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Fat discrimination : Swingers Discussion 17431610111
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination
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as a single male i get couples where the female is heavy set and thats not what i like . but they think i will just jump in bed and nail her . get pissed when i say no thank you.

Lowell MI
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I don't see a problem at all discriminating against who ever you wish. It's your body, and you can choose who you wish to play with AND who you wish not to play with. Myself, I prefer tall, well built men. so I guess I discriminate against short and heavy men. I get a lot that get mad, but I ask them do you fuck everyone that shows interest? If not, then you discriminate too. Of course there are some that will fuck anything breathing. But that's a different story.

Bellevue TN
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Such a lightning rod of a topic. Preference is preference, turn on are turn ons. We are all built/programmed differently. That's what makes this all so much fun. Would be kind of boring if we are all into the same thing. YAWN. But, with that being said, it is one thing to have a preference and another to just be ugly about it to an extent you tear the other party down ( this goes for both sides mind you).

Thankfully, there are those that looked past my exterior, not many did. Not that I would necessarily have made Quasimodo look like the Hunk of the Year, but I could have played Nose Tackle for any professional football team out there.

Personally, my mind must be enticed for my body to follow, just the way I am. There has to be some kind of connection mentally, otherwise it just doesn't work for me. There have been many over the years that I would not have thought twice about, but then getting to know the mind, humor and mystery could suck me in. I know I was not everyone's cup of tea then and I know I am not everyone else's cup of tea now. Be it because I was too fat, too skinny, too tall, too old, too shy, quiet, subtle, nice etc. It is all a learning experience that we refine as we go, finding what works for each of us.

Just have fun, try not to hurt one another, and treat others as you would like yourself or your significant other treated.

My personal opinion only....

Burleson TX
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I must be playing the game wrong. My man & I were just talking about this today. Attraction for me is way more than just looks. For me, I like to get to know someone a little bit. I can have perfectly enjoyable sex with someone I’ve just met….but, it’s all so much more satisfying and fun for me when I’ve taken a little time to get to know someone. Attraction, for me is a personal thing that sometimes is just as mysterious to myself as it is to others. I remember one time watching a young man dancing…..I was much younger, too, at the time. Had I seen that young man in a picture or walking down the street, I would never have given him a second look because, physically, he was not someone I would have typically been interested in. But, something about the way he danced set me afire! The same can be true of someone who writes well….physically, I may not be attracted to him/her….but, that ability to express themself well is very sexy to me. So, for me, I can’t just go on looks. I’ve got to give a person a chance to show me more than just a picture. For me, I agree with Sexus’ comment ... The fun part comes when you meet an exception to what you think are your preferences, and have the time of your life with this person. That's what a lot of people are saying when they say to remain open. ... The surprise of that exception and the process of learning more about yourself and what can get your motor running makes life more exciting….for me!

Sacramento CA
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... The fun part comes when you meet an exception to what you think are your preferences, and have the time of your life with this person. That's what a lot of people are saying when they say to remain open. ...

I do not agree. If someone I perceive is not in the body frame that I am sexually attracted to I would not consider having sex with him. To me this is swinging I am not seeking to find someone " inner beauty". I am here to have a physical fun with someone who I or us find attractive. And if a friendship is developed b/c we find each others inner beauty - fantastic! For me chatting with a single guy or the husband of a couple more than a couple times, even after viewing pictures, without meeting face to face I do like to do: Because unless I meet you face to face prior chats do not compensate for the extra weight. At that pt I am not interested in continuing chatting, well at least not, on a sexual basis or anything to do with sex.

I do not believe there is a fat discrimination. People have a right to like what they like. There is nothing wrong with indicating what your seeking. I think how people indicate there preference/s can be but rude and mean spirited. But then everyone here is an adult and realize it is what it is, and just passes over the profile and moves on.

my thoughts

Lansing MI
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Gina, I love you!

It amazes me sometimes how well you say what I am thinking.

Burleson TX
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I think a lot of us have skewed views of ourselves at times. Sometimes I think I'm the fattest person in the room, when I'm not, and sometimes I think I look pretty good, and then see a pic of myself and am horrified. That said, a heavy body and a good personality are not exclusive, same as a hot toned body and a snobby personality. I've had friends all my life who were the "hot girls" and who were as sweet and friendly as could be. I think that's where I get a bit concerned with these type threads in the forums: you CAN have a good body and also be a nice person. And you can be a fat person and be a bitch too.

Initial attraction is what gets people to email or interact, and that is very personal and subjective. The fun part comes when you meet an exception to what you think are your preferences, and have the time of your life with this person. That's what a lot of people are saying when they say to remain open. We go by an individual preference for or against people we meet. I guess that's why we don't list preferences in our profile. We know what we like when we see it, and then take it from there. And yes, we have been known to give people sort of a "second chance" unless they've done or said something to turn us off. Then, no.

There are more indicators of attraction sometimes than primarily the physical. I will give this example: I've flirted for years on here with a rather large male. I knew his size, but it didn't matter (some will say b/c I'm heavy, I'm attracted to heavier men, but that's not necessarily true all the time), there was something sly, witty, sexy, flirty, and attractive about him. We met, and it remained an attraction. NOW, this male has lost a considerable amount of weight. Does that make him MORE attractive? Some would say yes. For me, however, I was attracted to him at his heaviest, and I'm still attracted to him at his lightest. And I can't exactly express why a person attracts me. I know what does NOT attract me, but I sometimes don't realize why I have a strong attraction TO someone.

At any rate, I'll report back after we get together with the couple this weekend!

So, I try not to overanalyze it and just enjoy it for whatever it is. Haha. Me, trying not to overanalyze....

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Funny thing about this subject that we ran into is that we have been told before by a couple of couples that we were to big, they could not play with a large couple, here is the KICKER all of them were larger then us hahahah, now i understand preferences and all, but just thought it was funny them telling us we were to fat to play with when they were larger then us. Now me personally, i would rather play sexually with a woman who is ( in the worlds eyes a 4 ) but has a 8-9 personality and we click that way, then a woman who is a 9 on the world scale, but a 3-4 personality, i once started playing with a woman who was HOT looks wise, but as we started playing she was making me feel like it was a honor for me to be with her and she was taking one for the team just to do this with me, i got up dressed and walked out, she asked what the fuck?? i told her i am not someones charity fuck, and did not like being treated that way and left the room, i was very sexually attracted to her looks wise, but that attitude? screw that

Holland MI
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Accidentally clicked on this forum but the thread title caught my eye so here's my 2 cents:

Anyone saying "No fatties" in their profile comes off as petty, immature and inconsiderate. That said, not wanting to play with more "robust" individuals is anything but discriminatory. It's personal preference. Sorry, I'm just not physically attracted to heavy set people and neither is my partner. And since this lifestyle revolves around sexual exploration and fantasy, physical appearance carries more weight (pun unintended) than it would if we were just looking for people to be friends with.

T

Danville PA
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HOw did the party turn out? And welcome to the forums.

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination