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A misbehaving Sub : Swingers Discussion 1710641079
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TOPIC: A misbehaving Sub
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Good suggestion about removing the BDSM

Pensacola FL
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(7 posts)
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I was half asleep when I posted that sorry you are absolutely right! lol Anyway I will always admitt if I've made a mistake.

Pittsgrove NJ
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I know Seduction, I thought of you as I was typing that ;-)

Lineboro Cpo MD
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JFYI, a dom is a *dominant*. What he does is *dominate*. A very common error, but it does sound better if you can use these two words correctly.

Lineboro Cpo MD
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When you find a dominate that you click with, he will tune into your desires and also the things that you never thought you would do. Things that you were afraid to try or didn't even know would turn you on. He takes you into play that is exciting, and sometimes even scary. It's about trust and knowing this man will see your limits and test your limits. If your playing with a dom that can't tune into you, it is obvious. You become able to predict what he will do. You can feel his insecurities about the situation. At that point I become bored, I become turned off and want to just kick his pathetic ass out the door. There are men who claim to be dominates and if you listen to them and get to know them, they can be revealed as fakes. They are not truly dominate they just are pretending they are to simply play with you. I suggest taking any suggestions about wanting domination out of in your profile. You will simply be a magnet for losers who know nothing about being a dom. They will want to walk into play with extreme measures, or less than wanted play. You could get hurt especially when they don't know what the hell they are doing and your their victim. Be careful honey.

Pittsgrove NJ
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Thank you to everyone's thoughts, opinions, and guidance. This is truly a learning experience. Especially on self-discovery and what I really want, need, and turns me on. I'm recently getting out of a 10 year marriage. We starting swinging a month after we got married, but the swinging by my standards now was quite tame. Since becoming single, I'm on a new mission to exploring MY fantasies, my desires, my true being. I'm have fantasies, but I'm most interested in discovering realities I have not yet dreamt up.

*BIFEM4YOU asked "is it that you are finding yourself or finally accepting really who you are all this time?" I feel it's mostly finding myself, the true me. And then being able to accept. I think earlier in my life, I was hiding, shielding, unwilling to share that part of me.*

I enjoy submitting, being controlled. I really discovered that this morning twice. First was being told to do something that to date has been the only thing to push my boundaries because I felt it was a bit gross and taboo for me to do. But then it made me excited and want to do it. So I did, and I did like it. Second - I'm in a developing relationship with a single guy. I really like him, but a bit reluctant to make it an 'exclusive' swinging partnership - where we only swing together as a couple, and no playing without the other (because of me being so recently single. I want to be free and uncommitted for a while.) We discussed over breakfast this predicament I'm having. Because I want to keep him as my primary focus and don't want to negatively affect our current and future relationship. So he said came up with a solution, that whenever I seriously entertain the idea of meeting with a single guy or couple, I must ask him, give him the details, and he decides for me yes or no. God, the way he said it and how authoritatively he said it, it fucking totally turned me on. It really surprised me that I was going to feel that way. Because previously I thought if he threw those types of restrictions on me, I would be upset or feel stifled. But knowing that I had to ask his permission to be with anyone else other than him and him being in control of that part of life, it was sooo hot.

*BIFEM also said "Or returning home from work, his partner should be on her knees with her mouth open. A feeling of being owned is what I want to achieve." That thought turns me on. I want that feeling of being owned and controlled. But I think what I have been doing previously is trying to weed out and test who is TRULY capable of doming me.

I think that also when I'm difficult and resist, I'm acting out my rape/being ravished fantasies.

I should also mention that I am a Gemini, and might explain why I enjoy playing on both sides of the fence!

Last night was the first time we played as a couple. Previously it was just him and I one-on-one. We played with a single girl. I had my period and was feeling a bit jealous that she would get to be fucking him and I wouldn't be able to participate as much as I wanted. But to watch him with her, the look on his face, how he touched, it was a total turn-on as well. Being a supplement to his actions with her wasn't so bad!

Pensacola FL
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either u r comitted 2 being dominated or ur not .there is no middle ground. at least in my humble opinion. i know the consequences if i move when im told not 2 or if i speak when im ordered to remain silent. its all up 2 me. and i agree with others who have posted when they say .she hasnt met a real dom yet. truley if i tried 2 scratch or bite i wouldnt be comfortable sitting 4 a week or so. over the years we have grown . my outlook on things has changed dramatically. hubbys pleasure is somethingthat is expected whenever and wherever he wishes. my pleasure is something that has to be earned. i have gone nearly 6 months without being allowed to orgasm. though he came down my throat nearly every day. like i said itsa state of mind . u either submit totally or why bother Bel

Carmichael CA
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Kitty ~ you certainly hit the nail on the head w/ "Rather than finding someone who could force submission from, I discovered someone who inspired me to be submissive. I submit to him out of a desire to please him and to make him proud. In turn, he extends his Dominance to me and I feel very safe with him. We trust each other implicitly."

I had it copied for my response b/f I read Kats. LOL!

If someone had to attempt to force me to submit, it would just never happen b/c submission is something that can't be forced out of me. We've had more than a few discussions here about the semantics of BDsM regarding submission being taken, earned, demanded, etc. and there are several different opinions. For me, if I'm not willing, there is nothing that anyone could do to make me submit. It's just not in my nature. But someone that inspires me to submit, then takes me ~ that's the real deal for me and it's what works. And OH MY! It makes me blissful!!!

Jackson MS
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My first thoughts on reading this was that many of these thoughts sound really, really familiar. (This is Kitty writing) When I first started exploring BDSM for myself and being submissive I often thought that I needed to find someone who could physically subdue me. I felt that if someone couldn't do that physically and mentally then how could they actually dominate me? I didn't want to be considered a doormat or viewed to be "less" because I was submissive so it seemed that having only select individuals who could dominate me would make me seem less "weak" or whatnot. However, since that time I've realized that one of the 'tricks' to submission is that if it is taken from you it's more akin to abuse. Granted, there can be scenarios that are negotiated to be more like a rape scene or that the submissive is 'forced' to do something--but those have been discussed beforehand. For myself, I found that submission meant that I gave it freely to my Dominant and he in turn accepted both my submission and me. Rather than finding someone who could force submission from, I discovered someone who inspired me to be submissive. I submit to him out of a desire to please him and to make him proud. In turn, he extends his Dominance to me and I feel very safe with him. We trust each other implicitly. So, is your behavior normal sub behavior? Well, as you said you are just beginning to explore. Perhaps you should ask what submission means to you. Some have mentioned that you could be a Smart-Assed-Masochist and that's certainly possible. (I am a pain-slut, myself, but I do not like being a SAM) Could also be that you're trying to 'top' from the bottom without realizing it--do you feel comfortable with the men who are Dom'ing you? If not, you could certainly be trying to retain some control. Very often, negotiating before any play can relive some mid-play stress or worries. If you ever want to do some reading a GREAT resource is "Different Loving" by Gloria Brahme. I highly recommend it along with "Screw me the Roses, Send me the Thorns."

Denver CO
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"Or returning home from work, his partner should be on her knees with her mouth open. A feeling of being owned is what I want to achieve. A partner where I make no choices, or decisions, and ultimately owned. "

That's cool....but not what I'm interested in.

Pittsburgh PA
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TOPIC: A misbehaving Sub