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FORUMS General Discussions B.B.W. Fat discrimination
TOPIC: Fat discrimination
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Mrs. L I adore you.

Racer sound WAY too much like my ex husband, and yes, he was solid and fit, 7% body fat, I think. Anyway. When we first married, I weighed around 130-135, a good weight for me at 5'2", not skinny, but just right. Why did I gain up to 203? I was miserable. He knew it ALL, was controlling, abusive, and just plain mean. He didn't like anyone, and worked very hard to put down people so he could feel better.

No. He did not "cause" me to gain weight. But he sure didn't encourage me to lose it either, by saying, among other things, "fat people should just die, they disgust me." So, in our case, okay, you're right: I was fat, he was not, we are divorced. He said my weight was the cause of all his uncontrollable anger.

What causes my weight loss and my motivation to exercise and treat my body well? Compliments. Feeling better, healthier, better in my clothes, and in my skin. If someone says something encouraging to me, I keep trying that much harder. When my knees don't hurt, it helps me keep going. You get the idea. This "tough love" you speak of isn't fooling any of us. It's just "tough" without the "love." Like your father did to you. Tried to control you through making you feel bad for eating a cookie. My mom used to do the same thing. And so did others. And whether out of "rebellion," which was proposed to me as my excuse for not losing, or just feeling empty and wanting SOMETHING to fill those empty spaces, and loneliness and oppression, so on and so on, I did not take that kind of tough love to heart. Because? It isn't loving. It's demeaning. And damaging. As you know.

So, your own preferences are clearly stated, as are your feelings on the subjects of sex and attractiveness. You have every right to state such opinions. But as we "listen" to your points of view, we would like that same respect and courtesy in return, and not just your condemnation and regurgitation of some trite platitudes that you think make you sound more intelligent than what the rest of us have no trouble reading between your lines.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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OK, I will try and apply some Tough Love on the Racers...

I find you both quite unattractive, inside AND out. You've both been in the sun too long, and it shows in the condition of your skin and your brains. It also appears that you are both not honest all the time, because your noses are too big: you both need nose jobs.

OK, done for now. Have at us however you like, but just wanted to give you what you appear to like to give out.

Mrs. L

Gibsonia PA
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"You will find "cocky".. The RacerX9 "Characters" a plenty in The Game and you must know how to deal with them."

We have found them. We know how to deal with them.

This might come as quite a shock to you, RacerX, but most of us here have been swingers for some time, and run our own "Dojos".

Winter Garden FL
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Racer, Who do you think you are? There is room for everyone in this lifestyle. I don't think anyone needs you to be their "online teacher". Get over yourself.

Dallas TX
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if RacerX9 has to be the Asshole to do it, then so be it!

and a fine job you are doing

Philadelphia PA
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Do you love people ENOUGH to be Tough on them? Tough Love: Is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. Example: Athletic coaches who maintain strict rules and highly demanding training regimens, but who care about their players. We can not allow this "Forum" (Sexual Advice Classroom) to turn into a total Love Festival. Yes, it should be a nurturing environment, but most important it has to be a realistic reflection of The Game (Lifestyle) that we are all participating in. Perhaps you all do not like our style, but it's real. You will find "cocky" (duchbag,....gee whiz) The RacerX9 "Characters" a plenty in The Game and you must know how to deal with them. It's better to learn in the DoJo (classroom) then out there in the Sexual Arena, where it is for real, where it can be really emotionally hurtful. Trust me it is a TOUGH, TOUGH game that we are playing, where people will manipulate, deceive and USE you! You must hope for the BEST and plan for the worst. This cocky, conceited, know-it-all character "RacerX9" is essential for someone's training, to not provide it is a disservice to the folks who are trying to build the skills neccessary to compete in the Sexual Marketplace!! Everyone hears stories of the good side of the lifestyle, which is the ATTRACTION and WHY we are all Playah's, but there is a darkside as well. Think what you will about Janet and I, but personally we have been very lucky, we took it slow, communicated well, adjusted and have been Playah's for 20+ years. On many occassions at Sex Clubs and other venues, we have seen folks display fits of rage and emotionally sad moments of betrayal, crying uncontrollably, all being played out in the parking lots. These folks stepped into the arena unprepared!!! They did not ask each other or themselves the HARD questions. Advice was not rendered because some folks shied away from hurting someones feelings in the "classroom"?!?! I say bullshit! We will have none of it. Hard topics WILL be brought up into the mix in a HARD WAY! In a way that will stir RAW EMOTION and makes you think! We are all here to grow stronger in the Mind, Body and Spirit! The way I see it: The "Sexual Season" will start in earnest come the 2nd weekend in April and will run through Halloween. We have three months to prepare for the Official 2013 Season Opener! Janet and I will NOT have one of our students, peers, associates, on-line forum friends ---- sad and crying in the parking lot of some sex club because --- WE did not offer the hard topics up for discussion --OR-- they did not know how to deal with a raging asshole! In this on-line classroom you must be able to seperate the Wheat from the Chaff (to seperate what is useful or valuable from what is worthless), the mean from the meaningful and the wisdom from the bullshit. If we see an opportunity to turn a weakness into a strength, a opportunity to learn...........then we will exploit it, I promise you. These HARD TOPICS will be brought up and if RacerX9 has to be the Asshole to do it, then so be it!

Bonneau SC
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Will power and personal choice are also a factor in arrogance.

Fun fact- not only can duct tape turn a moose-knuckle into a camel toe, when placed over a keyboard it conserves bandwidth.

Brooklyn Park MN
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"Don't hate the Playah, hate the Game! "

We have known people who play your game. Most of us don't. Including many people in the upper echelons of attractiveness.

Whatever.. he's said his piece, and we responded. No need to give this sub-topic any more credibility by addressing it anymore.

Winter Garden FL
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So in Racer's world, unless he/she looks as they did the day they married, things wont workout. In other words, marriage is not about love, about building a life together, about partnership, it's about superficiality!

According to Racer, if a couple swings apart, they're headed for a divorce.

Racer,

What happened to you that you are so unsure of yourself? who shattered your psyche to such an extent that you're self esteem is in the gutter?

This is not to put you down, this is an honest professional assessment based on your photos. Though you're thin (particularly the male), you are not muscular as you seem to think you are. The photo on the left is of a man who is muscular, but who isn't as defined or muscular as he can potentially be. Yet he's humble, caring and sees humans as they are, not as he thinks they should be based on some theory that was drilled into his head in his youth.

Racer, your father fucked you up beyond belief. It is my sincere hope that you can find peace some day, with yourself that is.

Rumson NJ
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Don't hate the Playah, hate the Game!

Bonneau SC
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(356 posts)
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination