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FORUMS General Discussions B.B.W. Fat discrimination
TOPIC: Fat discrimination
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VA - I think I can predict that you and I could go for days on this topic and probably many others and still not see eye to eye. If you feel that people who have a differing opinion from yours have a bad attitude and are being defensive, then so be it. I expressed my opinion just as you expressed yours. Roc - Really? I never said that VA was rude, though he has said that he thought I would think that he was rude. He has a lot of opinions on who I am and what I'm thinking. He thought I was writing to people asking them why they didn't like me....he's told me I'm rude...angry....bitter....defensive....have a chip on my shoulder. But, I never once told him that he was defensive....angry....bitter....and had a chip on his shoulder! What I said was that my man and I have been treated rudely by people because of our weight/size/looks. I didn't name names. I made a general statement about how I HAVE been treated and how I WANT to be treated. Clearly....again....as I've stated before.....my thought process on the difference between preference and prejudice is different from the majority of people who have posted on this board. I think that if you read back, you will see that in my first post, I said that for every post from a person saying that they are being treated rudely because of their weight/size/looks, there are approx. 5 posts saying that they're wrong. And if you look at the responses since that first post, you will see that I was pretty spot on. VA, I applaud you for being so nice to those hefty older women! I'm sure they've appreciated it!

Sacramento CA
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a bit more:

"If you prefer to collect trophy stories or notches for your bedpost, by all means, go ahead and do that."

We prefer to have fun. That can be fun with an old friend who we have known for years, or someone we just met. It's not about numbers or trophies. Just fun.

You'd likely be amazed by the, lets say "heftiness" of some women I've been with.

Winter Garden FL
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You might consider this "rude", but I don't think you read what I wrote very carefully.

I am most certainly *not* OK with rude behavior, but we are limited in our power of what we can do about it. When people are rude, I ignore them. Rude people aren't interested in hearing the opinions of people who find them rude. There is nothing to be gained by taking rude people to task. I do not reward their rudeness with attention.

Our age different is not tremendous, and I have had plenty of women in their early 50s. Women I know very well, and others I don't know at all. I can enjoy either/or.

There is much more to being attractive then simply being hot. I have at the current moment at least 2 women who are quite hot who are actively pursuing me and I want nothing to do with either of them, because I think they are lousy people.

I'm being honest with you when I say this: if you present any of this kind of attitude, insecurity and defensiveness when meeting people, this is considerably less attractive than any amount of weight you carry. Mrs. VA used to be quite heavy herself, and thought much the way you do. Once she got around that, she was suddenly very happy in the lifestyle.

p.s your account says it was created in 2004, not one year ago.

Winter Garden FL
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VA - We've only been members of the site for a little over a year.....but, you are right in that I have been around this planet almost 20 years longer than you have, which may account, to some degree, for the differences in our viewpoint. What I've learned in my lifetime is that there is truth to the old saying that beauty may be just skin deep. I don't care if you choose to pick some Brazilian babe up and fuck the daylights out of her within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. That's just not how I choose to do things. I chose to get to know someone, or at least share a conversation or two, before I invite them into my private space. I find that I feel safer and more comfortable operating that way. You have the "right" to live your life the way you want. If you prefer to collect trophy stories or notches for your bedpost, by all means, go ahead and do that. All I ask is that, if you're dealing with me, show some respect. Have the common courtesy to treat me the way you would want to be treated. I'm not just a screenname on a website. There is a person or persons behind that screenname. If you're the type of person who would expect people to and appreciate people who treat you rudely, then I'm probably better off not getting to know you. But, that's just me. Obviously, Ms. Brazil enjoyed your company and, it appears that you enjoyed her's.....so, carry on my wayward son! Do what you gotta do. But, don't expect me to agree with you that rude behavior, just because you don't like the way a person looks, is ok. It's not. And I truly feel that you are cheating yourself out of some potentially wonderful experiences because you prefer to judge people that way. But, that's just my opinion.....and we all have a "right" to our opinion.....right?

Sacramento CA
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I certainly wouldn't be rude to anyone who we weren't interested in, and I think people who are are jerks, but so be it. Some people are jerks. It's just the way it is.

Here's my question for you - why do you think "Your Way" is the only way? I have no problem with your manner of seeking playmates - why do you have a problem with how other people choose to?

Some of our greatest times have been with very much less-than-perfect people, but at the same time - it's been a week and I am still glowing from some young Brazilian babe I met in New Jersey (and at this point it probably counts as bragging). I had her in a room less than 5 minutes after meeting her. I have no idea what kind of person she is, but what happened certainly wouldn't have happened had I not found her incredibly attractive (and she presumably me) before a word ever came out either of our mouths. It may not be how you would do things, but why is "My Way" inferior to yours?

My best advice to you (although you've been around here for some time - I know you're not new to this) is to ignore the jerks and be a good person yourself. Don't let the bozos get you down. Be friendly, social and confident and you'll be fine.

Winter Garden FL
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Sweet, we are just trying to meet normal, average people. We tend to read through profiles to see if we have similar likes/dislikes/interests and if we do, we will say hello. As for the people who contact us, we tend to give most everyone a chance…even if they may not be physically what appeals to us most. We try to treat people how we want to be treated. I think everyone deserves respect. Are we always nice? Heck no!! I’m sure we’re not. We’re human…but, we do try. As for overweight men, I have played with men that have been very small and thin and have played with those that have more weight to them. For me, it’s more about personality than looks. But, that’s just me. To me, the term “overweight” is subjective anyway. What you may consider “overweight” may be completely different than what I consider “overweight” and both may be different from what an MD would consider “overweight”. I feel the same about dick size. I don’t care how big it is. If you know how to use it, you know how to use it! I know that there are different strokes for different folks. I would just hope that people would look a little further than skin-deep. The next person to rock your world may look a lot different than you expect.

Sacramento CA
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Such a large spectrum of responses on this. Preference is preference, not necessarily discrimination. There are those that are just down right ugly about indicating their preferences, be it size, race, status, et al.

IMO, I concur about that us "Big 'ol Boys" have it a little more rough in the LS. Yes, I still consider myself a "Big 'ol Boy". There are those that remember me whenm I wasn't half the man I used to be, lol. It is about attitude and how you present yourself. Been there, done that, have the friends to prove it.

Just put your best foot forward.

Wolfie

Burleson TX
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Livewire, I love your profile and your advice. I’m going to rethink our profile and try to make it more specific and positive. VA, it was not my original intention to come across as bitter or hostile, though, to some extent I AM bitter and hostile!! So, I will take your advice and try to temper my posts so that I am more neutral. Contrary to how it may appear, I do appreciate feedback. We want to have fun…just like everyone else here. Any tips that we can get that will help us to achieve that goal, will be appreciated.

Sacramento CA
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If being bitter and angry is not the impression you wish to make, you need to check your writing style. You come across as hostile. I'm certain that I'm not the only one who would read it that way.

As for people who write back "You're too fat" - why are you letting jerks upset you? We've received nasty and downright vicious replies too. One said "If I wanted to meet a heifer I'd go to a farm." You think you're the only one who gets nastygrams?

You take the good with the bad. If you think being thin gets you a 95% hit rate on emails, you are sorely mistaken.

As for the mistaken ID of the author of the email - sorry dudette.

Winter Garden FL
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VA, really?? Well, if having a chip on my shoulder means that I have a different opinion on fat discrimination than you do, then I accept that. But, frankly, I don’t know how you would know what my attitude on life is like or whether I have a chip on my shoulder from two posts on a website! That’s kind of a quick snap judgement, but that’s what this lifestyle is about….according to you…..right? And, by the way……I’m a *dudette* not a *dude*. And, no….I don’t send emails asking “why don’t you like me??” I may be fat sensitive and have a chip on my shoulder, but, I’m not totally ignorant or in high school. People have actually answered emails or messages with a “you’re too fat”. Sweet….good for you for having a love handle…or two…or three…..depending on what and where you’re grabbing <wink>! I guess I’m a chubby chaser, too! And, I love a good redneck….but, we’re not into the bar scene. We, too, have plenty of friends and family outside the lifestyle. We know what’s important in life and that this site is not the be-all and end-all of life. I guess it’s just disappointing to find out we are not “fuck-worthy” or “friend-worthy” based on our looks.

Sacramento CA
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination