Self Esteem: Swingers Discussion 58445

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TOPIC: Self Esteem

Created by: SandJinVT Original Starting post for this thread:
First, I posted this here NOT because I think any one of you have problems in this area, but because I'm finding that the women who are in this forum are more "open" about problems they might have with self esteem issues. And you may have dealt with the same problems I have in the self-esteem area. We all have them - those thoughts, those "triggers" that bring on the "self esteem" monsters. My triggers are: short, skinny women (no, I'm not kidding), large groups of people, and insults. I'm actually intimidated by short, very slim women (always have been, probably an offshoot of being 5'9" or so when I was 13). Large groups of people make me feel out of place, regardless of the situation. And insulting comments tend to make me think, "gee am I like that?" or "maybe she or he is right". I hate to feel like that, but I have no idea how to stop the thoughts from rearing their ugly head. I can usually tamp them back with some effort, but they keep coming back. Does anyone else do this, or think this? And what do you tell yourself to stop that little voice inside your head? Susan

Created by: SandJinVT
Original Starting post for this thread:

First, I posted this here NOT because I think any one of you have problems in this area, but because I'm finding that the women who are in this forum are more "open" about problems they might have with self esteem issues. And you may have dealt with the same problems I have in the self-esteem area.

We all have them - those thoughts, those "triggers" that bring on the "self esteem" monsters.  My triggers are: short, skinny women (no, I'm not kidding), large groups of people, and insults.  I'm actually intimidated by short, very slim women (always have been, probably an offshoot of being 5'9" or so when I was 13).  Large groups of people make me feel out of place, regardless of the situation.  And insulting comments tend to make me think, "gee am I like that?" or "maybe she or he is right".  

I hate to feel like that, but I have no idea how to stop the thoughts from rearing their ugly head.  I can usually tamp them back with some effort, but they keep coming back.  Does anyone else do this, or think this?  And what do you tell yourself to stop that little voice inside your head?  Susan

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User Details are only visible to members.	Introduce her to Rockies!!!
Burleson TX			Username hidden (1947 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Come to San Marcos next Sat. morning and we will go shopping at a place called Maurices. That is where I buy my ass jeans. They are more expensive than some places..but you can feel them grab you as you walk. Let me know, we will find you some good ones.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Shel!!! I need your help finding a great pair of jeans that fit me well! Now that summer is over, I wore a pair to a concert tonight, Dan took a pic, and they are BAGGY. I need them tighter in the butt and thighs. Ok, I'm glad they're baggy and not tight, but now I need new ones, and those were one of my formerly "tighter" pairs. shopping with Shel! I know you'll be honest.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6064 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Haha! Whats my excuse, I'm genetically connected to those people!! LOL
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yep. Totally understand that one. I am the only one in my family who graduated from HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, I always say I'm glad I'm adopted.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6064 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Because he "doesnt mean any harm". And truth be told, he doesn't. He was raised in very, very, VERY umm......and I do not mean this in a negative way towards people from the south, in particular the state of Ga....but my Dad's family were like crazy hillbilly people. Seriously. Like, shit from God's Little Acres type shit. I'm talking old school like the people on the Andy Griffith show that played in that band hahaha, you know who I am referring to? Those kind of people, no joke. When I was about 6 yrs old I was fighting with a little girl, I can't remember over what. My father told me "Michelle Lee, you are a G (my familial name.) If you let her whip your ass, I'll whip yours. And I'll tell you, I fought for my life. He is just that back country kind of thinking. Sometimes after I have a conversation with him I'm like omfg, I think I just lost some brain cells due to this conversation lol.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	WTF If your parents ask why they cant see your son anymore , just explain they can after they take some parenting classes. Growing up with the insensitive comments and knowing how hurtful they were to you( and still are) why would you want your son exposed to that? You are smart by keeping him away. G You both are strong, smart and beautiful woman. Never believe anything less than that from anyone.
Augusta NJ			Username hidden (16075 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Indeed! They would have so much fun with your baby, you have no idea! Yes, I am bound and determined that my children will not live with the disorders I deal with because my father does not know how to keep his mouth closed and feels that anything that was done while under the influence falls under the "I didn't mean it, I was drunk" category. I called today about the Sunset program. Ugh.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Shel, thank for sharing this. We have to keep in mind that even though they may be our "parents," that doesn't mean we owe them allegiance, especially if they continue to be hurtful. I am around mine as little as possible, and never alone anymore, because it sends me into a bad place mentally and emotionally. I like the saying, "mess with me, I'll be okay, mess with my children and I'll bury you where no one can find you." I'm glad you're that mama wolf, my dear, as you can help your kids not go through things you yourself went through. I can't wait to meet your kids. We need to have a BBQ over here or something soon. We like families. It's not ALL about swinging when we're together with our swing friends. Some are just "friends." period. hugs, Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6064 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks G, I did need that. I am tripping out lately. Thank GOD I have the ability at this point to be able to recognize when I am dysmorphic and tripping...(really, the size 6 fits well and I feel "fat"? Really Michelle?? But the brain is the strongest force in the body unfortunately). I am so angry with my father, I cannot call him for 2 days or it will not be good. My 8 year old is a big guy. He is a stocky fellow who all of the football coaches want on their team because he is just "built". He is so gentle but if he ever uses that powerful body look out. He comes to me this morning in pretty much hysterics. Apparently my Father, the individual who talked to me in this way when I was growing up, has been making comments about his weight. G, he is just like your mom. And fucking misery LOVES company. My mother? Ohhhhh, she is his biggest fucking enabler, let me tell you. He would literally beat her ass half to death and she'd make him dinner. Fuck. I am putting him in after school activities this week to keep him from seeing my parents. Over exposure to those 2 people causes mental illness. It makes me so angry. Ugh. As far as I go, I am working through this. It sucks, it really sucks. Anorexia, I can handle. Dysmorphia is the cruelest of the eating disorders. For me at least.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

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TOPIC: Self Esteem