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Fat discrimination : Swingers Discussion 1743161071
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination
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People keep weight on for a number of reasons. It shouldn't matter to anyone else why or why not. We will get healthy when we are ready. For me, I started working on it, then backed down to work on other areas. I guess I didn't realize I can improve myself in more than one area at a time. Duh.

We are all a work in progress, for our own reasons. And yes, everyone has insecurities. I just happen to openly express mine honestly. And that disturbs some people who can't handle me or seem to have a savior complex and want to "fix" me. I'm not broken. I am me, and that includes whatever I've been through, and going through, and will continue to deal with in whatever area of my life that takes precedence at any given time.

Some people hide their insecurities and "issues." Some try to hide but they shine through pretty glaringly to people who have self-awareness and insight. And some people deny their own insecurities and issues to focus on other people's stuff. And then there are people like me who have no time or inclination to hide their stuff. When you're 52 and have been dealing with stuff all your life, you have very little time anymore to put on all the masks. Everyone has stuff. (I'm feeling a George Carlin moment coming on...) My stuff is my stuff. It is not your stuff. Work on your own stuff. Something like that.

This is not directed at any previous posters on the topic in here. This is just something that has recently been brought to light b/c people who are "concerned" for me are telling me what they think is best for me. And they really don't know. And they really don't know me completely. Because they don't ask me. They just simply "assume" by what they see or hear me say about my "stuff." I'm bluntly, raw-ly honest about myself, my past, some of my secrets, some of my "issues" and will continue to be so. It's why I write. I work on figuring myself out as I write. Maybe sometimes it's helpful to someone else, and maybe sometimes it disturbs or concerns someone else. But it's me and how I manage my life. It's okay if people are not okay with me.

I think there would be a lot less drama in all areas of life if everyone would just work on themselves and not try to think they really know another person all that well. I don't show all of myself to everyone. Not that many people know ALL of me. Or even why I do certain things, or say certain things, or even feel a certain way. Not even my husband knows ALL of me, although he is the one who knows the most, knows me best, and is a good solid foundation from which to jump and discover more things about myself.

And of course, we all know the saying when you "assume" things about a person without really asking or listening.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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funguy we are working on that shes lost 50 lbs so far, its not a easy road, because she injured her foot so we can walk like we used to, are trying wii workouts to see if that helps, but yes we/she are trying

Holland MI
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Why are we even discussing this anymore? An inflammatory ass wandered in, stirred up shit, and then deleted their posts (or they were removed). There's no reason to apologize or anything anymore.

Chesapeake VA
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Hmm.....? All this time I thought it was her writing these posts. I accept your apology. I applaud you for the time and effort you've put in to help her get past an abusive relationship. You obviously love her very much. Maybe you love her enough to help her find a way to be a healthier weight that will improve her self esteem, wipe those abusive images out of her mind, and make her live longer to enjoy this great relationship with you. I wish you both all the best.

Austin TX
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Well i am maybe a bit over sensitive to the F word, maybe because my now wife is a larger woman, and her first husband verbally abused her for the last 4-5 yrs of their marriage, it took me over 3 yrs to get her to believe shes a beautiful woman and not let others words hurt her, he called her a Fat ass bitch all the time and it angered me, like i say people can have their own thoughts and express them, and wants and desires, but when people feel the need to put others down for there looks and body and call mean names doing it, it crosses a line with me. I have told my kids, always be honest in life, just never mean when doing so, and yes i crossed a line when i cussed you out i was wrong, and went to far, and i hope others on here can forgive me as well for my rant the other post it was wrong and out of line. so lets all just get along and have fun huh??

Holland MI
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Time for my $.02 again....I think any word said, written or thought in a demeaning way is not appreciated.....regardless of what the word is. I remember in high school.....back when Fred, Wilma & I attended Bedrock High.....we had a discussion about women being referred to as "chicks". There were those who objected to the word because they felt it was a demeaning slang term and others who didn't mind the word at all because it reminded them of something soft, sweet & cuddly. So, it just depends on who is using the word, how it's used, and how the person on the receiving end is taking it. Any word can be objectionable if there is a negative thought attached to it. I think, when there is doubt, err on the side of not using a term that might be misconstrued.....but, that's just me! Others say what they feel and be damned with the feelings of others. The word "Fat" has a negative connotation to it. I think most people would agree. I think that it is a hot button word that, most of the time, generates strong emotion.....most of which is negative. The only time I've heard "fat" used in a positive way is when someone says they have a "fat wallet" or are living off the "fat of the land". Otherwise, it is mostly used as a pretty negative reference to someone obese, something greasy, unnecessary excess, or some other negative meaning. Just my thoughts.....not aimed at anyone in particular!

Sacramento CA
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Naughtynfunlover, if you go back and read my original post, I wrote in general terms and was not referring to you personally at all. Your response to me was very personal and uncalled for. I'm sorry if my post upset you so much. I apologize, but I don't agree that fat is equated with the n-word. It would be interesting to see a poll on that.

I also agree with sweettart when they said, be honest with yourself. I work hard to keep myself in decent shape. At times I haven't, and I gained a bunch of weight. No matter how long I've been doing it, it's hard every week to push myself out to do my miles, and then come home sore and work out too. It's an ongoing tough commitment that is difficult to keep up.

Even though I said I wouldn't post again, I'm encourage by people like SexusnTexas. Thank you. What a pretty photo you have.

Austin TX
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Funguy i am not a angry person, but i do get pissed when somone feels the need to belittle people who are what they think of as over weight, you said yourself the word FAT many times in your post, that is as bad a word i think as calling a black person the N word, you think people who are bigger then you are not aware of what the world thinks of them? this is supposed to be a OPEN minded life style, but we have found it to be at times far more close minded then the reg vanilla world, so yes you are entitled to your thoughts, but so are skin heads entitled to their thoughts, but it don't mean that they are not out of line with them. Lastly you state i should not have started this discussion if i did not want honest thoughts? um i never started this topic, i was just posting my thoughts, and maybe i was out of line for the as**** comment for that i do apologize, its just angers me when people feel the need to put people down because they don't fit what they think of as the right size, and as stated above, i equate the calling of some one fat with the same use of the N word to black people, and stood up for the people that your insult was thrown at. so just like you this is just my thoughts as well

Holland MI
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Can't we all just get along? "All we are sayinggggggg....is give peace a chance....."

Burleson TX
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Fun guy, stay in the forums...you'll find that most of us in Texas kind of stick together sometimes;) At any rate, it's a nicely represented state.

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: Fat discrimination