaying as dom with women, men and couples. I have no desire to be submissive. Like swinging, it is just another sexual variation I occasionally enjoy.

I've been with several swinging couples who wanted to add some BDSM aspects to their swingplay. It was strictly roleplay with either the male or the female wanting to used by their mate and me. Light bondage, spanking, mild pain annd toyplay were involved. The submissive partner was required to worship his/her doms bodies and submit himself/herself to their sexual desires, which they did eagerly. It was nothing really hardcore and the submissive was really the one in control.

It works the other way too. There are BDSM couples who are in 24/7 dom/sub or domme/sub relationships who are not into club or group/munch scenes. They prefer to occasionally add swinging to their BDSM play by occasionally inviting a third or a couple. I've been with 2 full time domme/sub couples. In both encounters, the domme sought an assistant dom to add an element of the unknown and force her sub into same sex play and humiliation such as swinging cuckold couples enjoy. She was in total control of the scene. I followed her lead and learned a few things in the process that I hope will make me a better amateur dom in future roleplay scenes.

Kennesaw GA
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Sorry, I had to delete my post. SOMEONE chose to use that as ammunition to try to embarrass the lady I was with. Apparently discretion is not a part of the LS for some. And the sad part is, the woman I was with wasn't even the person this idiot is trying to "out".

Youngstown OH
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Exactly!

Youngstown OH
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Agree Nic. If BDSM is not your thing then stay away from people that do enjoy it and respect it.

Los Angeles CA
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We enjoy both sexual activities. We do light BDSM and we swing! I love to spank women hard in the ass with my hand. And my wife loves it as well. I do use a soft whip on her ass from time to time. She loves to be a sub and get fucked hard while being choked lightly. She also loves her nipples lightly bitten and I as well. Were not hardcore BDSM'ers but we do enjoy some of it. And will be going to BDSM clubs in the future.

Los Angeles CA
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Wow. First post in 839 days. Thanks for posting. The newsletter function sucks here. There is no way to search. Basically I have abandoned the newsletter and now all posts are part of our group discussions. I will send you an invitation.

BDSM + Swing = More Fun Group

The bdsm here on SLS is challenging. I have had success just by keeping interested in teaching others. People are more comfortable just because we make it easy and we have been here awhile.

Part of my kink is turning vanilla women in to submissive girls for my pleasure.

Green Bay WI
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I noticed that the Search for Newsletters is not yet available, so even with your Forum Post people can't get to your Newsletter. Appears to me the only way right now is through the invite and people letting you know on the Forum they are interested.

Good concept.

We read the BDSM Forums, they can be off putting and aggressive toward swingers that might have an interest, even if its mostly voyeuristic or passing in nature. I'd think your optimistic and instructive out reach and 'combo' angle might have value to those that are looking into it. I recall an old Sunday School lesson, essentially that if you want people to eat at your restaurant, you don't run around telling them how bad the other restaurants are, you simply tell them about your restaurant and let them see for themselves. Good luck with the gospel of BDSM to Swingers, I'd think there would be many complimentary crossover possibilities.

Oklahoma City OK
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"It's the domination and submission part that turns most swingers off, not the activities. "

IMHO it's also the work involved. A D/s relationship requires even more effort than a swinging one! Communication needs to be even more intense and consistent, the Dominant also has the added responsibility of 'managing' everything detail of a scene down to the smallest detail.

In my experience, even those swingers that enjoy the kink of BDSM and D/s(and we play with a few) really just want to have fun in the bedroom and then leave it till next time. Most D/s couples I know are more 'serious' than that, even if they are not 24/7.

East Fishkill NY
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For those of you who are experienced swingers with bdsm experience, what advice would you give newbies? We know there are swingers who want to know more and experience more with bdsm. What is the problem with attracting them? Do we expect too much of beginners? I curious because I want beginners to be successful. So I can play with them. BDSM with benefits. So what advice do you have for beginners and for those optimists like me who are bound and determined to ferret out the bdsm prospects in my area. And what about all of us here talking about how hard it is to find swinging players. Are you playing with other bdsm swingers? It seems we're out here, but there is some disconnect, somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it.

Green Bay WI
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Here are the first two paragraphs of Issue 9: A lot of people think that bdsm play is weird, or freaky or dangerous or any of 100 adjectives that one could use to describe some types of bdsm play. And they would be right, but only in some cases. When you view bdsm only through stereotypical lenses you really risk missing the essence of bdsm and you are likely to miss the types of play you would enjoy. For example someone might say that bdsm is all about pain and they don’t like pain. Yet they may enjoy a spanking, or nipple squeezes. So one might enjoy some or a little pain but not a lot of or extreme pain. So sometimes we are only talking about degrees of effect.

So if one is not careful, it is easy to confuse the essence of bdsm (domination and submission) with the expression of d/s play. In my mind, the essence of all bdsm, is that it is about one person dominating and controlling and the other person is submissive and surrenders control. Everything else is just how we express our domination or our surrender. They are styles of play, types of tools and many toys but it is still about one person controlling another and the other person submitting. When couples have this dynamic in mind when they play, they can invent all kinds of play, and they can choose only those things that they both like. One does not have to be extreme to enjoy bdsm. In fact, I would guess that many people enjoy mild bedroom bdsm and never do the crazy sh*t that is so often depicted as average bdsm. To read the rest of the newsletter send me a request for an invite.

Green Bay WI
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TOPIC: BDSM Swing = More Fun