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TOPIC: A misbehaving Sub
Created by: NaughtyFilly
Original Starting post for this thread:
I've been experimenting in sub/dom play the past couple months with a few different guys, with me being the 'sub' the vast majority of the time. I've done a little bit of reading up on sub/dom play, and confused a bit about where my behavior and how I want to interact with the dom fit into this all. What I mean is that I fantasize about being dominated, but in reality, when I'm dominated, I purposely sometimes refuse, I am difficult, mouth off, bite him, or try and get away from hold. I think it's more fun that way and I want to see how the dom handles my disobedience, see what they are made out of, and to get them more worked up. I guess I want to see how far they will take it. I have not yet reached 'my limit' (not really sure what that is yet...). I just really like putting up a fight. I stop fighting back sometimes to make the guy feel they do indeed have power over me. Only ocasionally have I been in situations where I have been tied up or held down that I didn't think I could physically get out of it (I liked those the best). Additionally, I occasionally do like to hold people (men and women) down, slap, bite, pinch, and tell people what to do, but most of the them I want to feel someone trying to power me over. Based on my behavior, is this 'normal' sub behavior? Would you even call me a 'sub'?? Or is there another name for my behavior/role??

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Two ways to look at this:

1) You both are happy playing this way, and she knows you will use physical force to make her do what you want her to do. That's why we have safewords -- when "no" doesn't mean no. So it's all well and good.

2) If you're not happy that she's playing this way, she's controlling the session every time she starts to struggle. That's called topping from the bottom, and you'll have to stop the session and explain why it's unacceptable. If it recurs, send her home. If it happens in the next session, see my answer to your post in the topic above.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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The husband here

I have a sub I play with and she will try and get away from me when I want to penetrate her, she will try for a few second but I keep coming at her and I must say it is exciting. She might tell me no from time to time and she loves it if I grab he hair and force her to do what I want. I think this is all in having a good time. Now if she were to say the safe word them it all stops and we go down a different path.

Presque Isle WI
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mmm. The peace that comes over me when I am in my natural state is absolutely unexplainable. If thats even a word. See, i like it so much I invent words and shit lol.


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Interesting, I would say your dom is weak or you have not established guidelines. The D/S role is simple its either 24/7 or just role playing D/S. Either way my guess is you are not receiving gratification from it. A Dom gets your juices flowing by his or her empowerment that creates your compliance. Once your craving is created your submission becomes willful.

Middletown NY
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Micro managing should never be confused with dominance!

Certainly a dominant would get that.

The one thing that is universal to all natural dominants. They live the way they see fit. Not the way some Internet whip wielder, rope bondage afecionado wants them to live.

This is precisely why our power interaction and BDSM is not something we share.

What you do may work for you, tying up your spouse and occasional curious swinger is what you interpret as BDSM. Good for you!

Rumson NJ
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*I simply love it, when people that I've never met tell me that I'm living a myth, fucking fascinating I say!"

Did your dominant tell you to post this message? Did he approve what you wrote?

Did he tell you when to get up this morning and go to bed last night?

Did he tell you what you were allowed to eat and when?

Did he tell you what to wear?

Did he tell you when you were allowed to go to the bathroom?

Did he specify what you were to do with your time?

Does he tell you how to vote? Whom you may have as friends?

No?

I thought not.

I'm perfectly happy with the idea that you might be his submissive 24/7. And that you might feel submissive to him 24/7. But I'm sure he does not control everything you do 24/7/365. Nor would he want to.

The fact is that doms and subs do play strict control like the above for short periods of time. But what works for a weekend doesn't work for a lifetime. Life does get in the way, as I said.

But those who aren't familiar with BDSM often think that 24/7/365 is how it does work, which is why I thought it important to clear up the myth.

ST

Kitty Hawk NC
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*Second, BDSMers aren't into the lifestyle 24/7/365. That's a myth kept alive by people who don't try to do it. What does happen is that a dom can put his partner into the submissive mode at any time. But real life gets in the way of nonsense like 24/7/365 D/s.*

I simply love it, when people that I've never met tell me that I'm living a myth, fucking fascinating I say!

Rumson NJ
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" Might not work for everyone, and some 24/7 BDSMers would find us "not truly practicing BDSM" but the hell with them. It works for us."

Bravo!

Pittsburgh PA
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Male Half Posting: It's all about what works for you. We find our play is not always the same. She got into this from reading, so we know many of the fiction characters well. If I say "That's enough Ana" (from Shades), she knows I'm not taking the sessoin too seriously--she is free to be her own occasonally rebellious & independant self. If I say "That's enough 'O'," (Story of O) she knows she is to shut up, submit, and be my pleasure toy. If I say "That's enough Beauty" (from the Beauty series) she knows she is owned, dominated and bound to every whim of mine. In any given session, I only have to say it once and she knows what is expected of her. (Sometimes I get a kick out of mis-behaving Ana - it is challenging.) Might not work for everyone, and some 24/7 BDSMers would find us "not truly practicing BDSM" but the hell with them. It works for us.

Alexandria VA
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I know i'm behind on posting to the original question, but thought i'd add my two cents, just cause. I tell people straight up, i'm more a brat than a true sub. If they want a doormat, they can look elsewhere. I want a man who's strong enough and smart enough to handle me.

Portsmouth VA
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TOPIC: A misbehaving Sub