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FORUMS General Discussions B.B.W. Fat discrimination
TOPIC: Fat discrimination
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Thank you very much, ma'am. And you even still liked me after meeting me in person...in both forms. I've lost 150lbs this year and at my target range now. Other than my square footage, the only change has been my self-confidence. The flirting and mind are stil the same darlin (wink). Can't wait for the next run....

Burleson TX
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As far as the overweight male goes, there is a guy on here that I've flirted with for years now. He was large. He is now not large. I thought he was sexy at the heavier weight, and I think he's still sexy at his fit weight. He's prob lost over 100 pounds this past year.

So not everyone has that mentality that fat just ain't sexy. It wasn't/isn't about the "fat" for my attraction to him. It's about the man behind the smile, the intelligence and the flirtatious wit. Wolf, you know who you are. ;) Gina

San Antonio TX
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I haven't been on here in a while, so I didn't read all the replies below, but one stuck out: when the new couple in here posted about "chip on her shoulder" and yes, she was a bit hostile and bitter...well isn't THAT your answer as to why you are getting no response on a swing site? That is WAY more a turn off to anyone seeking sex than what you weigh. It's time to turn it around, if you want to have fun in swinging. You can either have that chip on your shoulder b/c you perceive that people are rejecting you because of your weight, or you can realize that it's the chip there that is unattractive. People prefer all kinds of sizes and shapes and colors and heights and preferences.

Here, I'll use this example yet again, since you are newer: My husband does not "prefer" redheads. Doesn't seek them out, just isn't his think to be attracted INITIALLY to a freckled redhead. He doesn't know why. No one in his past was redheaded and bitchy to him, etc. BUT Has he been attracted to freckled redheads and has he had sex with them and has he gone on to become great friends with them? YES! The sex appeal goes beyond weight, or hair color, or freckles. It's attitude, it's a genuine smile, it's flirting, being confident, wearing what you know fits and looks good on you no matter what size it is, holding your body w/ confidence and assurance. It's also grabbing him by the hand after she knows he's interested and leading him into the bedroom and saying, "I want you to fuck me." That worked for him with a couple of fun REDHEADED FRECKLED friends, attractive, not perfect women.

Now, if he was looking at profile pics, he might have scrolled right past them. Yes. Maybe that's too bad. And if the chip on your shoulder is regarding that, then I'd say it's a waste of a good chip. Because there is nothing that whining, complaining, griping, bitching, and posting can do to change that dynamic.

Go boldly on and have a good time! Gina

San Antonio TX
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Thank you. A lot of people didn't realize how heavy she was because she carried it so nicely. But she finally put her nose to the grindstone and decided that she was done being overweight, and made it so. She made her first 40 mile bike ride only 3 months in and still about 230, and her first 60 mile bike ride while still about 210 pounds.

That said - neither of us ever tells anyone what they should or should not do. While some people are obviously dangerously overweight (or rather, maybe not dangerous for 35 years old, but definitely for 60), we think that's none of our business, unless someone flat-out asks us what we think (which is usually not the case).

Winter Garden FL
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"VA, I can tell you that as an overweight male, how I carry my self and the confidence level i desplay has little to do with it. "

Well, I will say that as much as women accuse men of being so shallow all the time, me losing 20 pounds made one helluva difference in how women treated me. Perhaps some of that came from my own improved confidence, though.

Winter Garden FL
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She lost about 115 pounds between early 2011 and now. About 80 of it in 2011, and the rest in 2012.

She was "bbw" for most of our swinging "career". All of her "bigger girl" pics are not on SLS anymore.

She lost it through a combination of low carb dieting and cycling. Thousands of miles of cycling. She (literally) pedaled her ass off.

Winter Garden FL
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Mrs. LWC, are you asking a general question or for yourself?

Because I think you look great already.

Miami Beach FL
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"If you feel that people who have a differing opinion from yours have a bad attitude and are being defensive, then so be it."

I don't think "people" do. I think *you* do.

"VA, I applaud you for being so nice to those hefty older women! I'm sure they've appreciated it!"

You sure like implying things I'm not saying. I said that to debunk the notion I believe you were purporting that I was only interested in collecting young Brazilian hotties with perfect round asses. I'm saying I'm not nearly as shallow as you seem to think I am.

I've been honest with you. And I honestly say I wish you well and hope you find fun and happiness with this, and learn to simply see past those who are insulting and rude.

Winter Garden FL
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VA - I think I can predict that you and I could go for days on this topic and probably many others and still not see eye to eye. If you feel that people who have a differing opinion from yours have a bad attitude and are being defensive, then so be it. I expressed my opinion just as you expressed yours. Roc - Really? I never said that VA was rude, though he has said that he thought I would think that he was rude. He has a lot of opinions on who I am and what I'm thinking. He thought I was writing to people asking them why they didn't like me....he's told me I'm rude...angry....bitter....defensive....have a chip on my shoulder. But, I never once told him that he was defensive....angry....bitter....and had a chip on his shoulder! What I said was that my man and I have been treated rudely by people because of our weight/size/looks. I didn't name names. I made a general statement about how I HAVE been treated and how I WANT to be treated. Clearly....again....as I've stated before.....my thought process on the difference between preference and prejudice is different from the majority of people who have posted on this board. I think that if you read back, you will see that in my first post, I said that for every post from a person saying that they are being treated rudely because of their weight/size/looks, there are approx. 5 posts saying that they're wrong. And if you look at the responses since that first post, you will see that I was pretty spot on. VA, I applaud you for being so nice to those hefty older women! I'm sure they've appreciated it!

Sacramento CA
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a bit more:

"If you prefer to collect trophy stories or notches for your bedpost, by all means, go ahead and do that."

We prefer to have fun. That can be fun with an old friend who we have known for years, or someone we just met. It's not about numbers or trophies. Just fun.

You'd likely be amazed by the, lets say "heftiness" of some women I've been with.

Winter Garden FL
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination