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Over weight males in the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 1477181021
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsB.B.W.Over weight males in the lifestyle
TOPIC: Over weight males in the lifestyle
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Hey Shel is finally listing herself as bi now. May I suggest we all meet someplace and have a girls night out ;)

Augusta NJ
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You can't really say...etc...

The YOU was not directed at anyone, it was the proverbial all inclusive You.

San Antonio TX
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Seduction, we have always respected your preferences and know that while we could have a good conversation and banter with you, we would not be your sexual preference. You get flak about that enough, and people don't seem to understand it, and think you're being harsh, when, in fact, you're just being honest and true to yourselves.

DGrey..you have a gorgeous body in the pictures you display, including sexy hips and toned arms.

It certainly is important to like yourselves...you don't have to be totally happy with being overweight...no one really is happy when they are out of shape, but you should be able to dress nicely, have a sexy attitude, make the best of what you have and don't have, change what you are willing to change and work on, and not whine about what you are not. There IS someone for everyone, and all sorts of bodies are attractive to all sorts of people. You can't really say that a fit man is not going to be attracted to an overweight woman b/c it happens all the time, and so does the reverse of that.

Usually it's the individual that makes the difference there...I know whereof I speak, as I've posted before that I personally had the affirmation of changing someone's mind totally as to body type, weight, sexual attraction and desire, and the experiences left this guy open to more people than he had imagined being attracted to when he started out swinging. He willingly will talk about this with a sense of awe about it all. It's ME he found sexy, to his surprise and delight, and that goes a long way to busting some of the stereotypes we tend to find in these threads.

Yes, I am overweight. Sometimes it bothers me, but sometimes it doesn't bother me much. I still have a lot of fun with a big variety of people. Maybe it's being "older," or maybe it's just that once I'm naked and enjoying myself, the extra pounds are not on my mind then at all. Some of you have had the distinct privilege of fucking those brains right out of me...hahaha. Love it when that happens.

Seduction, your posts are always welcome. I think they're respected because you've "walked that mile in our shoes" and know what if felt like to not be where you wanted to be physically. I've never felt "threatened" or belittled by your posts. Nor do I ever feel the need to comment negatively and call fit or thin women "sticks" or other derogatory names. There should be no place for that in the forums anyway.

Shel...same for you...you've been overweight, as you state in posts and know what it's like to "not like your own body." Even women who ARE fit still struggle with some aspect of their body they may not especially like at a given moment. It's a shame we do that to each other, but even more that we do that to OURSELVES. We are our own worst enemies. Most of the time, the males in our circles do not care about some extra pounds as long as we have a sexy attitude and dress to fit our bodies. It's US who struggle with self loathing, male and female, although I think females are more vocal about it.

Why isn't it ok to like something about ourselves? I LIKE my breasts, my butt, my shoulders, my back, some of the curviness I carry, and if I don't like something, I have no one else to blame but myself. I get tired of my own whining about it and choose not to go on and on (well, I do go on and on...but on here) about not liking myself...I'd rather have FUN!

If I go out socially, I'm going to wear something I feel GOOD in, not something baggy and try to hide myself in something. That never works, as it just makes you feel worse.

Okay, a lot of thoughts rambling on here...

Find what makes you feel good about you and go from there. Don't let extra weight hold you back from a good time. Don't worry about competing with anyone for attention...just be YOU, the best you you can be and if the mind starts, the body will follow. Might take some time and work, but it WILL follow.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Dgrey, I do commend you girlie for being comfortable in your own skin. That is a true blessing, trust me. I think you are absolutely beautiful!


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I just wanted to say congrats on the weight loss. It's not easy and you did it for your health which is so important.

E

Newark NJ
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As an overweight wife of a rather fit husband, we've had some issues in the lifestyle.

However, I'm going to echo what everyone else has said about self-confidence. I know what I am and what I look like and I'm accepting of it, although doing everything in my power to change it -- for my continued good health, not vanity.

My appearance has put the kibosh on sexual activity with couples, but at the same time, we've actually made some pretty good friends.

Swinging is about fantasy fulfillment. Some have the fantasy of being with the body beautiful, and some fantasize about being with the person confident.

I'm not saying that those are the only two fantasies, but I hope my point is kind of being made.

Me personally, even though I am overweight, I am not attracted to bigger guys. That might make me a hypocrite in some people's eyes, but so be it. It's really just a matter of movement; two heavier people really can't move well together. And yes, I speak from experience.

E

Newark NJ
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I would agree that maybe it is your own feelings about YOU when you are at a heavier weight. Even when talking about the diabetes and that you are NOT going out that way...you sound very sure of yourself and confident, then when you talk about yourself being at a heavier weight, the sentences themselves sound more mild and meek...

Something to consider. It may indeed be more of the vibe you give off when you're not feeling as good about yourself. It's something most women can talk about pretty freely...we all have our days of not feeling like we look good, or maybe we're not at our best, or something we're wearing isn't fitting properly, etc. That, unfortunately, will go a long way towards squashing our good attitude.

Be the best you you can be at whatever weight you are NOW. Work on what you can, and until then, know that you are attractive in your own right, and ignore most of what your head is telling you at those times when you don't feel attractive.

Easier said than done sometimes, but keep trying, Gina

San Antonio TX
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I absolutely agree with what She said. And another thing...remember that women LOVE confidence. We ADORE a confident man. I think that your weight gain has hit your self confidence and we can definately detect that. If you feel like you need to lose, take control back by eating properly and exercising. That in itself usually is a great confidence booster.


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The one statement in your profile MIGHT scare some men away.

"Oh yea, She also has this thing about wanting to use her strap-on on a guy"

Augusta NJ
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I just looked at your profile picts and I would not look at you as being grossly overweight you look like the average man that we have seen at M&Gs. Perhaps it is something else that is turning these people off.

Augusta NJ
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TOPIC: Over weight males in the lifestyle