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FORUMS General Discussions B.B.W. Fat discrimination
TOPIC: Fat discrimination
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Wow. I just read your profile, and almost every sentence starts with a negative. Defensive, negative (no this, no that, if you are not, we are not, etc). While you don't have to be syrupy sweet (that would just be fake), i think if you want to come across as accessible, attractive, fun, energetic, confident people in the swing world, you might want to rethink and rewrite.

Instead of being so defensive about yourselves, why not just write: we are big. Period. without the disclaimer. And the run ons that just sound angry. Unless that's what you're looking for in return? If so, let it stand as it is.

Don't worry so much about the "assholes" and what people think. What matters is what YOU think of yourselves, and in your profile, you don't sound as if you think much of yourselves. So, if you don't, why should anyone else?

Change some negatives to positive statements and see what happens. I like your picture in the vest/bustier and blue skirt. You will also run into less of an interest b/c you're in a poly relationship and it's a more narrow field for partners. Hang in there. Believe in yourself. Put across your belief in your profile. Good luck.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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there is no point to naming things...rise above that. There is karma in this world, and if you like yourself then that's all that matters, and your confidence and any positivity will help you in your search for partners.

There actually are indeed profiles that say "whites only" or "we only play within our race, weight limits, age brackets..." and so on. We even came across a swing club while looking online that stated "whites only." We couldn't believe it...until we considered the source and it was in Mississippi. Some things never change.

So, my "advice" is to ignore those who state things like that, don't let it get to you, and seek out those who fit your own desires in swinging. Try not to dwell on the negatives (easier said than done, I know), and enjoy yourselves.

This is a good place to gripe about anything. Then try to let it go and just have fun.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Back 14 years ago when we first started swinging there was a BIG swingers group here in NC. They only were listed in mags you sent in a letter asking for membership they sent out a package you filled out sent back with photos and other stuff. Well we did all this and got a nice letter back saying how they wanted to thank us for our interest but we were not what they were looking for in a couple to join there group, But if i lost weight then we could send in again for membership as they had standards to which they held the couples. Now mind you this club is still alive but under different owners now that is why i will not say its name.

High Point NC
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Wow!!! Incredible! I may be heavy but I have a beautiful face, personality and I am sexy! An ugly thin person could never change their face and an ugly personality will never get them anywhere in life.

This is about sexy fun and not a beauty contest, you will find plenty of couples/singles to play with. But I agree if they are attacking or harassing you, report them!

New York NY
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-worst part is some of the messages we have gotten.

Report them. Intentional insults are completely different from someone expressing a preference.

Columbia MD
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Oh sweetie,

I am so sorry people have been that ugly to you. The only thing I can say is consider the source. They may be pretty on the outside and ugly as hell on the inside!

Hugs~ Dee

Burleson TX
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bihigh, I am very sorry sweetie. Noone, not anyone, has the right to say cruel things like that.


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worst part is some of the messages we have gotten. like "would love to play but doubt i could find a hole under all that fat." or a message today that just said "oh my god you are so fat." Those are the things that make me mad.

High Point NC
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What's the difference between a "no (fill in the blank)" and a "(fill in the blank) only" comment? They are both preferences.

HOW you express that preference, however, says volumes about you. If a person uses a derogatory or demeaning term to describe a group of people, I think that identifies them as insecure and judgmental and that will ultimately hurt them.

If someone DOES use that kind of terminology in their profile, I silently thank them for letting the world know that they aren't the kind of folks we want to associate with... in our out of the bedroom.

Columbia MD
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Bighighpointcouple, You are going to see a lot of that. Some don't put it as plainly, others use "height weight proportionate" or fit only. It's pretty common for some to be that way, you should read some of the posts in the fitness forum, they are as derogatory, but in a more masked sort of way. I would be the first to admit I'm not athletic or hwp. I do have some extra pounds, but I don't discriminate against people looking for fun.

Port Saint Lucie FL
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination