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Self Esteem : Swingers Discussion 5844510101
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TOPIC: Self Esteem
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Lol if that were true, where does the line form lady, I need some bras!

Augusta NJ
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Yeah, its just how it is in this society right now. I love Victoria's Secret. But it does piss me off how all of their "angels" are 1 step up from high school student. Really, I buy that bra and I'll look like an 18 year old girl who genetically is in about 2% of the population?? I'll take one in every color.


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I am about 6 foot with my heels on :)

I think every person has something about them that they would like to change. Society pushes the skinny and beautiful crap to our children. My daughter is getting married. We had been to several bridal shops looking for "the perfect dress" Most dresses were in the smaller size range. Bridal books have all the models as being anorexic looking skinny. None of them look like your average young woman of today.

Augusta NJ
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I'm happily in the middle. At 5'6" I am not tall by any means....yet in heels I can be tall. I like where I am, happily in the middle LOL


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god, who really wants to be 19 again? I love being this age...some aches and pains, but ok, not bad for almost 50

San Antonio TX
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I find that amazing that someone would be intimidated by a short skinny woman. I have always been small and by small, I mean, tinnnnny! I am 4'11" and 100 lbs. I have always been jealous over those tall long legged women! I guess we all wish we were someone else, at times. For one day, I'd love to be tall and sexy! Tall women are sleek and sexy :) Every one of us women have something that makes us unnerved. Trust me, short and skinny isnt all its cracked up to be :)

Springfield MA
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Well...she is not alone. I stopped looking at most magazines because of the perpetuation that the American female should eternally look 19. You look at a magazine, you watch television and how can you NOT sometimes think shit, if thats how I am supposed to look.......so yes, she is not alone. Thinner is not always healthy. We ASSUME that a thin person is healthy. But 2 years ago when I was eating 500-800 calories a day....sure, I "looked" thin and healthy...but I was collapsing underneath myself. She should never think that those waif girls are automatically happy. Trust ME...they aren't always happy. Like Gina said, she has to fall in love with herself. I am 37. I was born in 1972 and that is a fact that is simply a fact. Nothing changes that and nothing will make me 19. And as I said, I can guarantee you, those thin girls are probably thinking the same thing she is to a degree.


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It's not a competition to her as you would think. I believe that she may be afraid to meet couples with smaller women for fear that she may be ignored if the night should progress to playing. I understand what you ladies are saying and she does have a lot of confidence. She just oozes sensuality and I tell her how beautiful she is all the time. But it's how she feels next to the smaller women that makes her question all of that. I'd like to thank the lovely women who did reply to this post after me. You put up a lot of good points and positive thoughts that I hope she'll take into consideration as she reads them.

Honestly, I can say that I've never met a woman with more beauty and passion, more sexual attractiveness, and sweetest personality than my wife. I really feel sorry for those who never WANT the chance to meet her because of a hang-up they might have.

Butler PA
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I thought it an interesting comment: we hear said to others what we'd like said about us. I think that's a key thing. I know there are guys who will say, "Dayum..." about a woman walking by, yet never notice if their wives have on something new, or pretty, etc. Even the old standby joke, "I told her once, so she should know" isn't too funny. All of us need to step it up in that area and let our partners know how sexy and attractive they are. If they aren't...well...that's a whole "nother" issue.

For me, it's not a competition. I don't know if that comes from swing experience, or just getting older (maturity?), but it's not about me competing with a roomful of girls half my age and 2/3 my weight. I don't need to compete for someone's attention. If someone is attracted to me, then they are attracted to me. I will wear what I feel sexy and pretty in, and I will do my hair and makeup, shave my legs, etc etc., but I will NOT feel sad or disappointed or depressed or ugly or fat or unattractive because someone chooses someone else "over me."

People prefer different things, different looks, attributes, personalities, heights, weights, colors, and so on at any given time. Sometimes I like the big burly type guys with tats and a shaved head and goatee, and sometimes I'm drawn to the professor type, quieter, reserved...and sometimes an older guy, sometimes a young dude...depends on my mood, appetites, fantasies, feelings, and such.

And then sometimes, it's just fun to have a bit of everything all at once!

For girls, I am usually attracted to women with curves, and a softness to them, but I've also been with athletic types, thin women, fit women, heavy women, old and young. Does that sound as if I will sleep with just anyone? No, not at all. I am picky, and I have to be attracted to someone. BUT...for me, that attraction varies.

I'm not sure I can even define a type that totally turns me off, but I know it when I'm around it. It includes bad hygiene, sloppiness, pushiness, men who are overly hairy and don't try to tame it somewhat, women who are careless about every aspect of their appearance and are militant about it, negativity to the point of putting me off even talking to anyone, and probably a host of other things that don't pop in my head right now.

It does seem easier to define what I don't want rather than what I do. If I meet someone and think, ok, they are just "normal looking" people, nothing outstanding, nothing more, then we get to talking and they make me laugh, stimulate my mind, pique my senses in some way, the attraction level rises fast.

Self esteem, once more, is believing what you hear about yourself. For example, a recent poster said they always heard: you're too skinny, you need to gain weight," and that's what he/she believed. That is that person's self esteem. It also includes what you tell YOURSELF. I'm working on that one. I tend to hear the negatives from others more than the positives. I'm better about it, but it's a learning process.

Take care, and learn to be attracted to YOU. Gina

San Antonio TX
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So what is the middle wieght? how do you know if you are bbw?

Summerville GA
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TOPIC: Self Esteem