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BDSM + Swing = More Fun : Swingers Discussion 199031
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TOPIC: BDSM Swing = More Fun
Created by: Jason685
Original Starting post for this thread:
I am one of those optimistic types who think bdsm and swing can go together very well. To that end, I have created a group and a newsletter and now a forum topic dedicated to this pursuit. I have written 9 newsletters so far. Mostly dedicated to beginners and novices. They are all called BDSM + Swing = More Fun. It seems impossible to find my newsletter. This website can be kinda clunky and I haven't figured out it's nuances. I don't know how to make it visible to you or how you can search for it. I don't know how this system works to promote it. So I am going to post excerpts here for discussion. The only way I know of for you to read the newsletter is for me to invite you. So I will invite people who post here. The newsletter will serve as a starting point for new discussions. From what I have seen there is a lively debate amongst some members. I like that. I would love to hear comment on the first 9 issues. Are they useful for newbies? You tell me.

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"It's the domination and submission part that turns most swingers off, not the activities. "

IMHO it's also the work involved. A D/s relationship requires even more effort than a swinging one! Communication needs to be even more intense and consistent, the Dominant also has the added responsibility of 'managing' everything detail of a scene down to the smallest detail.

In my experience, even those swingers that enjoy the kink of BDSM and D/s(and we play with a few) really just want to have fun in the bedroom and then leave it till next time. Most D/s couples I know are more 'serious' than that, even if they are not 24/7.

East Fishkill NY
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For those of you who are experienced swingers with bdsm experience, what advice would you give newbies? We know there are swingers who want to know more and experience more with bdsm. What is the problem with attracting them? Do we expect too much of beginners? I curious because I want beginners to be successful. So I can play with them. BDSM with benefits. So what advice do you have for beginners and for those optimists like me who are bound and determined to ferret out the bdsm prospects in my area. And what about all of us here talking about how hard it is to find swinging players. Are you playing with other bdsm swingers? It seems we're out here, but there is some disconnect, somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it.

Green Bay WI
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Here are the first two paragraphs of Issue 9: A lot of people think that bdsm play is weird, or freaky or dangerous or any of 100 adjectives that one could use to describe some types of bdsm play. And they would be right, but only in some cases. When you view bdsm only through stereotypical lenses you really risk missing the essence of bdsm and you are likely to miss the types of play you would enjoy. For example someone might say that bdsm is all about pain and they don’t like pain. Yet they may enjoy a spanking, or nipple squeezes. So one might enjoy some or a little pain but not a lot of or extreme pain. So sometimes we are only talking about degrees of effect.

So if one is not careful, it is easy to confuse the essence of bdsm (domination and submission) with the expression of d/s play. In my mind, the essence of all bdsm, is that it is about one person dominating and controlling and the other person is submissive and surrenders control. Everything else is just how we express our domination or our surrender. They are styles of play, types of tools and many toys but it is still about one person controlling another and the other person submitting. When couples have this dynamic in mind when they play, they can invent all kinds of play, and they can choose only those things that they both like. One does not have to be extreme to enjoy bdsm. In fact, I would guess that many people enjoy mild bedroom bdsm and never do the crazy sh*t that is so often depicted as average bdsm. To read the rest of the newsletter send me a request for an invite.

Green Bay WI
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Here are the titles of the first nine newsletters. BDSM + Swing = More Fun Swinging and BDSM What's the Deal with Pain Styles of BDSM Play Safe, Sane and Consensual How to Get Started Parts 1,2,3 Negotiation Safe Words BDSM is Just too F***ing Weird

Green Bay WI
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(166 posts)
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I am one of those optimistic types who think bdsm and swing can go together very well. To that end, I have created a group and a newsletter and now a forum topic dedicated to this pursuit. I have written 9 newsletters so far. Mostly dedicated to beginners and novices. They are all called BDSM + Swing = More Fun. It seems impossible to find my newsletter. This website can be kinda clunky and I haven't figured out it's nuances. I don't know how to make it visible to you or how you can search for it. I don't know how this system works to promote it. So I am going to post excerpts here for discussion. The only way I know of for you to read the newsletter is for me to invite you. So I will invite people who post here. The newsletter will serve as a starting point for new discussions. From what I have seen there is a lively debate amongst some members. I like that. I would love to hear comment on the first 9 issues. Are they useful for newbies? You tell me.

Green Bay WI
Username hidden
(166 posts)
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TOPIC: BDSM Swing = More Fun